On last week’s Legend of Zelda license plate post I jokingly suggested tipster Macky had an Infiniti and ‘N BEYOND’ custom plate and, not that surprisingly, somebody in Manitoba has one. No word if they have an entire Toy Story playset arranged on their dash, but you and I both know they’d be foolish not to. Thanks to benzo, whose friend allegedly took the picture. Me? I took my neighbor’s newspaper this morning.

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It Exists: Custom Infiniti ‘N BYOND’ License Plate

Microsoft and LucasArts just unveiled a limited edition Star Wars themed XBox/Kinect bundle (available December 31st, 2011, $450) at Comic-con because, hey, people will buy that. What they won’t buy is that you’re a human sent back from the future just because you had a hat embroidered with “Happy New Year 2021″. Disappointing, I know. The hardware includes a custom R2-D2-themed 320 GB Xbox 360 console, which features unique sounds from the Star Wars movies; a white Kinect sensor; and a gold C-3PO-themed Xbox 360 wireless controller. The bundle will also include copies of “Kinect Adventures” and “Kinect Star Wars,” which invites players into the Star Wars universe. The game will allow fans to physically experience Jedi training and wield the Force - and of course a lightsaber - right in their living room through controller-free gameplay. I’m not gonna lie, I have always wanted to wield the Force. Also, a battle axe . But have I? Nooooooooooo, the blacksmith is always, “your arms are too weak” or “you’ll cut your legs off”. Hit the jump for a shot of the shiny C-3PO inspired controller.

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Special Edition Star Wars XBox & Kinect

Japanese cooling foam : it may look like dried shaving cream, but it’s not. It’s cooling foam. It makes you feel cold . Also: telling someone you don’t love them. *shivers* Mmmm — plus it’s cheaper. * admiring new dime-sized nips* Products such as these are not new, but we have seen a boom in demand for them this summer with the idea of “setsuden” (energy saving) becoming more imminent in Japanese people’s everyday lives. Products such as “Hokkyoku Monogatari” (directly translated: Tales of the North Pole) offer a whole new method of cooling down in an interesting way. Not only are they convenient, they can be transformed into anything, ranging from a icy wristwatch to graffiti sprayed onto one’s body. The blue foam feels like a giant ball of confetti and as they squeeze it, the air bubbles expand and then “pop,” releasing a refreshing breeze of cool air. Now, I already know the question on everybody’s mind: but is it edible? Thankfully they sent me a can, so here goes nothing! *PSSSHHHHHHH* Not bad. I’m kidding, I’m kidding! *peels off label* Look — I just took the label off a cooling foam and stuck it on a can of spray cheese! “Yeaaaaah, that says ant and roach killer.” Oh shishi. Hit the jump for a video demo if you’re into that (I am sooooooo into that).

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Beating The Heat (Oooooor Shaking A Can): Japanese Aerosol Cooling Foam

SHAVE THAT NECK HAIR I CAN’T STOP STARING AT IT. Japanese beauty product manufacturers, thoroughly convinced people actually believe something that jiggles can tone and tighten muscles , are back at it, this time with the ‘Facial Lift At Once’. WTF is a Facial Lift At Once? I dunno, but I do know it makes you look you’re blowing a lightbulb! High-five, Uncle Fester — you know what I’m talkin’ about! Just slip the Facial Lift At Once into your mouth once a day for three minutes and you will feel the electric buzzing work on your cheeks, chin, lips, mouth and even nose. The pulsing will come in four different levels of strength and in a complete 360-degree spread, pushing and working on your facial muscles little by little every time. Not only will this give your face a boost “at once”, exercise and training couldn’t be easier than with this gadget. All you do is put on the mouth cover, pop it in your mouth and it does the hard work for you! If only running a marathon could be as easy! Yes, “if only running a marathon could be as easy”. Here’s an idea — how about you actually invent the automatic marathon runner INSTEAD OF A STUPID F***ING MOUTH-VIBRATOR?! Oh I’m sorry, am I making too much sense? “You’re way beyond making sense, GW — you’re makin’ dollas .” Haha, I am, aren’t I? *shaking money-maker* Keep those singles comin’, ladies! Product Site ($99!) via Facial Lift At Once [inewidea] Thanks to Gunslinger, who — you know you’re supposed to actually pull the trigger and not just throw them, right?

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Another Vibrating Japanese Facelift Thingy

