Jason Giddings’ Kickstarter project to develop multi-touch glass keyboards and mice has been fully funded and he expects to have them to market as early as April of next year. You can still donate $250 for a keyboard , $150 for a mouse or $350 for both though. Or you can just ogle the designs and think to yourself how nice it would be to have a keyboard that pubes can’t get stuck between the keys of. Come on — you bathroom laptop users know what I’m talking about! “I’m completely shaven.” Whoa — TMI, bro! Hit the jump for a shot of the mouse and a brief video.

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Glass Multi-Touch Keyboard & Mouse Coming Soon

Makers-of-everything-sucky Brando, realizing that a computer mouse without a 1.5″ digital picture of your cubicle mate’s penis (thanks for that, Tony, really ) is practically useless, have started manufacturing and selling ‘USB Optical Mice with Digital Photo Frames’ for $32. It’s a mouse with a digital photo screen. It’s useless. “NOT TRUE!” Hoho, look who it is — that creepy f*** from Pan’s Labyrinth ! Product Site (go on, your mom will love it!) via Brando Mouse with Digital Photo Frame: for Pictures of Your Palm’s Loved Ones [technabob] Thanks to Eric, who just tapes a different analog photo to his mouse every day.

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What Took You So Long?: Finally, A Computer Mouse With Integrated Digital Picture Frame

Kito Keyboard flip flops are exactly what they sound like. Unless you thought they sounded like actual keyboards you wear on your feet, in which case, okay, maybe I was wrong. Just kidding, I’m never wrong. Sometimes I do moonlight as a Dr. Wong though, but that’s only to sneak into the hospital and steal meds. So yeah, keyboard flip flops . Sure the print will wear off within the first week, but at least the shape of the keys will still be there. That’s something, right? No, it’s not. Not something worth spending money on anyways. But you know what is worth spending money on? Apparently a bunch of shit on eBay when I’m wasted right before bed. Just sayin’, you know how many of those porcelain Precious Moments figurines I’ve had show up at my door? Every. Single. One. Hit the jump for a commercial not in English.

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Typing With Tootsies: Keyboard Flip Flops

Watch — XD > :*I See? I did that in less than five seconds. But hey, maybe some of you folks are slow (don’t think for one second your parents haven’t thought about getting you tested!). Enter the USB keypad that instantly adds two-to-three character emoticons at the touch of a (admittedly fun-looking) button. Alternatively, TAKE THE MILLISECOND TO PUSH THE PROPER KEYS and save a port for something important like one of those little USB-humping dogs. Which — no lie, you should see my laptop right now. You’d swear the bitch is in heat! Emoticon Keypad For Folks That Feel the Need To Use Emoticons [uberreview] Thanks to Creamer, who I’ve put in my coffee after his expiration date before BECAUSE I LIKE TO LIVE DANGEROUS.

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OVERKILL EMOTICON KEYPAD Is OVERKILL

Trying to visit pr0n sites late at night without your girlfriend waking up? HA — GIRLFRIEND! Good one, GW. But maybe you need to silence your hunt-and-pecking cubicle-mate before they drive you to stabbing them with a letter opener (I say do it anyways). Enter the $36 Thanko Keyboard Quiet Cover. Need a quiet keyboard? Thanko’s latest keyboard cover may exactly what you are looking for! Not only reducing the noise, it will also protect your keyboard from the dust or water. Woohoo! Not only does it cut down on noise, it cuts down on Mountain Dew and Cheeto dust. Now that’s something you can’t put a price on! Oh wait — yeah you can, whatever a towel costs. Product Site via Silence your loud typing with this soundproof keyboard cover [dvice]

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Finally!: A Quality Keyboard Silencing Bag

It was only a matter of time: add-ons that turn Wiimotes into sex toys . Why? I don’t know, but the penis one definitely looks like a robot’s pincers . Thanks but no thanks but okay just this once , amirite?! From the Mojowijo website: The device is attached to the accessory port on a Nintendo Wii* remote control. The control is then connected to a bluetooth enabled PC running Mojowijo software. Using Mojowijo’s patent pending Motion2Vibration technology, the device is able to transform the varying motions of the control into appropriate vibration signals and send them to another selected device - in the same room or over the internet. (Wii gaming console NOT required). Essentially turning your Wii remotes into shared, remote controlled vibrators (aka wii vibrator or wiibrator!) Now I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing I find more erotic than knowing the F***ING WIIMOTE ATTACHMENT wrapped around my lifeless wiener is being controlled by a heavyset man hundreds, possibly even thousands of miles away beating his own wiener with a Nintendo controller (in my dreams he’s reclined in a La-Z-Boy with a bag of chips resting on his stomach). Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to take a cold shower. Well technically I don’t need it to be cold, I just never paid the electricity. Who’s the thrift king?! Video explanation of the technology after the jump.

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I, Uh, I Don’t Know If That’s What Nintendo Had In Mind: Wiimote Sex Toys

This is a short video of the keyboard throwing portion of the Soviet Special Olympics. Now I don’t want to ruin it for you, but suffice it to say contestant number three gets disqualified . And not for doping either, although you and I both know he was on the vodkas . I don’t care what they say, alcohol IS a performance enhancing drug. I do everything better when I’ve been drinking, including look handsome. *running fingers through hair* Haha, is this vomit? Hit it for the QWERTY fun.

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Soviet Special Olympics: Keyboard Tossing

Because Japan has infinitely cooler (and 10x perverted ) everything, it was only a matter of time before they beat us to the invention of breasted mouse pads . I don’t know where you get them, and I don’t know why you would get them, all I know is I did get them. Which, fun fact: fondling your mouse pad while talking to coworkers CAN count as sexual harassment. Shocking, I know. (Anybody hiring?) Big Breasted Mousepads [buzzfeed] Thanks to emerica and CEW, who have never been caught in the janitor’s closet with a mouse pad. Yet.

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Keeping It Classy: Large Breasted Mouse Pads

You know the new Tony Hawk: Ride game that comes with a skateboard peripheral? This is a dog playing it — and he’s pretty good (except the 360 was obviously FAAAAKE). Which brings up an interesting question — what is it with bulldogs and skateboarding? They love that shit for some reason. If I was a bulldog I would just lay in the sun and lick myself. This Bulldog Is Better at Tony Hawk Than You [gizmodo]

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Old Dog, New Tricks: Dog Playing Tony Hawk