This is Frank & Louie (presumably after Frank & Stein), a 12-year old cat born with two faces and mouths, and three eyes. He just made it into the Guinness Book of World Records for being the longest-lived Janus cat (named after the Roman god of transitions because of the two faces and all). But worry not — there’s no need to shed a trio of tears for the kitty , apparently he’s healthy and happy despite the fact his owner takes him for walks on a leash (oh come on — he’s a cat, lady!). Regardless, I think we can all agree that not only did Frank & Louie just win his way into the record books, but our hearts things to think about to subdue an awkward boner as well. Meow! Hit the jump for a video of two faces I’m not totally convinced yet a mother could love.

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Aww, I Love Ya You Little Freak!: Frank & Louie, The 12-Year Old Two-Faced Cat

Seen here using a remarkably small font for a 400-year old, Ivy Bean, the world’s oldest Twitter user, has passed away . Her tweets , and old-lady aroma, will be missed. From the two-story care home where she lived in the northern English city of Bradford, 104-year-old Ivy Bean would tell her nearly 57,000 Twitter followers around the world what she did each day — from eating fish and chips to sitting in the garden. Bean’s online activity drew headlines in recent years because of her age, and she had been called the world’s oldest Twitter user, though that is difficult to verify. She became a member of Facebook at age 102, but she quickly migrated to Twitter because it was easier, she said, and because she could have more followers. She had maxed out her friend limit on Facebook. Earlier this year, Bean tweeted that she had 25,000 pending friend requests. Wait — WHAT?! This ol’ lady had 25,000 Facebook friend requests and I have to sell my ass on the street like a f***ing hotdog vendor to get you to join the Geekologie Facebook page ? WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON’T?! Style and grace? Okay what else? Dentures? Pfft — you think I won’t knock all my teeth out?! Somebody gimme an ice-skate, I’m about to ‘Cast Away’ this shit. R.I.P. Ivy Ivy Bean, ‘world’s oldest Twitter user,’ dead at 104 [cnn] and The Geekologie Facebook Page , WHICH YOU WILL JOIN Thanks to DC_Dewd, who may or may not have cybered with her at some point (he says he did).

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Don’t Cry, Fail Whale: World’s Oldest Twitter User Passes Away At Ripe Old Age Of 104

Is there anything sexier than a grandma strip-dancin’ ? Yes, every single thing in the world including being compacted to death in the back of a garbage truck. But for the six of you out there that are into crimes against nature , there’s the $115 Cushion-Grip Security Pole Mobility Aid. How about a review? The user needs this device to assist in getting in and out of bed safely. It has a nice cushion grip, is attractive, and easy to install. It is not as sturdy as I would have hoped it would be. It wiggles a bit in the middle and that makes me a bit nervous. But I like a little wiggle in the middle! No, no I don’t either. I like zero wiggles. Still, you’ve got to admit the thought of a grandma seductively gyrating her sloopy ass off the shitter does get you hot and bothered. No? Just cold and throwy uppy? Oh. Product Site Thanks to Eric-tile, who may or may not volunteer at a nursing home.

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Sexy Time!: Stripper Poles For The Elderly

Note: Video (actually just audio) is after the jump because we respect our elders here on the front page. This is an audio recording of somebody’s grandma calling tech support asking how to remove the playable Pac-Man demo that Google put on its homepage for a day celebrating the game’s 25th anniversary (which you can still play HERE ). I love old people, but the call’s actually pretty funny. And by funny I mean sad. Really f***ing sad. Hit it for six minutes of feeling bad for an old lady (plus tech rep).

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Grandma?: Woman Calls Tech Support Over Google’s Pac-Man Game On The Homepage