Because humanity is determined to have an apocalypse this year one way or another, scientists have moved the nuclear doomsday clock forward a minute to 11:55. Quick — we should probably make out while there’s still time! “No way, you smell like booze.” Yeah but you’re uuuuugly . “It is five minutes to midnight. Two years ago [when the clock was reversed to 6-minutes to midnight], it appeared that world leaders might address the truly global threats that we face. In many cases, that trend has not continued or been reversed. For that reason, the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists is moving the clock hand one minute closer to midnight, back to its time in 2007.” So yeah, apparently world leaders aren’t addressing global threats and that’s why they moved it forward. Or — OR — was it because the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell got my order wrong and I threatened “to blow this shithole planet up like Alderaan”? I was honking my horn and yelling, people might’ve heard! Doomsday Clock moves 1 minute closer to catastrophe [cnet] Thanks to sam, Patrick88 and Karen, who don’t care when the world ends as long as they get 24 hours notice. Me? Four hours and a stomach full of boner pills.

Read more:
Doomsday Clock Inches A Minute Closer To Midnight

Now this…this is a fancy television. Because nukes don’t pay for themselves no matter how many times you insist you only brought enough cash for your own meal, North Korean operatives (if you can call a person involved in farming MMORPG points 24/7 an ‘operative’) have been infiltrating South Korean MMORPGs, racking up in-game gold/points, then selling them on the black market to fund Kim Jong Il’s nuclear program. LOLWUT?! Teams of farmers work around the clock from a base in Northern China. The Times says they have earned over $6 million for their efforts, over half of which has been delivered to North Korean agents in the captial of Pyongyang. Western sources believe the money generated through these activities is used to help fund North Korea’s nuclear program and Kim Jong-il’s lavish lifestyle Wait a minute — I’M a western source and I never said it was funding a nuclear program, did I? I didn’t. Do you remember what I said it was funding? “Yeah — a secret moonbase or some shit.” Exactly. Thankfully, I’ve seen a similar Bond movie so I know what to do. Report: North Korea’s Kim Jong-il Is Running MMO Gold Farming Racket [gameinformer] Thanks to Matty Veets, who farms and sells WoW gold to fund pizza and beer.

See the rest here:
North Korean Hackers Farming MMORPG ‘Gold’ To Fund Kim Jong Il’s Nuclear Program

Were the cigarettes and fruit punch part of the experiment? 31-year old Sweden native Richard Handl (NOT Dick Grip) was arrested recently after trying to set up a nuclear reactor in his (clearly well-equipped) kitchen lab. Did you hear that, meth? There’s a new illegal lab in town! Police raided Handl’s home in late July and arrested him for possession of radioactive materials. If the court finds him guilty of endangering public health by storing the radioactive elements radium, americium and uranium in his apartment, Handl faces up to two years in prison. Ironically, the law enforcers’ arrival came after Handl addressed a query to Sweden’s Radiation Authority. He did an experiment which involved a small meltdown on his stove followed by a small explosion, and wanted to know if it had been legal. Richard Handl is one of an estimated three dozen nuclear enthusiasts worldwide to have succeeded in carrying out a fission reaction at home. Geez, give the guy a break. He just wanted to split some atoms at home. No harm in that, right? “Tell me you’re joking.” No, I’m NOT joking. I’ve split coconuts in my kitchen to make pia coladas before and they are waaaaaaaaay bigger than atoms. “God you’re dumb.” *sipping tiki drink through krazy straw* Am I? Kitchen nuclear reactor leaves Swede handcuffed [rt] Thanks to Vance and killerabbit, who don’t split anything at home except the heads of their enemies. Jesus, your places must be a mess.

Read the original:
Sweet Lab: Swedish Man Arrested After Trying To Build ‘Nuclear Reactor’ In Kitchen

Greetings from Tokyo! Sean Bonner, who I’ll be meeting in a few days along with the Safecast crew, shares word of a nifty, limited-edition USB gadget to benefit Japan tsunami relief . The tsunami and earthquake have faded from the headlines, but the need for aid is still real. Incubot, in conjunction with partners World Events Productions and CustomUSB, have created a line of Japan Relief customs 2G USB drives : limited edition, fully licensed, and in colors honoring the japanese flag. Packaged in “Ganbari Japan!” custom boxes. 100% of profits go to Japanese Red Cross Society and to Safecast radiation monitoring efforts.

