Your barrel’s saggin’, bro. God, if I had a nickel for every time somebody told me my barrel was droopy I’d be pounding an Egg McMuffin right now. This is Nick Jensen and his 1:1 scale replica Halo: Reach LEGO sniper rifle . I…wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of it (butt or otherwise). Based on the Halo: Reach incarnation of the weapon, it’s 63 inches long, weighs over ten pounds and features a removable magazine, moving safety and sliding bolt (it doesn’t actually fire, though). It also took over four months to complete. Good lookin’, Nick. I’ve seen a lot of LEGO guns in my day, and let me tell you: don’t ever bring one to a knife fight. It may seem like a good idea if you’ve been drinking, but you WILL get cut, and you WILL bleed. You ever had a blood transfusion before? They filled me with Kool-Aid. Hit the jump for a couple more shots but follow the link for higher-res versions.

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Scale Replica Of Halo Sniper Rifle In LEGO

This is a classification of bread clips because doctors contributing to the British Medical Journal want to create a “gastrointestinally safer” version by pointing out all the dangers the ones currently in use. Alternatively, LEARN HOW TO MAKE A F***ING SANDWICH WITHOUT EATING THE GOT-DAMN BREAD CLIP. Hit the jump for a close-up of the anatomy of a bread clip and a phylogenetic tree (yes, seriously).

Link:
Doctors Classify Bread Clips In Hopes Of Developing A More Safely Digestible One

This is a Coke billboard in the Philippines touting the company’s greenliness. How earth-friendly is Coke besides the billboard? I have no clue. Probably not very. Whenever I have to guess about something like this I always err on the side of “companies really don’t give a shit and will only do enough to give the appearance that they do.” Hey, I could be wrong though (except there’s no way because a Mountain Dew rep actually told me that). The 60 x 60 foot living billboard in Manila is made of thousands of Fukien tea plants surrounding the iconic curvy shape of a silver Coke bottle. The project with the CO2-eating plants was created in conjunction with Coca-Cola Philippines’ Live Positively sustainability program. Pots made from recycled bottles contain the 3,600 trees, which live off a mixture of organic fertilizers. Though they are currently in the first stages of growth, the plants are expected to grow quickly, completely taking over the billboard surface, absorbing a total of 46,800 pounds of carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. Who knows, maybe I’m just being cynical. Well — what’s your opinion? “It’d be cooler if that was ganja growing out of it.” OMG — so we could shoot flaming arrows at it and get high?! I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING! Coca-Cola Plant Billboard Absorbs Air Pollution [huffingtonpost] Thanks to Pat, who agrees the best technology is green technology. Wait like earth-friendly, or alien?

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Coca-Cola’s Iffy Pollution-Cleaning Billboard

When LEGOLand California General Manager Peter Rochetti came out to the parking lot to leave work for the day he found out his Volvo SUV had been replaced with a nonfunctional LEGO version. “Oh you guys! Are you guys messing with me again?! Because if I find out you actually sold my car and replaced it with a LEGO one I WILL F***ING FIRE YOU ALL AND BURN YOUR HOUSES TO ASH!!!! I think he had cocktails at lunch. The blue beauty was made of 201,760 pieces of lego and weighed 2,934 pounds, reports the LA Times. I love how he tries the door handle. Peter, please tell me you just wanted to see if there was an interior and not because you thought it was a real car. Because, I’m not gonna lie, that would be a bad sign for a guy running a multi-million dollar business. Also, “Don’t bother coming to work tomorrow.” Hit the jump for the short video.

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Oh You Guys!: LEGOLand General Manager Pranked With LEGO Version Of His Volvo

Bro. Hey bro — your penis fell off. This is a human anatomy LEGO figure (not to be confused with the anatomy OF a LEGO figure ) created by LEGOmaniac and Flickr user Choking Hazards (I know they are but I can’t resist!) and Photoshopped to look like it’s straight out of an old anatomy book. Thankfully it’s not though, because otherwise we’d have a whole bunch of doctors practicing today that can’t tell @$$holes from elbows and stand just as good a chance of removing either if you go in for an appendectomy. Don’t get me wrong, my b-hole isn’t anything to write home about, but I’d still like to keep it. Wouldn’t I? Wouldn’t I, lil b-hole? “Bleach me.” YOU SHUT THE F*** UP OR I WILL STOP WIPING. Hit the jump for a bunch more.

