Unfortunately the couch feels a lot like the floor and I spilled six beers in a row trying to set them on the coffee table . Did I mention the television only gets The Blinding Channel? It’s my favorite. the london-based art and design practice united visual artist recently presented a series of light installation titled ’speed of light’. the project was commissioned by virgin media to commemorate the tenth anniversary of broadband in the UK. the project was installed in the victorian bargehouse on london’s south bank and made use of 148 lasers spread across six rooms. UVA used the beam of light that travels along optical fibers as the starting point for the piece. among the pieces created, UVA crafted a small sitting area that features a sofa, table and television screen made completely from laser beams. Lasers: I love them. In the future scientists will discover how to trap plasma between bands of lasers and pew pew couches will finally become reality. And on that day, oh boy, on that day . I’ll have been dead for at least 200 years. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the exhibit.

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The Future: Furniture Made Out Of Lasers

The U.S. Special Forces is all set to test the new XM-25 Individual Airburst ‘Smart Gun’ this summer . And you all know what that means : I actually have no idea what that means. The gun fires a 25-millimeter “smart round” that can be detonated at pre-programmed distance, spreading shrapnel in all directions. It uses a rangefinder to figure out how far away a target is, and the operator can manually adjust when the bullet detonates to suit different situations, allowing a soldier to attack entrenched targets around corners and in buildings more effectively. Geez, I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that thing (or a big ol’ johnson). Granted it’s still no match for my laser blaster. Just sayin’, one time I did bring a two-handed great sword to a knife fight.I cut some asshole’s legs off with a single swing. It’s cool, I’m getting used to the wheelchair. Hit the jump for a video demonstration of the PEWs in action.

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Bang Bangs: Military To Test New ‘Smart Gun’

This is an Admiral Ackbar toilet designed by artist Brendon Phillips (the man behind the Mega Man hoodie ). I don’t know about you, but I’d sit on it and do a crossword puzzle. Till my legs fell asleep. Then I’d try to stand and collapse on the bathroom floor, bringing a towel bar down with me. As I frantically mash the button to my Life Alert personal emergency response system and see my life flash before my eyes, I’ll wish I’d shat in Jar Jar’s mouth instead. Brendon’s deviantART Thanks to Brendon, who single-handedly manages to design all the products I’d actually want (now do a sex toy!).

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In A Bathroom Far, Far Away: Ackbar Toilet

Remember the chocolate weaponry we featured awhile ago? Well now the same company is manufacturing weapon soap. Probably from the same molds as the chocolate . I’d still wash my mouth out with it. Also, b-hole. Don’t act like you’ve never lost one of those little seashell soaps up there! The company currently sells handgun, grenade and brass knuckle models and prices range from $10 to $35, with giftsets coming beautifully packaged in authentic gun cases. Wow, can I sell products or what? And by products I mean drugs. Meet me in the frozen food aisle. Hit the jump for a smattering of the offerings and another link to the product site.

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*PEW PEW* All Clean!: Soap Weaponry

I don’t want to ruin the premise of this little video for you but basically the infamous Star Wars word crawl from the beginning of all the movies starts falling to earth and the Enterprise has to come save us. Woops . I’m not good at keeping secrets either. Youtube Thanks to bowzee, who may or may not be Bowser’s feminine brother.

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We’re All Gonna Die!: Star Wars Vs. Star Trek

I don’t know about you, but I shoot to kill. Especially when it comes to protecting my castle (rent-controlled apartment). So I’m gonna have to pass on the Koosh bullets . AND seconds. Really, I’m stuffed. Lightfield has been selling these projectiles to law enforcement agencies and wildlife officials for years. Each round is filled with a soft projectile that resembles a koosh ball. They look like toys, because they’re made by a Chinese toy factory. The best thing about them is that they aren’t likely to kill someone even if they are fired at point blank range. They’re so soft that they’re almost incapable of penetrating the body. Eh. I’m a little hesitant to shoot toys at an intruder only to have them return fire with adult bullets. No, I think I’ll be sticking to my laser blaster, thank you very much. And I’m not just saying that because I accidentally glued it to my arm training for the robot wars, but that’s exactly what happened. A closeup of the projectiles after the jump.

