Wanna make your own unicorn poop cookies ? WELL YOU ARE IN LUCK MY DISGUSTING FRIEND, because Instructable user Kristylynn84 has just the recipe for you! You’re gonna be shitting magic! Jk jk, diarrhea, but who cares — you tasted the rainbow . Me? I tasted a cow patty because a friend convinced me it was a no-bake. NOW I HAVE WORMS. Hit the jump for a bunch more closeups and a link to Kristy’s Instrutable with even more pictures of the process and step-by-step instructions.

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Finally, A Decent Unicorn Sh*t Cookie Recipe

Because 900-year old Jedi masters can’t survive on Dagobah swamp stew and dragonlizard dicks alone, here’s Yoda in a Japanese advertisement for Nissin Cup Noodles . I’m not really sure what the relationship between Yoda and ramen is supposed to be, but my guess is a sexual one . You suck ass, George! Hit the jump for the great, now I’m hungry.

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Yoda Advertising Ramen Noodles In Japan

This is a Game of Thrones cake made by Kensei Yonzon and Nicole Villar Balaoing. It’s a throne made out of swords made out fondant. You ever tried swallowing a sword before? It’s harder than it looks. Plus you have to be real careful not to drop it because one time at the circus I saw a guy let go when it was only halfway down his gullet and the sharp end came out his butthole. I’ve been trying to drink the memory away but the elephants — they’ll have to live with that for life. Kensei’s Facebook via Let’s Eat This Game of Thrones Cake [obviouswinner] Thanks to khz, who’s never swallowed but has sat on a parking cone naked.

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Sword Swallowing: A Game Of Thrones Cake

What you’re looking at are incredibly thin pieces of lab-grown beef. Pretty appetizing, right? “They look like scabs with little pieces of Band-Aid stuck in them.” Mmmmmmm, scabs . I just had one on my knee that was almost ready for harvest but it came off in the bed and I haven’t been able to find it. Sucks too, it was a thick one. These petri dishes contain thin strips of 100% lab-grown muscle tissue, synthesized from animal stem cells harvested from slaughterhouses. They contain no blood and no fat (hence the weird look), and are “exercised” by being stretched between a couple tabs of Velcro. By piling about 3,000 of these strips together and throwing in some synthesized fat, it’ll be possible (within the year) to create the first ever burger that didn’t come from an animal. Once that has been achieved, we can set about tweaking the meat to look and taste the way we want it to, which shouldn’t be too difficult. So, for all you meat-eaters out there: what do you find more bothersome: knowing that the meat you’re eating came from something that used to have a face… or didn’t? Because I used to know this guy at the Underground Pub in Blacksburg who told me he once infiltrated a top-secret government testing facility where they were growing human organs in human “factories” that didn’t have heads or limbs or anything like that. That shit freaked me out. Plus one time he stood in front of the dart board backwards and made us throw darts at him. $345,000 will buy you a hamburger grown in a petri dish [dvice] Thanks to beebs, who doesn’t eat anything that comes from a lab except cotton balls . Those…aren’t part of the food pyramid.

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First Lab-Grown Burger Coming Soon, $345,000

This is a chunk of pork that’s been pressed into the shape of Babe and sold as a ‘Mini Piglet’. Presumably to remind you you’re eating more than just ground-up assholes. Pork Molded into a Piglet Is Disgusting and/or Awesome [gizmodo] Thanks to Barry, who has a hard time eating things that are staring back at him. Really? *drawing eyes on ice cream sandwich* …You gonna finish that?

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Thanksgivingless: Pork Pressed Into Shape Of Piglets

‘FINISH IT’, get it? Like how it says ‘FINISH HIM!’ in the game ! Speaking of finishing things — you think a parent has ever had to tell a child to finish their pizza the way they do with vegetables? I doubt it, kids will finish some damn pizza . Also: picking their nose after a parent has already told them to stop. Nasty little f***ers. Mortal Kombat Pizza [thatsnerdalicious] Thanks to beebs, who’s agrees if you don’t eat your meat you can’t have any pudding. Wait — was that a sexual euphemism? Dammit, you’re making me look like a pervert, beebs!

