This is a video of a dog who can bark ” Batman “. Or maybe it’s “Brittany”. Whatever the case, he sounds like a pig dying and probably breathes loud enough to keep you up at night. This is Teddy Almond Turtle, my mama’s Pug Dog. Ted enjoys baked beans, red capsicum, apples and Bat Man. waaahhhh Teddy Almond Turtle, really? HE IS NEITHER BEAR NOR NUT NOR TEENAGE MUTANT. You’d think being born with a face a mother didn’t hesitate to turn her back on would be disadvantage enough, but nooooooo. Wait — did that say he likes beans, capsicum and apples? God, can you even imagine what that dog’s ass smells like? I can’t but Chloe’s licking her lips about it! Hit it for the video.

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The Pug Who Barked ‘Batman’: Stop Crying Wolf Or He Won’t Come When We Need Him!

Okay so you remember the AT-AT costume Geekologie Reader Robert made his dog last Halloween? And you remember Patrick Boivi’s recent animated short, ‘ AT-AT Day Afternoon ‘? Well Robert recreated the film using his costumed mini-pincher (complete with ventral-mounted laser blaster) and let me tell you: it’s f***ing cute. Reminds me of the time I dressed Chloe as the Death Star until my roommate “that’s no moon”ed her so many times it gave her a complex. Hit it for the cuteness.

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AT-AT Dog Recreates ‘AT-AT Day Afternoon’

Note: MUST WATCH video is after the jump because your head’s gonna explode from the cuteness and I already hosed down the front page once today. This is a short video by Patrick Boivi entitled ‘AT-AT Day Afternoon’. It’s a one-minute documentary showing a typical day in the life of a pet AT-AT . Just watch it, you won’t regret it. And if you do regret it there’s obviously something wrong with you. My guess is an internal parasite. Your skin itches, doesn’t it? Sounds like a worm. Hit it. DO IT NOW (also available in HD).

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Best Thing You’ll See All Day (And Possibly Week): A Day In The Life Of A Pet AT-AT

Always wanted a tiger or panda bear but were worried they’d maul the faces off everyone in the neighborhood? That’s because they would. Thankfully, now you can have your dog dyed to look like one. Because why stop at just chopping off their balls? Hit the jump for several more of the poor bastards.

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Eye Of The Tiger Dog: Chinese Pet Dyeing

This is a video of two enema bags in an airplane doing a nosedive so the dog in the back experiences weightlessness. I can’t tell if he liked it or not, but my guess is no. Dogs, as a rule, like their feet on the ground and their tongues on their privates. And can you blame them? You can’t. But you can blame them if they sleep with you at night and toot in their sleep. DAMMIT CHLOE YOU’RE GIVING ME NIGHTMARES! Hit it for the short video.

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Dogs Love Trucks Planes: Weightless Dog

This is glimpse into Hello Kitty’s anatomy as imagined by artist Jason Freeny, best known for his other anatomical renderings . I thought perhaps the most interesting part of this piece is the fact that Hello has a skull but no brain and teeth but no mouth . WTF!? She’s like one of those blind salamanders that lives its whole life in a dark cave. What are those called? Computer nerds. Yes, them . Jason Freeny’s Website Thanks to liquid Tension, who I’ll take over awkward Tension any day.

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Hello Guts: A Look At Hello Kitty’s Anatomy

Rear Gear Butt Covers ( “No more Mr. Brown Eye” — not even kidding) are little $5 cardboard cutouts that hang from your pet’s tail and cover its butthole. Jesus Christ. Is your pet feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear? I’ve got them covered… Rear Gear is handmade in Portland, OR and offers a cheerful solution to be-rid your favorite pet’s un-manicured back side. Rear Gear comes in many designs including a disco ball, air freshener, heart, flower, biohazard, smiley face, number one ribbon, cupcake, sheriff’s badge, dice, and you can even make yours custom, so there’s a Rear Gear for everyone. Admittedly, I hate an animal’s bare b-hole touching my arm as much as the next guy, but I’m not definitely not hanging a trunk ornament on it. My pet deserves her dignity, damnit. Aaaaand now she’s licking it. NO I DON’T WANT A KISSIE! Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the Etsy sale page.

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I’ve Seen It All Now: Animal B-Hole Covers

You know the new Tony Hawk: Ride game that comes with a skateboard peripheral? This is a dog playing it — and he’s pretty good (except the 360 was obviously FAAAAKE). Which brings up an interesting question — what is it with bulldogs and skateboarding? They love that shit for some reason. If I was a bulldog I would just lay in the sun and lick myself. This Bulldog Is Better at Tony Hawk Than You [gizmodo]

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Old Dog, New Tricks: Dog Playing Tony Hawk

The Humunga Stache is a $12 piece of molded rubber . One side’s a ball , and the other is giant freaking mustache . So when your dog bites the ball, guess what happens! (Hint: you take pictures and post them Facebook with clever captions). Add some low-cost laughs to your frequent frolics with Fido! This shiny black toy is a ball on one end, and a giant cartoon mustache on the other. Dogs naturally pick up the ball…which leaves the outrageously funny mustache sticking out! Dogs also love to hold the ball in their mouth, and shake the mustache back and forth! Not a bad idea. Of course, my dog would just chew up the whole damn thing. You see, she’s a bitch. And, based on those tits in the pic, so is Fido. Animal cruelty! Product Site via Humunga Stache [likecool] Thanks to Niki, whose bitch has a real mustache and moonlights as a carny.

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For The Dapper Dog: Humunga Staches

This pack of stuffed dog toys with giant mouths from Japan are actually functional gadget accessories. Can you guess what they are? Answer is here .

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These are not just ugly stuffed animals