Seen here falling for the ol’ fish head on a hook trick, the world’s first documented hybrid shark stares into the camera with a googly eye. Scientists believe the species is humping around in direct response to climate change, which I believe. It’s too f***ing hot in here, I’m gonna bang a hammerhead. “This is evolution in action.” The Australian black-tip is slightly smaller than its common cousin and can only live in tropical waters, but its hybrid offspring have been found 2,000 kilometres down the coast, in cooler seas. It means the Australian black-tip could be adapting to ensure its survival as sea temperatures change because of global warming. “If it hybridises with the common species it can effectively shift its range further south into cooler waters, so the effect of this hybridising is a range expansion,” Morgan said. “It’s enabled a species restricted to the tropics to move into temperate waters.” Wow, could you even imagine if great whites decided they were gonna start humping other sharks? Because that would be f***ing terrifying. But mostly just for the other shark. World-first hybrid shark found off Australia [yahoonews] Thanks to Matt, who agrees a couple more years and those shitty b-movies like Sharktopus and Squidigator aren’t gonna seem so stupid after all.

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Fill The Oceans With Concrete!: Hybrid Sharks Exist

The Flyboard from Zapata Racing is basically a water powered jetpack similar to this one that this guy used to almost eat a dock, except for your feet. So, in summary, exact same thing but strapped to your feet. I guess it’s all a matter of personal taste, are you more of a jet pack or jet boot kind of person? Personally, I couldn’t care less, just as long as it gets me to the moon. “What about a rocket powered buttplug?” Depends — is it impossible to put in backwards? I AIN’T GETTIN’ BURNT LIKE LAST TIME. Hit the jump for a video, including some worthwhile human dolphin action at 0:40.

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The Flyboard: A Water-Powered Jetpack For Your Feet

Because somebody has nothing better to do than build giant LEGO minifigs and dump them in the ocean , 8-foot tall ‘Ego Leonard’ (yes, he has a f***ing name) washed up on a Florida beach yesterday. No word if he was assaulted by any sharks on his trek, but hopefully he at least got to see some mermaid titties. *daydreaming* In my mind their nips look like sand dollars. The Lego man in Florida had his name written on the back of his plastic shirt above the number 8. On the front, the phrase “no real than you are.” Ego Leonard’s website shows that there are more Lego men just like him circumnavigating the globe in order to learn about our world and thoughts. “My name is Ego Leonard and according to you I come from the virtual world. A world that for me represents happiness, solidarity, all green and blossoming, with no rules or limitations. Lately however, my world has been flooded with fortune-hunters and people drunk with power. And many new encounters in the virtual world have triggered my curiosity about your way of life. I am here to discover and learn about your world and thoughts.” Wow, making up some hippy-ass stories for giant LEGO minifigs you dumped in the ocean? That is just… wow . Clearly SOMEBODY needs to find a new damn hobby. Get it? Me — I’ve been collecting boogers! Hit the jump for a video of a guy filming him and talking almost as much nonsense as the minifig itself.

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Stop Polluting Our Oceans!: Another 8-Ft LEGO Minfig Washes Up, This Time In Florida

Inb4 “that looks like a [name some animal]’s penis”. This is a video demonstration of Norway’s new Naval Strike (Magic) Missile. The shakiness made me kinda woozy, but it’s worth checking out if you’ve got the stomach . Me? I’ve got that B-U-T-T-Z. *booty poppin’* The video follows a missile from launch as it flies just over the tops of waves, over an island, and finally through a ship. I’m not sure if civilians are going to be allowed to buy them. The testing for this next-generation anti-ship missile took place off Point Mugu, California in June of this year. According to Konsgberg, the NSM had only 1.5 seconds to acquire and positively ID the ship as its target before striking. The state-of-the-art missile weighs about 400 kg (880 lb) and has a range of 100 nautical miles, both along the coast and in the open ocean. It uses GPS, inertial and terrain reference systems to maintain its bearings. Being a cruise missile, and the only fifth-generation long range precision strike missile in existence, the NSM is capable of flying over land while avoiding obstacles and skimming just above the surface of the ocean to avoid radar detection. The NSM will also make a random high-G-force maneuver in order to confound enemy countermeasures just before it strikes with a 125 kg multi-purpose blast/fragmentation warhead. Hello — Norwegian Navy? This is General Gee Kologie from the US Army’s Antirobotics Division. Huh? What do you mean you’ve never heard of us?! *high-five, hipsters! Jk, jk — don’t touch me* Listen, I need some of these missiles you’ve got. No? Not buying it? What if I told you I’m in middle school and I need one for a science fair project? Hello? HELLO? They hung up on me! “You were talking into a skillet.” I thought it smelled like bacon. Hit the jump for the video. Hit your cubicle-mate for a fight.

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Norway’s New Stealthy Magic Missiles

Neat post about an experimental plastic substitute made from fish scales over at Brian Lam’s ocean-themed blog Scuttlefish . So far art student Erik de Laurens “has made not only goggles, but eye-glass frames, drinking cups, and a wooden table with a fish scale inlay” from fish scales.

