The Nuke Lamp from Veneridesign looks like an atomic mushroom cloud . But fear not, Vault Boy (I’m playing New Vegas right now), it’s not. It’s just a piece of molded plastic . One that costs $1,500. “WHAT THE SHIT?!” Don’t ask me bro, I didn’t design it — I’m just a guy on the phone with China seeing who’ll manufacture them for me for less than $2. The plastic body of the foot-tall lamp is ridged enough for the lamp to stand upright and the light assembly inside is a separate piece. If anything ever begged for an orange light bulb inside, this is it. Admittedly, an orange lightbulb would look pretty sweet in there, but you know what would look even sweeter? An orange creamsicle A green glowstick . That way, if by some act of God you actually do manage to bring a girl back to your bedroom you can be all, “OMG — shit’s gone nuclear! Quick, I’ll shield you from the radiation with my wiener!” or whatever. Trust me, it’s the best shot you’ve got. “But I was just gonna impress her with my–” Stop right there. If you say anything followed by “collection” I’m gonna have to punch you. One more shot (or should I say drop ) after the jump.

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Looks Explosive: The Mushroom Cloud Lamp

This is a video documenting the location and country responsible for all 2,053 known nuclear explosions between 1945-1998. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? If you answered, “Jesus, how are we all not dead ?” you are! You know the Ruskies were experimenting with blowing up the earth’s core and destroying the planet, right? Because I didn’t just make that up. It came to me in a dream. The same one where I had sex with a lava monster! Although the map and graphics are almost comically low-res, the minimalist presentation is so effective you can’t look away. Every explosion produces a musical chime, and every time a new nation goes nuclear, it gets a different note. We were particularly struck by the Cold War musical duel between the U.S. and U.S.S.R., as each responds to the other’s nuclear testing, resulting in a darkly impressive light show on the map. Neat idea. So neat I’ve been inspired to make a world map with the chronology of my sexual experiences from 1995-2010. Hold on to your hats, folks, you’re about to see some real fireworks! Idaho, 2004: looked at another man’s wiener while peeing. Hit it for the long-ass video (and a sped-up Youtube version), but feel free to skip around.

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Video Shows Location/Country Responsible For All Nuclear Explosions From 1948-1998

There are good ideas and there are great ideas . This is a f***ing terrible one. Nuking the oil leak to cover that shit in rubble and seal it off. Plus birth Godzilla! (which, admittedly, I am for) A plan proposed to detonate a nuke to seal off that troublesome oil well is gaining support with each of BP’s failures. The Russians apparently used the tactic five times between 1966 and 1981. They went four for five. Will it ever happen? According to an anonymous source at the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico — y’know, the guys and gals who created the Bomb in the first place — no. “It’s not going to happen,” continuing on with “Technically, it would be exploring new ground in the midst of a disaster — and you might make it worse.” Listen: I know James Cameron may be some kind of expert on submersibles and underwater filming, but if you’re considering atomic warheads you’re gonna need me on the team . Because I’m an atomic expert. Just sayin’, one time I nuked a hotdog for three minutes before it exploded. Nuking the oil spill, a ‘crazy’ plan that’s gathering steam [dvice]

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Smart Thinking: Okay Forget James Cameron, Let’s Just Nuke That Oil Spill! (Yes, Seriously)