Another day, another person playing the Imperial March on pieces of obsolete computer equipment (another 3.5″ floppy attempt HERE and a hard drive version HERE ). Admittedly, this is probably the best-sounding one to date. My last date? She sounded like a banshee screaming like someone just cut her off. She actually tried ordering dinner at the restaurant when I was in the restroom pleasuring myself to my own reflection and when I came out everybody had turned to stone. You know what I did? I stole all their wallets. That’s really the only reason I dated her. That and her apartment had hot water and electricity. Hit the jump for the short but sweet video.

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Vader’s Imperial March On 3.5" Floppy Drives

NOTE: Big-ass version HERE in case you’re in the market for a new wallpaper. Me? I’m in the market eating grapes so I don’t have to pay for them. Eye candy — that’s what I was getting at in the title. “Jesus, we’re not stupid.” Haha! Some of you totally are is the thing. This is a shot taken by the Mars Spirit rover in 2005 of what a sunset looks like on our neighbor to the east west further from the sun. It’s been around (like a hussy!), so maybe you’ve seen it before. That’s cool. What’s NOT cool is racing to the comments to tell me you’ve seen it before (other people haven’t, God!), it’s old, and I suck at my job. That — that’s the kind of talk that hurts a blogger’s feelings. Feelings, LOL! I haven’t felt anything in years. HAVE AT IT YOU FESTERING CHOADS. Sunset on Mars [nasa] (with a lil more info) via Sunset On Mars [buzzfeed] Thanks to Tom, who’s the real one to blame here. Yeah — WTF TOM?!

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Sunset On Mars: Gumdrops For Your Eyeballs

This is a picture of recently discovered Protoanguilla palau , an eel that evolved into its current form around 200 million years ago, at the beginning of the Jurassic period . No word if they remember seeing the elusive Ceratosaurus’ mating ritual , but I’d pay good money if one could describe to me in detail. “You’re sick, GW.” Ha, I know — and I haven’t been taking my medicine. They found that the new species, Protoanguilla palau, had traits that matched those of the earliest eels. Things such as a large head, fused skull bones, and a small number of vertebrae made it a closer match to eels from 100 million years ago than modern eels. The researchers then analyzed the eels’ DNA and found that it dated back to 200 million years ago, near the beginning of the Jurassic period. This was around the time when the supercontinent Pangaea broke into two, and the sea teemed with a variety of life. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Spicy eel rolls. Put a little dollop of wasabi on those things and mmmm mmmm mmmm! “Hey GW — you should really try the blowfish liver.” Haha, nice try buddy — don’t those give you the runs? “Something like that.” Good thing I already have them — bring on the blowfish liver! Living Fossil Eel Found in Palau [thirdage] Thanks to wok, who would not hesitate to stir-fry that mamma-jamma with some water chestnuts and bamboo shoots.

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Dinosaur Era ‘Living Fossil’ Eel Discovered

The Pontiac Deluxe Six “Ghost Car” has an exterior built entirely out of Plexiglass in 1939 for display at the New York World’s Fair so visitors would be all, “WHOA — cars don’t run on wizards?!” But seriously: do they or don’t they? Because one guy told me it was fairies and I called him a dirty liar but now I’m starting to second-guess myself. “It actually is fairies.” DAMMIT! Fully operational, today the Pontiac has 86 miles on its odometer, apparently driven on its white rubber wheels - another show car touch. After making the rounds as a promotional car following the fair, the Pontiac joined the collection at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C., where it remained until 1947. Afterwards, it passed through a long succession of private owners before being purchased by a collector in the early 1980’s. It has been appraised at a price between $275,000 and $475,000, which is about the same amount that GM spent to build it in today’s dollars. Wow, what a great opportunity to own a piece of American history. “American history? That’s not American history — I want Lincoln’s stovepipe hat!” Hoho, I don’t realize I was dealing with such a discriminating collector! Will you settle for a boogie I chiseled out of his nose on Mt Rushmore? Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

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1939 Transparent Pontiac Up For Auction

WARNING: Spider face. Ever wonder what the face of a 49-million year old spider trapped in amber might look like? You’re nasty! God , why can’t you just imagine a naked celebrity or something like a normal person? Your family: you have shamed them, shamed them bad. University of Manchester researchers, working with colleagues in Germany, created the intricate images using X-ray computed tomography to study the remarkable spider, which can barely be seen under the microscope in the old and darkened amber. Writing in the international journal Naturwissenscaften, the scientists showed that the amber fossil — housed in the Berlin Natural History Museum — is a member of a living genus of the Huntsman spiders (Sparassidae), a group of often large, active, free-living spiders that are hardly ever trapped in amber. “The results were surprising,” Penney said. “Computed tomography produced 3D images and movies of astounding quality, which allowed us to compare the finest details of the amber fossil with similar-looking living spiders. Hey, whatever gets me closer to some dinosaur-cloning DNA, I’m down. You think I don’t already have a secluded tropical island ready for my Jurassic Park? Hell no, those things are f***ing expensive! I figured I’d just raise a couple smaller ones my closet and take it from there. Hit the jump for a pretty cool video of the 3-D reconstruction of Charlotte.

