Because somebody has nothing better to do than build giant LEGO minifigs and dump them in the ocean , 8-foot tall ‘Ego Leonard’ (yes, he has a f***ing name) washed up on a Florida beach yesterday. No word if he was assaulted by any sharks on his trek, but hopefully he at least got to see some mermaid titties. *daydreaming* In my mind their nips look like sand dollars. The Lego man in Florida had his name written on the back of his plastic shirt above the number 8. On the front, the phrase “no real than you are.” Ego Leonard’s website shows that there are more Lego men just like him circumnavigating the globe in order to learn about our world and thoughts. “My name is Ego Leonard and according to you I come from the virtual world. A world that for me represents happiness, solidarity, all green and blossoming, with no rules or limitations. Lately however, my world has been flooded with fortune-hunters and people drunk with power. And many new encounters in the virtual world have triggered my curiosity about your way of life. I am here to discover and learn about your world and thoughts.” Wow, making up some hippy-ass stories for giant LEGO minifigs you dumped in the ocean? That is just… wow . Clearly SOMEBODY needs to find a new damn hobby. Get it? Me — I’ve been collecting boogers! Hit the jump for a video of a guy filming him and talking almost as much nonsense as the minifig itself.

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Stop Polluting Our Oceans!: Another 8-Ft LEGO Minfig Washes Up, This Time In Florida

If you haven’t seen this yet it’s a video of some folks that were hired by the city of Barcelona to help remove pigeons from the city and thus reduce the flying rat’s fecal impact on buildings and landmarks. And this is how they do it: with some sort of magic net-gun , possibly similar to this thing . Whatever it is, one thing’s for certain: Spiderman seriously blew his chance to make a little extra pocket-money. Didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU, PETER PARKER?! *SCREEEECH!* Haha, is, uh, is this thing on? Hit it for a very short video of the other other grayish-white meat.

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How To: Catch A Ton Of Pigeons. Or, Why Is There So Much Bird $#!7 Right Here?