Seen here trying to concentrate while Superman is in the background being all, “RAWR, behold my magnificent tits!”, Togepi the cockatiel sings the Super Mario Bros. theme song . I’m not sure if the bird’s caretaker actually taught the bird the song or just played enough Mario that it picked it up on its own, but come on, you and I both know people only teach birds cuss words and fart sounds. Hit the jump for the bideo (bideo is the new bird video fyi).

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Polly Want A Controller?: Birds Sings Mario Theme

If you haven’t already seen this, watch it. It’s a video of a guy riding a mechanical Yoshi trying to collect Mario coins on the side of the street. And, from the look of dude’s coin collecting abilities, it’s fairly obvious he stole the previous 89 from somebody else. Damn, have you ever considered collecting coins with a raccoon tail instead? “I have, I fell out of a tree and broke both arms.” Rough! “You’re telling me — I had to give up coin-collecting because the Mushroom Kingdom refused to make warp pipes handicapped accessible.” Okay now you’re depressing me. Hit the jump for the laughing at other people’s misfortune.

Continued here:
How Not To Collect Mario Coins On A Moped

Another day, another person playing the Imperial March on pieces of obsolete computer equipment (another 3.5″ floppy attempt HERE and a hard drive version HERE ). Admittedly, this is probably the best-sounding one to date. My last date? She sounded like a banshee screaming like someone just cut her off. She actually tried ordering dinner at the restaurant when I was in the restroom pleasuring myself to my own reflection and when I came out everybody had turned to stone. You know what I did? I stole all their wallets. That’s really the only reason I dated her. That and her apartment had hot water and electricity. Hit the jump for the short but sweet video.

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Vader’s Imperial March On 3.5" Floppy Drives

Two men’s skeletons , originally buried around 700AD, were uncovered that had big-ass rocks jammed in their mouths, a practice that was later reserved for vampires . But, since vampire folklore wasn’t prevalent in the area until the 1500’s, archaeologists now believe it was a zombie scare . Gee — great deduction, guys. *MASSIVE F***ING EYEROLL* One of the men was between 40 and 60 years old, and the other was a young adult, probably between 20 and 30 years old. The two men were laid side by side [although buried at different times] and each had a baseball-sized rock shoved in his mouth. “In this case, the stones in the mouth might have acted as a barrier to stop revenants from coming back from their graves,” Read told Discovery News. Right, zombies . Listen, ‘archaeologists’ — are you familiar with the phrase, “the simplest answer is often best?” These two were chatterboxes . Obviously you’ve never lived with a roommate that doesn’t know when to shut their pie-hole. I actually tried making one eat a gym sock before. He did too. Plus my shoelaces. :/ Did Zombies Roam Medieval Ireland? [discovery] via Zombie Remains of the Day [geeks.thedailywh.at] Thanks to Mike, who wants to be buried with a pie in his mouth. SAME.

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Iffy: Two "Zombie" Skeletons Dug Up In Ireland

Two researchers are developing an algorithm designed specifically to ‘de-pixelize’ 8-bit (and 16-bit) video game graphics in real-time into smoother, more flowing ones. This. changes. everything. No, no it doesn’t — but it does change the amount of time I’ll spend playing NES games on an emulator while I’m supposed to be working. *checks to make sure Spy Hunter is still paused in the background* What? I just made it to the boat part! To achieve such beautiful images, the researchers use a complex blend of pixel analysis and spline curves. These approaches in specific, and vectorization of bitmaps in general, are nothing new — Adobe Illustrator does it quite well — but in this case, because the researchers were only working with 8-bit pixel art, they could create a very specialized algorithm. You know what would be even cooler? If there was an algorithm that made 8-bit graphics look photo-realistic . Now that — that’s the future. “But I thought the future was all personal jetpacks and world peace.” HA — keep dreaming, Nostradamus. Hit the jump for a bunch more examples, including one from Doom that didn’t turn out so hot.