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Charlotte’s Great Great Great Grandmother: The Face Of A 49-Million Year Old Spider

Apple software engineer Andrew Carol (woman’s first name for a last name FTW!) went and built a completely functional Antikythera Mechanism out of LEGO . What the hell’s an Antikythera Mechanism? *GW casts copy/paste and goes to toast some Eggos* The Antikythera Mechanism, is, allegedly, the oldest version of a scientific computer. The Greeks, who used to be so clever that they never endured too much of a financial crisis, built it around 100 B.C. Somehow, it disappeared into history’s cracks, until it was unearthed from a shipwreck in 1901. It took imperfect humans another 100 years to work out that its purpose was to mechanically track the bodies that are in outer space in order to anticipate events up there that might affect life down here. Carol used 1,500 Lego Technic parts and 30 days to put together the 110 gears and other pieces of the re-creation. The two wings of Carol’s machine, each with four gearboxes, manage to make the same calculations as the original mechanism. Each gearbox makes one mathematical calculation. It’s funny how they call Andrew by his last name in the article and it makes it sound like he’s a lady. Also, that falsetto of his. But I’m not here to talk about girly-men, I’m here to talk about 2,000-year old gearboxes. Which — if the ancient Greeks could make gearboxes, then they must have had cars . The history books are wrong! THIS. CHANGES. EVERYTHING. But mostly just history books. Hit the jump for a worthwhile video of the device in action.

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2,000-Year Old Computer Recreated In LEGO

Note: Must-see video is after the jump. To celebrate the 600-year anniversary of the Old Town Square astrological clock tower in the center of Prague, the city commissioned a video-mapping (other examples of video mapping HERE and HERE ) stunt spectacular lightshow to blow your f***ing socks off, back on, then off again and catch fire. Just watch it. It’s like magic going off in your eyeballs, if you know what that feels like. No? Well have you ever inhaled a fairy? No? Blown a gnome? Don’t lie! Hit the jump for 10:00 of amazingness. You can skip around, but I wouldn’t if I were you. Bill the man for all ten minutes.

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Just Watch It: Amazing Video-Mapping Project Celebrates Clock Tower’s 600th Anniversary

Seen here using a remarkably small font for a 400-year old, Ivy Bean, the world’s oldest Twitter user, has passed away . Her tweets , and old-lady aroma, will be missed. From the two-story care home where she lived in the northern English city of Bradford, 104-year-old Ivy Bean would tell her nearly 57,000 Twitter followers around the world what she did each day — from eating fish and chips to sitting in the garden. Bean’s online activity drew headlines in recent years because of her age, and she had been called the world’s oldest Twitter user, though that is difficult to verify. She became a member of Facebook at age 102, but she quickly migrated to Twitter because it was easier, she said, and because she could have more followers. She had maxed out her friend limit on Facebook. Earlier this year, Bean tweeted that she had 25,000 pending friend requests. Wait — WHAT?! This ol’ lady had 25,000 Facebook friend requests and I have to sell my ass on the street like a f***ing hotdog vendor to get you to join the Geekologie Facebook page ? WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON’T?! Style and grace? Okay what else? Dentures? Pfft — you think I won’t knock all my teeth out?! Somebody gimme an ice-skate, I’m about to ‘Cast Away’ this shit. R.I.P. Ivy Ivy Bean, ‘world’s oldest Twitter user,’ dead at 104 [cnn] and The Geekologie Facebook Page , WHICH YOU WILL JOIN Thanks to DC_Dewd, who may or may not have cybered with her at some point (he says he did).

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Don’t Cry, Fail Whale: World’s Oldest Twitter User Passes Away At Ripe Old Age Of 104

This is an artist’s rendition (INVENT A TIME MACHINE ALREADY, GOD! ) of Leviathan melvillei , a 12-million year old sperm whale that used to snack on other whales thanks to it’s powerful jaws and foot-long teeth . ZOMG — imagine the damage you could do at In-N-Out with those things! “This is a pretty exciting discovery,” says Erich Fitzgerald, a vertebrate paleontologist at Museum Victoria in Melbourne, Australia. Leviathan represents “one thing we don’t have in the oceans today — a macropredator, a hypercarnivorous whale.” Modern sperm whales feed largely on invertebrates such as giant squid, but have been known to feed on fish and other creatures as well. The extremely robust, deeply-rooted structure of Leviathan’s teeth strongly suggests that the creature fed on large, presumably struggling bony prey like sharks do. The whale was named in honor of Herman Melville, the author of Moby-Dick , which, no lie, was actually based on ancient tales (I’m like thousands of years old) of my white whale. So technically it should be called Leviathan gwmegapeen , but I’ll let it slide. JUST THIS ONCE. Ancient Whale + Killer Shark = Hypercarnivorous Whale [wired] Thanks to Mr Geek, Christian, Matty, Grace, Jennaiii, Divo, and Sam K, who would have trained the whales to be ridden and looted Atlantis.

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Suck It, Kraken!: Giant Whale Eating Whale

I remember seeing this video (the original Japanese commercial for The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past ) a long time ago, and you’re probably gonna yell at me because you sent it to me years ago, but you know what? I’m not gonna let it get to me. You can’t make me feel bad. But you can make me a sandwich. And you know what? YOU’RE GOING TO. Triangle cut, no crust, no pubes. Youtube via Zelda dance [wtfjapanseriously] Thanks to Spikey DaPikey and Dan, who actually perform that dance at clubs and impress all the womens.

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Old: Legend Of Zelda Dance-Fest Commercial