See original here:
Incubot shiroi voltron + shiroi nekobot USB Japan tsunami relief

This is a video documenting the location and country responsible for all 2,053 known nuclear explosions between 1945-1998. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? If you answered, “Jesus, how are we all not dead ?” you are! You know the Ruskies were experimenting with blowing up the earth’s core and destroying the planet, right? Because I didn’t just make that up. It came to me in a dream. The same one where I had sex with a lava monster! Although the map and graphics are almost comically low-res, the minimalist presentation is so effective you can’t look away. Every explosion produces a musical chime, and every time a new nation goes nuclear, it gets a different note. We were particularly struck by the Cold War musical duel between the U.S. and U.S.S.R., as each responds to the other’s nuclear testing, resulting in a darkly impressive light show on the map. Neat idea. So neat I’ve been inspired to make a world map with the chronology of my sexual experiences from 1995-2010. Hold on to your hats, folks, you’re about to see some real fireworks! Idaho, 2004: looked at another man’s wiener while peeing. Hit it for the long-ass video (and a sped-up Youtube version), but feel free to skip around.

Read this article:
Video Shows Location/Country Responsible For All Nuclear Explosions From 1948-1998

There are good ideas and there are great ideas . This is a f***ing terrible one. Nuking the oil leak to cover that shit in rubble and seal it off. Plus birth Godzilla! (which, admittedly, I am for) A plan proposed to detonate a nuke to seal off that troublesome oil well is gaining support with each of BP’s failures. The Russians apparently used the tactic five times between 1966 and 1981. They went four for five. Will it ever happen? According to an anonymous source at the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico — y’know, the guys and gals who created the Bomb in the first place — no. “It’s not going to happen,” continuing on with “Technically, it would be exploring new ground in the midst of a disaster — and you might make it worse.” Listen: I know James Cameron may be some kind of expert on submersibles and underwater filming, but if you’re considering atomic warheads you’re gonna need me on the team . Because I’m an atomic expert. Just sayin’, one time I nuked a hotdog for three minutes before it exploded. Nuking the oil spill, a ‘crazy’ plan that’s gathering steam [dvice]

Original post:
Smart Thinking: Okay Forget James Cameron, Let’s Just Nuke That Oil Spill! (Yes, Seriously)

So apparently Russia has been holding the Miss Atom contest since 2004 and I have yet to be a guest judge. That’s some sauce, Russia . Vodka sauce. Anyways, here is Miss Atom 2009, Yekaterina Bulgakova, who was picked out of the 350 contestants that all work in the Russian nuclear power sector. Nice. Now I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I was hoping for three boobs too. Official Site via Russia selects Nuclear Beauties 2009 [mosnews] Thanks to Void, who slept with like thirty of the contests and now glows in the dark.

Read this article:
Miss Atom 2009: Nuclear Power In My Pants

The world’s strongest laser was unveiled in California last week. It’s not actually a single laser though, it’s 192 individual ones all focused on the same spot. Cheating! It’s going to be used to ensure the US nuclear weapon stockpile is still functional in case Russia starts bitching out. Also, some space shit. The super laser, officially known as the National Ignition Facility, was unveiled Friday before thousands of people at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory. Beginning next year scientists will use the laser for experiments aimed at creating controlled fusion reactions similar to those found in the sun. “More energy will be produced by this ignition process than the amount of laser energy required to start it. This is the long-sought goal of energy gain that has been the goal of fusion researchers for more than half a century,” said NIF director Edward Moses. ‘National Ignition Facility’? That’s the worst name ever. Why wasn’t there a contest to get to name the thing? Because it’ll always be the PEWINATOR to me. Which, haha, is the same thing I named my junk penis. But seriously, don’t stare directly at it. World’s strongest laser unveiled at Calif. lab [sfgate] Thanks to Watch-303, catch22, Luis, Doug, Hunter and Phil, who did stare directly at it and paid the price. $10.

See the original post here:
PEW PEW!: World’s Strongest Laser Unveiled