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Damn Mario, Lookin’ Good!: Algorithm That Smooths Out Old Video Game Pixelation

Mario videos — everybody loves them, right? “I hate them.” YOU SHUT UP — I HATE YOUR FACE. The first (short) video is of the original Super Mario being played with Portal technology . The second (longer) video is a speed-run of Super Mario 3 with all the music played via “real-time jazz accompaniment”. The third video, which I thankfully caught and deleted prior to posting, was a sessy webcam video of me I didn’t realize I’d recorded. Trust me, leaving it up would brought the entire site down in an intense flash of pure, unbridled sensuality. Oooooooor me digging between couch looking cushions for a snack. Read: I found and ate a furry Gusher. “You nasty.” Still had its juice in it, just sayin’. Hit the jump for the videos.

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Mario Double Feature!: A Mario/Portal Mashup And Mario 3’s Music Played Acoustically

Remember earlier this week when I posted a video of Super Mario Bros. with updated sound effects and you were all like “LAME!” “donkeyballs!” “GW suuuuuuucks”? Well here’s another one created by sound-designer Jake Kaufman with a bunch of other games just to spite you . YOU HEARD ME! My therapist says it’s best to not retaliate when somebody hurts my feelings, but you know what I told him? Nothing, I choked him out with his neck tie and stole a diploma off the wall. *puts feet on desk* The doctor is IN. *packing briefcase* Aaaaaaand back out. Hit the jump for Tetris, Contra, The Legend of Zelda, Pac-Man, Mega Man, Donkey Kong, Breakout, some bicycle game, some Olympic game, and some racing game.

Originally posted here:
More Games With Updated Sound Effects

This is a Nintendo cartridge that’s been stuffed with a breathalizer unit and synced to a homebrew NES game so you can blow into it and find out just how boozy you are. Fun for the whole family! (Except grandma, she’s a mean drunk). DrunkenNES is a for-real NES game lovingly constructed with machine code by Batsly [Adams], music by chiptune artist Kris Keyser and art by Motherboard photographer Emi Spicer. A regular NES cartridge has been loaded with an actual breathalyzer mechanism, which Batsly says he bought from a hardware store. He hacked it into a corded controller that connects to the console just like a normal joystick. After blowing into it for several seconds, the game calculates how slizzered you’ve gotten and awards you with one of several ‘results’ screens like Buzzed Bee and Party Kitten. Best party game ever? Yeah, I’d say so. Very cool. Of course the fact that you’d have to tote a whole NES around pretty much limits its practicality to at-home use only. Which, correct me if I’m wrong, is the one place it doesn’t how drunk you get. Unless you’re one of those drunk-texters, in which case, God, enough with the penis pictures already, I’m on a pay-per-text plan! Just kidding, but do try to consolidate. Hit the jump for a drunk cameraman filming a drunk breathalizer user. Barfy!

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NES 8-Bit Breathalizer Is An Actual Game

Like, for real day — it’s not Photoshopped , it’s all modeling . Which — I’m not gonna lie, those hands are really freaking me out. Reminds me of when I was a kid and used to take the arms off my G.I. Joe’s and swap them. We all did, amirite? Also, replace Sergeant Slaughter’s torso with Scarlett’s. HEY SERGEANT — NICE BEWBS! Haha, what do you mean, “drop and give you 20?” Push-ups or sit-ups? Cause I’ll do at least 30 sit-ups if you bend over and hold my feet. Just a heads up though — a boner: I’m gonna pop one. Possibly two. Picture [fozzybear] via Betty Boop in the real world [superpunch] Thanks to Dingo, who — drop the ‘g’ and you’ve got yourself a date!

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Real Life Retro: Betty Boop As Actual Person

This is a little video of a group of French [edit: French- Canadian ] kids being handed pieces of old technology from the past 30 years and trying to determine what the hell they are. Objects include a Game Boy , old Coleco Vision cartridge, 8-track player, record player, floppy disks of various sizes, and an old rotary phone. I’m not gonna lie, the kids fail pretty hard. Which is weird considering I feel like my generation is at least aware of the technologies of yesteryear. But maybe that’s just me. Or — OR — maybe this is just French-Canadian kids. Just remember, “those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it”. … … F*** YEAH I’M GLAD I SAVED MY BETAMAX PLAYER! Hit the jump for three-and-a-half minutes of poor guessing.

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Kids Guessing The Use Of Old Technologies