Remember earlier this week when I posted a video of Super Mario Bros. with updated sound effects and you were all like “LAME!” “donkeyballs!” “GW suuuuuuucks”? Well here’s another one created by sound-designer Jake Kaufman with a bunch of other games just to spite you . YOU HEARD ME! My therapist says it’s best to not retaliate when somebody hurts my feelings, but you know what I told him? Nothing, I choked him out with his neck tie and stole a diploma off the wall. *puts feet on desk* The doctor is IN. *packing briefcase* Aaaaaaand back out. Hit the jump for Tetris, Contra, The Legend of Zelda, Pac-Man, Mega Man, Donkey Kong, Breakout, some bicycle game, some Olympic game, and some racing game.

Originally posted here:
More Games With Updated Sound Effects

This is a Nintendo cartridge that’s been stuffed with a breathalizer unit and synced to a homebrew NES game so you can blow into it and find out just how boozy you are. Fun for the whole family! (Except grandma, she’s a mean drunk). DrunkenNES is a for-real NES game lovingly constructed with machine code by Batsly [Adams], music by chiptune artist Kris Keyser and art by Motherboard photographer Emi Spicer. A regular NES cartridge has been loaded with an actual breathalyzer mechanism, which Batsly says he bought from a hardware store. He hacked it into a corded controller that connects to the console just like a normal joystick. After blowing into it for several seconds, the game calculates how slizzered you’ve gotten and awards you with one of several ‘results’ screens like Buzzed Bee and Party Kitten. Best party game ever? Yeah, I’d say so. Very cool. Of course the fact that you’d have to tote a whole NES around pretty much limits its practicality to at-home use only. Which, correct me if I’m wrong, is the one place it doesn’t how drunk you get. Unless you’re one of those drunk-texters, in which case, God, enough with the penis pictures already, I’m on a pay-per-text plan! Just kidding, but do try to consolidate. Hit the jump for a drunk cameraman filming a drunk breathalizer user. Barfy!

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NES 8-Bit Breathalizer Is An Actual Game

Like, for real day — it’s not Photoshopped , it’s all modeling . Which — I’m not gonna lie, those hands are really freaking me out. Reminds me of when I was a kid and used to take the arms off my G.I. Joe’s and swap them. We all did, amirite? Also, replace Sergeant Slaughter’s torso with Scarlett’s. HEY SERGEANT — NICE BEWBS! Haha, what do you mean, “drop and give you 20?” Push-ups or sit-ups? Cause I’ll do at least 30 sit-ups if you bend over and hold my feet. Just a heads up though — a boner: I’m gonna pop one. Possibly two. Picture [fozzybear] via Betty Boop in the real world [superpunch] Thanks to Dingo, who — drop the ‘g’ and you’ve got yourself a date!

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Real Life Retro: Betty Boop As Actual Person

This is a little video of a group of French [edit: French- Canadian ] kids being handed pieces of old technology from the past 30 years and trying to determine what the hell they are. Objects include a Game Boy , old Coleco Vision cartridge, 8-track player, record player, floppy disks of various sizes, and an old rotary phone. I’m not gonna lie, the kids fail pretty hard. Which is weird considering I feel like my generation is at least aware of the technologies of yesteryear. But maybe that’s just me. Or — OR — maybe this is just French-Canadian kids. Just remember, “those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it”. … … F*** YEAH I’M GLAD I SAVED MY BETAMAX PLAYER! Hit the jump for three-and-a-half minutes of poor guessing.

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Kids Guessing The Use Of Old Technologies

Note: Video of the trickery after the jump. This is an image of a boombox created out of cassette tape that only looks like a boombox when viewed from the proper angle . Otherwise it just looks like a bunch of metallic rat turds strewn across a kitchen floor. That said, I watched the whole minute-long video at least four times, and not just because I’m convinced I caught a gimpse of that girl’s underwear when she was getting into position, but I am gonna watch it at least six more times just to makes sure. Hit it for the trickery in action.

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Musical Magic!: Boombox Optical Illusion

Anybody seen my Power Glove ? I can’t perform without my Power Glove on . Whew, found it . Now — I want you to pretend like I’m a game cartridge that won’t play. Two more shots of the “wait — where are you going?!” after the jump.

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I Put On My Robe And Game Genie Hat…

This is one in a series of vintage ads for current websites as imagined by Brazilian advertising agency Moma. Mmmm, I can almost smell the old magazines. the ads were designed for an upcoming media seminar with the overall theme of “what’s new today, is old tomorrow”, so they retro stylized Facebook, Youtube and Skype (and Twitter, not in English). Oh man, I love looking at vintage ads. Especially the underwear ones . There’s no telling what kind of crazy-ass bush is lurking behind those granny panties! Hit the jump for the other three.

Link:
These Tubes Are Old!: Vintage Website Ads

Note: Video is after the jump because I don’t want your crotch to catch fire on the front page. Wait — yes, yes I do. Yes I know what tea-lights are! Does that make me gay? No, lovin’ on another man’s booty would make me gay. Knowing what tea-lights are just makes me appreciative of their romantic , flickering ambiance. I like to light a couple dozen around an aromatic bubble bath and mmmm , what a sensual treat! Then I unrobe and slip into the tub with another man. And THAT’S when things get gay. All I can say is ..this took over 2 weeks to do. A lot of fire, A lot of smoke, a lot of heat, and a whole lot of frustration. Sounds like my sex life. HIYO! No it really does though. Hit it for the fiery video.

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Cool Stop-Motion Video Made With Tea-Lights

First he steals all the copper pipe out of my grandparents’ house, now he’s stealing extra dimensions ! WTF, MARIO?! You have an invincibility star addiction we don’t know about? Haha, what do you mean you’re depressed? It doesn’t have anything to do with me and the Princess’s peach, does it? Oh you didn’t know ab– I SAID I’M GAY FOR TOAD! cezkid’s DeviantART via Retro Mario in 3D flavor [likecool] Thanks to Guilmon_DT, who made a 3-D model of the Princess but wouldn’t share it with anybody because he wants her all to himself. That’s greedy!

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Dammit Mario, Stop Stealing D’s!: Mario In 3-D

Note: Video is after the jump because they’re probably gonna remove it for copyright violation but hey — at least there’s a picture on the front page so you can make-believe what happens. This is a cute cartoon made by a Russian beer-chip manufacturer or something. It features one of the warriors from Contra battling it out in a game of Tetris . Now I don’t want to ruin it for you, but there’s a surprise ending. It makes your computer explode with candy. Kidding, dreams really don’t come true. Hit it for the video.

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There Can Be Only One: Contra Vs. Tetris