So it was just announced that LEGO will develop breasts officially licensed Minecraft products after receiving 10,000 votes on the company’s ‘ make it a LEGO reality ‘ site LEGO CUUSOO. *starts petition for prehistoric dino playsets* We’re happy to announce that the Minecraft project on LEGO CUUSOO has passed the LEGO review and we are now developing a concept that celebrates the best aspects of building with the LEGO system and in Minecraft. We can’t wait to show it to you–but it isn’t ready just yet. These things take time, so we appreciate your patience. More details are to come. I mean that’s cool and all, I was just operating under the assumption that all LEGO sets were already Minecraft ones. I mean, look at the one some fan made above. WTF do you want — squarer blocks? There Will Be Official Minecraft Lego Sets [kotaku] Thanks to Kev, whose parents only let him play with DUPLO because he’s a piece eater. Ha, SAME.

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LEGO Developing Official Minecraft Sets

Ever wanted to turn a couple cheap box (aka “crack”) lighters into a little motorcycle? Me neither. But I have wanted to light the weeds with them before — and been successful! But if you are one of those DIY’ers with way too much time (and not penises) on your hands, there are a couple tutorials after the jump of how to put one together. Alternatively, just smash them on the ground and listen to them pop! Or — OR — I dunno, meth or something. Shit, get creative! Hit the jump for picture AND video tutorials if you want to pretend like you’re actually gonna make your own before realizing it’s far too complicated and going back to World of Warcraft .

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How To: Turn Lighters Into A ‘Lil Motorcycle

Apple just released an updated iPod Nano which features a bigger screen, 640 x 480 video recording, voice recording, and FM radio capabilities. As usual, they come in all sorts of fun colors so you can match your media player to your eyes (Chinese girls do not come with green eyes — anybody?!). 8 giggers cost $150 and 16 bangers $180. Is it worth an extra $30 to double your storage? You be the judge. I’ll play the bailiff! Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Good, now where were you last night around 10PM? Because I was peeking in your bedroom window but you weren’t theeeeere! Product Site Thanks to Kamaren, smith and Todd, who still carry record players BECAUSE THEY’RE OLDSCHOOL LIKE THAT. I swear, you guys are so fresh.

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Are We Having Fun Yet?: New iPod Nano Shoots Video, Voice Records, FM Radios

This isn’t the first hands-free umbrella we’ve ever seen, but it does rank right up there with the stupidest (you’re going to get one, aren’t you?). The Shoulderbrella is a $25 flexible dong that attaches to the end of any umbrella so that you can form it around your shoulder for hands-free umbrella usage. Also works with parasols! Unfortunately the Shoulderbrella does NOT work with taste and decency. Or shoulder mounted cannons. Which, okay now I’m thinking about boobs. My God I love those things. Shoulderbrella: Because Holding Your Umbrella Is Haaaarrrd [gizmodo]

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Rain-Free, Hands-Free: The Shoulderbrella

The $200 Solar Power Shower can heat up to 8 liters of water to 140 Fahrenheit in as little as two hours, provided it’s outside in the sun and not in your basement . It’s a lot more sophisticated than a simple camping solar shower, because this one mixes that 140 water with cool water from the garden hose, giving you plenty of toasty warm water at just the right temperature. Impressive, but I don’t really have a need for a solar powered shower. I do, however, have a need for that chick in the picture. Seriously, I’m getting hungry. HIYO! Solar Shower heats water in two hours [dvice]

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Solar Shower Provides Hot Water In 2 Hours

Russian adult film star Anna Morgan (seen above, possibly named after that chick in The Ring) was paid $500,000 to get a tattoo on her natural DD breasts advertising a World of Warcraft gold-selling website. Ah, capitalism. Also, breast advertisement ever . The WoW Gold selling website, MyMMOShop.com has paid Russian porn star Anna Morgan to tattoo their company’s logo and website URL to her breasts. The company feels that her natural dd sized breasts will provide an ample space for the advertisement. Given the number of films porn stars tend to make in a year’s time, the tattoo should be seen many thousands of times. Anna has agreed not to alter the tattoo for at least two years. Wow, I don’t know what to say. This is simultaneously the most brilliant and saddest thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry or try to motorboat my monitor. BWUBWUBWUBWWUB! I chose wisely. Porn Star Paid $500,000 To Tattoo Company URL & Logo To Her DD Breasts [newsguide] Thanks to Troy, who once ran a Snuggie ad on his junk. The rest, is history.

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WoW Gold Farming Website Pays $500K For Tattoo Ad On Adult Film Star’s Ample Chest

Nintendo plans on releasing a black Wii in Japan sometime this summer and, if successful, it will likely be available in other parts of the world soon afterward. Now I know what you’re thinking, and no, it’s not gonna be any bigger than a white Wii. Remember: it’s not the size of your console it’s how you swing the Wiimote . Know what I’m saying? I’m saying I broke a lamp. Ladies? Nintendo Wii is Coming in Black [walyou]

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Yay, Color Choices!: Black Wii To Hit Market

In an attempt to be one of the last tech websites running this announcement (I like turtles), Microsoft has upgraded their search engine (formerly Windows Live Search and MSN Search), and renamed it Bing. As in Bada-Bing, bing cherry, Bing Crosby, Chandler Bing and bing bing, money ain’t a thing. Really? Bing is specifically designed to build on the benefits of today’s search engines but begins to move beyond this experience with a new approach to user experience and intuitive tools to help customers make better decisions, focusing initially on four key vertical areas: making a purchase decision, planning a trip, researching a health condition or finding a local business. Sooooo, Google is still recommended for searching porno? Microsoft Bing Thanks to Teh Awex, Anonymouse and Will, who search the web the old fashioned way, with a Sherlock pipe and magnifying glass.

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Search The Interwebs With Microsoft Bing

It’s hard to top the seven legged spider debacle , but David Thorne took another stab at it when he was notified by his landlord that he is not allowed to have pets in his apartment. David has definitely got some funny stuff in there, but the best part is the last email sent by the landlord. Hit the jump to see the whole series of correspondence. It’s long, but worth it. Like me. Hit it.

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"The Ducks Are Not Mine": David Thorne (The Seven Legged Spider Drawer) Is Back At It

These cassette tape wallets from designbloom are wallets made out of old cassette tapes . Pretty clever, but they cost $43. So if you’ve ever wanted to try making something yourself, now’s your chance. Just make me one. With a Def Leppard tape. Bitchin’? BITCHIN’! cassette wallet [designboom] Thanks to phil, who keeps his money in his socks BECAUSE HE’S OLDSCHOOL.

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Retro Styling: Cassette Tape Wallets