NICE JEANS, LADY! My mom circa 1984 wants to know where you got ‘em! Holton Rowler (not to be confused with Thurston Howell III) creates paintings by pouring store-brand coffee cups full of paint on top of boxes to create trippy, drippy designs. I’d argue the process is even more beautiful than the final result, not unlike lovemakin’. Just kidding, nobody likes hearing a grown man cry for six-straight minutes. Or do they? They don’t. But even a man clad in a bedsheet wiping his tears away with the last scrap of toilet paper still glued to the tube is beautiful compared to raising a kid for 18-years. 18-YEARS! That’s older than I am emotionally. Huh? Oh good one — AND mentally. *coyly eats booger* Hit the jump to get your trip on (also available in full-HD).

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Sounds Simple!: Painting By Numbers Pouring

Daniel Reese paints shoes . He might paint other things (i.e. the down red) too, but that’s not what I came to talk about today. Today we’re only talking about shoes . Specifically, these Batman kicks. Speaking of which — I bet he does everyday for not banging Cat Woman when he had the chance! And I bet Robin kicks himself for never sneaking a peek at Batman’s wiener when they’re both peeing in the bat-throom. I know, I know, what I just did there was pretty amazing. Anyway, Daniel has a ton of pre-painted shoes available or will customize any pair you want with any design you want. You can check out some other examples after the jump. What you can’t check out after the jump is my ass, because it’s broken out right now and I’m really self conscious about it. Damn you, stress! Hit the jump for a bunch more examples of Daniel’s work and another link to his website.

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The Caped Crapkickers: Batman Sneakers

Remember back in the day when I would post all kinds of custom painted shoes and you were all, “dammit, GW, enough with the stupid painted shoes !”, and I’d be like, “I can’t help it, I’ve been drinking!”. Well I’m back off the metaphorical wagon, baby! And, from the look of things, I’m in a ditch. Don’t roll me over — I might puke. These awesomely cool Nike Vintage Dunks are available in an amazing combination of red, blue and white and with the greatest video game character in history, Mario Available for a price of 89.99 (~$140) these superb looking vintage dunks are designed to bring out the video game lover in you holding true to your personality and at the same time making you feel proud of whom you are. The shoes are actually custom painted by HappyCash Fashion and are currently sold out. I assume because they only painted one pair. And speaking of painting pairs: one time I airbrushed a bushel red to look like apples. Oh man, the laughs I had at the farmer’s market! Product Site via Cool Nike Super Mario Bros Dunks [walyou]

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Custom Super Paper Mario Nike Dunks

This is somebody’s false fingernails that photobucket user nailchick27 painted with a Super Mario Bros. 3 theme. As you can see, they’re good looking . I can’t say for certain I’d date a girl with nails like that (because I wouldn’t), but I would let her give me a back scratch. Harder. Go on, harder. HARDER. DO IT TILL YOU SEE RIBS! Now smoke a rack, I’m getting hungry. Hit the jump for one more shot of the whole set.

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Scratch Meeeeee!: Super Mario Fingernails