Because vampires are so hot right now , two guys decided to create a line of perfume based on the four major human blood types (A, B, AB and O) to sell to ‘Twilight’ fans. Me? I BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES. Ooooooor with bath salts and aromatic candles. What?! I like to unwind! While the Milan-based designers concede that Blood Concept may make some squeamish, they maintain that their perfumes have nothing to do with blood lust. “No splatter, no vampires …” Zuddas said. Not so fast. Merticus, a 32-year-old Atlanta man who self-identifies as a vampire, intends to sample the fragrance line. A founding member of the Atlanta Vampire Alliance and Vampire Community News, Merticus favors O-positive as his drink of choice. As for which scent he’d prefer to wear — or detect on a donor — he’s keeping an open mind. “I find the black cherry, pomegranate and patchouli infusions of B and the raspberry, rose hips, and birch infusions of O equally intriguing,” Merticus said via e-mail. “Hopefully I’ll be able to sample them in the flesh soon.” I’m not gonna lie, Merticus, that was probably the least frightening interview with a vampire (zing!) I’ve ever heard. You wax waaaaaay too poetic about rose hips and birch infusions for me to be scared of you. Know what I’m saying? I’m saying if anybody’s getting bit in a dark alley it’s gonna be you. Then I’m going to trade your fangs to a wizard for a dragon penis! Blood-Inspired Perfume Piques Vampire Curiosity [aolnews] Thanks to Samantha, who used to wear a perfume made with unicorn tears but stopped after finding out they tell the unicorns really sad stories to make them cry.

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Enough With The Vampires: Blood Perfume

Note: Video possibly NSFW on account of gratuitous melon mashing (no, NOT like Gallagher). Although it is just a commercial so it can’t be that bad. This is a 5:00 commercial for a Chinese corset that cinches a woman’s bloobies together with a comical WOOOOOP (but way more laser-y) sound effect. Literally, it’s five-straight minutes of that. Which, depending on how you look at it, is either awesome, or you’re a woman. Allegedly it can smash titties up two whole cup sizes. Impressive! At least until you can’t breathe and pass out. Ooooor poke somebody’s eye out with a nipple. WHICH I’VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF! Hit the jump for five-straight minutes of boob-binding WTFery.

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Chinese Knocker Clamp Corset Commercial

“New technology — quick, how can we use it for sex?” Note: Video after jump is NSFW due to awkward, scantily clad groping. A smut-peddling software company is hard(!) at work developing the first virtual sex games to make use of the XBox Kinect motion-control system. That’s a screenshot of Captain Blurryface Embarrassedtoplay demoing the system there. Oh come on, there’s no shame in virtual-sexin’! Yes, yes there is too. It’s actually all shame. The demo comes from ThriXXX software, a maker of 3D role-playing sex simulation games, which said in a statement today that “the open-sourcing of device drivers for Kinect have enabled the…device to be used directly from connected PCs operating on Windows 7…The Kinect interface provides another exciting interface option for users of the sex simulation software to control the experience in extraordinary new ways. Controller-free is the next generation of game user interfaces, allowing users to use gestures, spoken commands, or objects to control in-game action that creates a completely new sex game activity and magical experience.” “Magical experience”, right. Because there’s nothing more magical than having your roommate come home to you virtual-f***ing the sofa THAT HE PAID FOR. That’s just a good way to get kicked out of an apartment. Also, tearing up the floor to install an indoor pool. Whatever you slumlord, that was about to be a luxury unit. Hit the jump for a sad video demo.

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Of Course: XBox Kinect Virtual Sex Games

Apparently this Hot Wheels Invisible Jet toy began life as an April Fools’ joke but I don’t remember hearing about it because I don’t even know if I remembered to take my vitamins this morning. At any rate, it became a Comic-Con exclusive and suckers lined up to pay $5 for the empty box (it just looks like there’s a plane inside because of the molded plastic packaging), and now the things are selling like hotcakes on eBay. I swear, people will collect anything . Which reminds me. Hello, Japan? I’m in the market for some — how should I put this — orn-way anties-pay . Huh? Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. WORN PANTIES DAMMIT! YOU’VE GOT EM AND I WANT EM! eBay Listings via Hot Wheels Wonder Woman Invisible Jet Now on eBay [uberreview]

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Wonder Woman’s Invisible Jet Toy: All The Rage At Comic-Con, Now On eBay

Did you know they make watermelon chillers? So did I, they’re called sytrofoam coolers filled with ice. But if you insist on being fancy-pants you can drop $230 on this thing. What is this thing? PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR ASS BLOWN AWAY ! (leaving your b-hole standing there confused why his cover just disappeared) Roundly it cools every as for “the cartridge” spring summer Siyuutou, according to season it warms with when OK. With outdoor furthermore showing the feature! As for the day when the summer is hot every in inserting the watermelon “the cartridge” roundly, in the sea bathing GO! Because it is cigar socket correspondence, in the car the [hi] it is to the core doing. And, in cold season as a warm warehouse warehouse large participation! If the can coffee and the tea, the meat [ma] and so on it is in you insert “the cartridge”, warm way it is possible with anytime to receive tastily. And, it can receive the new rice tastily by the fact that also the United States cools at fixed temperature. I have no idea WTF “the cartridge” is, but I want one. It sounds the lovechild of an Allspark and Arc Reactor. And with that kind of power– MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! — the world will be ours. Well technically mine, but I will make you a slave. Product Site via This Is the Watermelon Cooler You Were Looking For [wachovia] Thanks to fffffffffffffffffffffff, who cools watermelons the old fashioned way: liquid nitrogen. Ever shattered a tooth on a melon before? You will.

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Dammit, Why Didn’t I Think Of That?: Futuristic Japanese Watermelon Coolers — On Wheels