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Home Protection: Kooshball Shotgun Shells

Okay so maybe the asteroid isn’t actually earth bound, but it could be. You see, nobody can agree on how serious a threat the rock poses. I say laser the shit out of it. Then laser all the little pieces. Then blast me in the eyes. If I can’t see the end of the world I don’t wanna see anything! Russia’s space agency chief said Wednesday a spacecraft may be dispatched to knock a large asteroid off course and reduce the chances of earth impact, even though U.S. scientists say such a scenario is unlikely. When the 270-meter (885-foot) asteroid was first discovered in 2004, astronomers estimated its chances of smashing into Earth in its first flyby, in 2029, at 1-in-37. Further studies have ruled out the possibility of an impact in 2029, when the asteroid is expected to come no closer than 18,300 miles (29,450 kilometers) from Earth’s surface, but they indicated a small possibility of a hit on subsequent encounters. NASA had put the chances that Apophis could hit Earth in 2036 as 1-in-45,000. In October, after researchers recalculated the asteroid’s path, the agency changed its estimate to 1-in-250,000. What is this, football? Why do the odds keep changing? Because this shit’s all fun and games until the day the asteroid’s supposed to hit and the odds drop to 1-in-0.5. Then what? We all bone till we burn up, that’s what. *high-five* Going out like the dinosaurs! Russia may send spacecraft to knock away asteroid [yahoonews]

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Russia To Blow Up Earth-Bound Asteroid

Because everybody deserves the right to shoot animals , a 46-year old quadriplegic will now be hunting in New Jersey with the assistance of a mouth -operated 12-gauge shotgun . Jamie Cap, 46, was injured in an accident 30 years ago while playing American football. A head-on tackle resulted in a neck injury that left him a quadriplegic and robbed him of hunting, one of his passions. “I don’t know if there are words,” he said. “I’m so happy. When you find you can do something again after 30 years, you can’t put a price on that. Some people think it’s nothing, but try being paralysed for 30 years and then come talk to me.” For a quadriplegic, firing a shotgun requires help from a companion. In Mr Cap’s case, a friend sets up the contraption, safety on, on Mr Cap’s wheelchair and Mr Cap aims the shotgun by moving the toggle switch with his mouth. Once his partner releases the safety, Mr Cap fires by sipping on the breathing tube. BLAM! *bleeding* Damnit. Jamie. Coke. on. right. US quadriplegic man wins right to go hunting [telegraph] Thanks to Malice, who feels sorry for New Jersey deer, but only because they live in Jersey.

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Pew Pew?: Quadriplegic Man Wins Right To Hunt With Mouth-Operated Shotgun

Who cares about the Death Star , check out those sheep . Baaaaa! Photo [hoshq's deviantART] (nude shots available if you’re a deviantART member) Thanks to TurboRingtail, who swings from trees, FAST.

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Sure, Why Not?: Great Place For A Deathstar

I haven’t decided if the new XM-25 will be a useful weapon against the robotic uprising yet, but I’m leaning towards *pew pew* . Hook me up government , I pay my damn taxes. Well, I did last year anyways. The system is clever enough to detonate its exploding 25mm bullets within 3 feet of their targets, picking off unfortunate foes with uncanny accuracy, even when they’re hiding behind obstacles. After calculating the target’s distance with a laser rangefinder, this lethal weapon sends a radio signal to a chip inside the bullet. That brilliant projectile can precisely measure the distance it’s traveled, exploding at precisely the right distance for maximum killage. Oh shit yeah I need one of these. Maximum killage, that’s what I’m talking about. You here that, Skynet — MAXIMUM KILLAGE. I will ride into battle atop my trusty tyrannosaur steed and pew pew your shit all up. Then, my mount will dine on all the dead Terminators while I reach around him for a job well done. XM-25 rifle shoots tiny laser-targeted smart bombs [dvice]

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XM-25 Shoots Laser Guided Exploding Bullets