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FINISH IT!: A Mortal Kombat Cheese Pizza

This is a recirculating ketchup fountain, not unlike the recirculating nacho cheese fountain we featured that somebody was classy enough to construct for their wedding. Now I know what you’re thinking, “but why couldn’t it be ranch?!” And that’s because you’re fat. Move Over Chocolate Fountain, Ketchup Fountain is the New Fancy [geekosystem] Thanks to chichi, who agrees there’s nothing more beautiful than a pair of Polynesian sauce covered nips. AMEN TO THAT.

Link:
Tomato Turbine: Recirculating Ketchup Fountain

This is a gallery of geeky logos made out of food . They’re called ‘”foogos”, because they’re a combination of “food” and “LEGOS”. Weird, I know. But I’m not here to ask questions, I’m just here to type the first thing that pops in my head and get drunk. Also, please don’t email me telling me foogos is actually a combination of “food” and ” logos ” because you might laugh now but I swear on eventually seeing a tit IRL I’d get at least two people who just stumbled into Geekologie telling me how dumb I am. And I am dumb, just not that dumb. But, as stupid as I am, I more than make up for it in handsome. And by handsome I mean obesity. Got a whole lot of that going on. Now, what was I talking about? “Food.” Ha — of course I was . Hit the jump for a dozen more.

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Gallery Of Geek Logos Made Out Of FOOOOD

It’s not like anybody who’s ever blind taste-tested them alongside Crayolas would need any more evidence, but here’s a photo that helps explain why off-brand crayons suck so bad. Apparently they’re made with…I dunno, people ? Yeah, plus they make me color outside the lines! “No they don’t GW, you just have zero hand-eye coordination.” OMG — ONE MORE WORD AND YOU’RE GONNA GET IT! “Bring it, Captain Uncoordinated!” OH THAT’S IT! *lays myself out with an uppercut* Scientific Proof That Rose Art Crayons Suck [buzzfeed] Thanks to Your Father, who apparently reads Geekologie. OMG — you guys should totally talk about me at the dinner table! “So, how about that Geekologie Writer today?” “Total wanker.” “Agreed, pass the Jell-O salad.”

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Photo Evidence: Why Off-Brand Crayons Suck

Jello wrestling: it’s what bros do. Sure I could have gone with two girls Jello wrestling but then 1. I’d get called sexist and 2. your coworkers wouldn’t think you were reading a gay fraternity sports site, and what’s the fun in that? Now, I assume most of you know this, but gelatin is derived from the boiled collagen from animal skin and bones. Almost half of gelatin production comes from pig skin, with the other half being equal parts boiled bones and bovine hides. Mmmmmm. But now scientists are gonna make that shit from humans. Broken down, it’s just a mixture of peptides and proteins. But it’s still derived from animals, which means there is a risk, however slight, that it could provoke immune system responses in humans or carry infectious diseases. Moreover, animal gelatin can be inconsistent from batch to batch…And it’s not vegetarian. As such, scientists have tried all kinds of ways to create a better gelatin, and they think they may have found it, right here in us. To create the human-derived gelatin, human genes are inserted into yeast strains that are tuned to produce gelatin in specific, controlled ways. That creates for a more consistent gelatin — and also a twinge of nausea. Hey, I’m down. I’ve actually had human before and it’s really not that bad. “You nasty, GW!” *nibbling at scab* Am I? “Yes, as a matter of fact you ar– WTF IS THAT?!” Oh this? Just a little sunburn skin I’ve been saving. Next-Generation Gelatin Could be Derived from Humans Instead of Animals [popsci] via ? J-E-L-L-ewwwwwwww….. ? [zomdroids] Thanks to zombiepartz, who’s been eating humans since before it was cool. F***in’ hipster zombies.

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Jello Gelatin: Soon Made With More Humans