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Swim goggles made from fish scales

Johan Huibers, who may or may yes need to stop eating spicy food before bed, had a dream that part of his native Holland flooded . So what did he do — wake up and have a cup of coffee? Hell no — he started construction on a “full-size” replica of Noah’s Ark . I, uh, I would have done the coffee thing. Or — OR — gone back to sleep until I had a good dream. The almost-finished vessel you see pictured above is actually Huibers’ second whack at making an ark of his own. The first was a half-sized replica, though this time the Dutch construction company director decided to go whole hog. It’s even seaworthy, and Huibers plans for his ark to float along the Thames in London ahead of the 2012 Olympics. Though we really have no way of knowing, Biblical scholars peg Noah’s Ark as being somewhere around 300 cubits in length, 50 wide and 30 high. In feet, that translates into a vessel 450 feet long — or about the same as a Romulan Bird-of-Prey — and 75 feet wide and 45 high. Johan’s second ark took three years and $1.6-million of his own dough to complete, but, from the look of it, would only take one un-extinguished cigarette to burn to the waterline . What do you know — I guess Noah really did have good reason for leaving the dinosaurs behind! Get it?! Because their sexy asses be smokin’. Mm mm mmm — just thinkin’ about ‘em makes me feel like I got curry in my penis! Hit the jump for an NBC news report.

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Johan’s Ark: Man Dreams Of Apocalypse, Builds Functional (It Floats) Noah’s Ark Replica

This big . Around 1,300 lbs to be inexact. Plus “its heartbeat can be detected from two miles away and a human can fit in its arteries.” Not only that, I heard their sperm are the size of jet-skis . Just kidding, I’d still ride on one though. MyWhaleWeb (hey mine shoots webs too!) via How Big Is a Blue Whale’s Heart? [geekosystem] Thanks to Melissa, who really loves whales. Like, to the point where she has stickers of them all over her Trapper Keeper. Nice, psycho.

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Wonder How Big A Blue Whale’s Heart Is?

GIANT SQUIDS ARE GIANT. How giant ? Try 8-feet long and 100 pounds of pure, unadulterated (okay, slightly adulterated) killing machine . I’m never going to another (nude) beach again! Millions of killer giant squid are not only devouring vast amounts of fish they have even started attacking humans. Two Mexican fishermen were recently dragged from their boats and chewed so badly that their bodies could not be identified even by their own families. No wonder the giant squid are called “diablos rojos” - red devils. Since 2002, Humboldt giant squid, named after the 18th century German explorer, have been spreading their tentacles to deplete fishing stocks by moving from their traditional tropical hunting grounds off Mexico and laying claim to a vast sweep of the Pacific. Hunting in 1,000-strong packs the giant squid can out-swim and out-think fish. Scientists believe they coordinate attacks by using pigment cells to communicate. See? I told you we should have filled the oceans with concrete. Now we’re all as good as dead. Except me, because my rocketship is near completion and I’m getting the f*** out of here. And by getting the f*** out of here I obviously mean exploding on the launchpad, but whatever, the point is I’m gone. MAN EATING GIANT SQUID DEVOURING FISH STOCKS [express] (I love your jeans!) Thanks to Lauren!, who’s convinced they’re actually aliens from another planet. You know what? I think you’re onto something. Possibly drugs.

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Giant Squids Depleting Fish Populations, Now Turning Their Hungry Tentacles To Humans

BP recently admitted to Photoshopping a picture of their Houston-based oil spill command center to make it seem like the workers there don’t just play Minesweeper and make dead sea turtle jokes all day. Little did they know. You can’t fool the American public. ROFLOL! BP acknowledges it posted on its website an altered photo that exaggerates the activity at its Gulf oil spill command center in Houston. The picture posted over the weekend showed workers monitoring a bank of 10 giant video screens displaying underwater images. Spokesman Scott Dean says Tuesday that two screens were blank in the original picture and a staff photographer used Photoshop software to add images. He says the photographer was showing off his Photoshop skills and there was no ill intent. Damn, Mr. Photoshop! Copying an image from one monitor and pasting it on another? NOW YOU’RE JUST SHOWBOATING. Has Adobe approached you about teaching classes yet? No? Shocking . Kidding, it’s because you blow. BP’s altered photo distorts spill center activity [comcast] and BP moving into Photoshopping? [jcjanderson] Thanks to Lord Tarl and Jim, who Photoshopped a picture of themselves cutting BP’s peener off with a pair of lobster claws. I’ll admit, it’s erotic in a BSDM sorta way.

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BP Photoshops Picture To Make Oil Spill Command Center Look More Command-y

Note: This picture is small and I had to crop it click HERE to see the sadness in depressing high-resolution. This is a shot of a wave crashing in Orange Beach, Alabama . As you can see, it looks like absolute crap, which really got me thinking: there’s probably a lot of whale shit in the ocean , and I should stop drinking beach water. But it’s so salty! Eyewitness: BP oil spill [guardian] Thanks to Uncle Fester, who may or may not have touched Pugsley inappropriately (geez, just look at the guy).

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So Much For Bodysurfing: Alabama Oil Waves