See the rest here:
LEGO Anatomy Model: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Modular Plastic Parts

In other loosely related ‘things with wheels’ news, here’s a model of a bicycle made entirely out of LEGO bricks that was spotted by LEGOmaniac (and Flickr user) Brickapolis on display at North Carolina’s Brickmagic modular plastic block festival. As you can see, it completely defies the laws of physics. Nice try guys, but I know a bunch of LEGO blocks glued to a real bike when I see one! Also, looks like the back tire’s valve cap fell off. You might wanna pick that up before I decide to put it in my mouth. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the impressiveness.

Link:
Bicycle Made Entirely Out Of LEGO Bricks

This is a Terminator in a Spongebob skin made out of LEGO . I, for one, am never eating another Krabby Patty for as long as I live. Which, since I’m a sorcerer, is forever. That’s right, I’m gonna put the Krusty Crab out of business! And speaking of Krusty Krabs *drops trou* Give it to me straight, doc, how do I get rid of ‘em? “Holy f*** — I’ve seen smaller Alaskan king crabs!” Sooooooo…sell them to Red Lobster? What’re you trying to tell me? Hit the jump for several more shots, including one from the back showing his inner-workings.

See the article here:
Spongebob Actually A Terminator In Disguise

Note: Larger shot HERE in case your little sister’s trying to argue it looks more like intestines than brains. SHUT UP LAURA BEFORE I TELL THAT BOY YOU LIKE YOU HAVE SCABIES. Geekologie’s resident anatomy expert Jason Freeny (is it true women pee out of their butts?!) is at it again, this time with a Rubik’s Cube covered in brain. Well, not real brain , just plastic brain. Which, I’m not gonna lie, is way more than I have going on up in the ol’ nog. Read: THERE’S NO LIGHT ON IN MY ATTIC. The basement, yes (I swallowed a flashlight trying to peek at my tonsils in the mirror). Moist Production (Jason’s Website) Thanks to the man himself, who promised me a model of an anatomically correct dino shlong. The bigger the better, Jason, I’ve got a whole lotta love butt to give.

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Rubik’s Brain Cube: Now That’s What I Call A Mind Game (Shoot Me Now, Don’t Hesitate)

I am impress. Granted I thought it was a peen-eating plant growing out of a vagina at first, but you know what they say: you see what you want to . Anyway: a LEGO still-life of a spraypaint can exploding made by Cole Blaq (who also made this piece featured earlier). I swear, people can get so creative. Like last night when I was stumbling home from the bar I saw a man who, in lieu of a public restroom, was dropping his kids off in a storm drain . It being clearly marked ‘NO DUMPING: DRAINS TO RIVER’ aside, the Los Angeles River isn’t so much a river as it is a concrete cesspool THAT I STILL SEE PEOPLE FISHING IN anyways. So yeah — not feeling so creative now are you, Da Vinci?! “For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return.” What. in. the. — ARE YOU HIGH AGAIN?! Paint me naked? One more shot after the jump, along with a link to Cole’s website with a ton more LEGO works (a lot of which are spraypaint themed for some reason. I suspect huffing ).

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Exploding Spraypaint Can Made In LEGO

I hate needles . Needles and robots can both go jump into a volcano as far as I’m concerned. Preferably one that leads straight to hell. But NOT a beach, because I stepped on a needle at the beach once and — joking, that was a jellyfish . Still hurt though. Not as bad as the time I had to pry my arm out of the jaws of a shark , but I did run into a burning house to save like eight-hundred kittens once. F***ing animal hoarders . Want to know how to make a LEGO syringe? You’re in luck, because LEGO-builder Sean Michael Ragan has already done all the heavy lifting. But not leg-lifting, because he isn’t territorial. Me? Already marked every wall in the new apartment. Hit the jump for blue and radioactive versions, along with the build diagram and a link to Sean’s website (with piece list) and Etsy store (where he sells kits for $20).

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NEEDLE TO THE VEIN!: A LEGO Syringe