Joints: if you smoke them they make you high . Poles: if you smoke them they make you gay. Ooooooor a lady. Or, in my case, a free spirit. Anyway, some jokers rolled out(!) a doobie-constructing iPhone app (that amazingly wasn’t axed by the Apple Gestapo) and got over 25K downloads in a night. Wow, that’s a whole lot of hipsters who can’t roll a f***ing joint. Three close friends who grew up together in Fresno, California have imagined a fantastical iPhone app that teaches users how to roll their own crowd pleasing, monster joints like a seasoned pro. The Roll Your Own iPhone application shows users how to carefully master rolling techniques including the “Classic” and “Classic with Crutch”. The preparation section offers user friendly tips on mixtures, papers, packing and crutches for an optimized rolling experience. “While these numbers are exciting to us, two of us still live in trailers and I’m currently living at my father’s home on food stamps,” Noah told the iPhone Savior. “So, at this rate, I’m not anticipating moving out any time soon.” *facepalm* Weed Rolling App Attracts 25K Users Overnight [iphonesavior]

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Joint-Rollin’ iPhone App Meets Instant Success

This is a sessy video of a pole dancing ninja that, for at least part of her routine, performs with her sword out. An actual sword FYI, that wasn’t a euphemism for a man-hammer. Or was it? It wasn’t so just go watch the video. Pole dancing ninjas : they’re not as uncommon as you’d expect. Just sayin’, strippers have stolen my wallet more times than I’d like to admit. FINE, ELEVEN TIMES, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! I need one of those wallet chains but I don’t want people to think I’m a Juggalo. Hit the jump for the *slash* OH GOD PLEASE TELL ME THAT PART OF THE ACT.

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Pole Dancing Ninja Performs With A Sword

Is there anything sexier than a grandma strip-dancin’ ? Yes, every single thing in the world including being compacted to death in the back of a garbage truck. But for the six of you out there that are into crimes against nature , there’s the $115 Cushion-Grip Security Pole Mobility Aid. How about a review? The user needs this device to assist in getting in and out of bed safely. It has a nice cushion grip, is attractive, and easy to install. It is not as sturdy as I would have hoped it would be. It wiggles a bit in the middle and that makes me a bit nervous. But I like a little wiggle in the middle! No, no I don’t either. I like zero wiggles. Still, you’ve got to admit the thought of a grandma seductively gyrating her sloopy ass off the shitter does get you hot and bothered. No? Just cold and throwy uppy? Oh. Product Site Thanks to Eric-tile, who may or may not volunteer at a nursing home.

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Sexy Time!: Stripper Poles For The Elderly

Okay, so here’s the gameplan: you run to the bank for singles while I stuff my pants with chicken . One two three, BREAK! Geekologie’s Facebook Page Thanks to Jonathan and Julien, who don’t send tips as much as post them on Geekologie’s Facebook page. Hey I know, that tip form can be tricky.

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So Hot: The Sexiest Thing I’ve Seen All Day

NOTE : Probably NSFW just because most employers frown on videos of dancers working the pole, but there is no nudity or even thongs, so yeah, use your own discretion (read: push play). No need to thank me folks, just doing my job. Also, I saw things happen in this video that I didn’t think were humanly possible (mostly towards the end). Beautiful things. Think a family of unicorns cresting a double rainbow on the first day of spring, but then replace that with a stripper throwing her hooha around a pole, and you’ve got it. Youtube Thanks to Party Kid Transformer and Julia, who can perform all these stunts without the pole because they’re both powerful sorcerers.

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Just Doing My Job: 2009 Pole Dancing Contest