Note: Video after the jump has some NSFW humping sounds, watch it with your ear to the speaker. Ever wonder what kind of conversation might be had if Mario walked in on two koopas making sweet, reptilian love in the secret warp area of World 1-2? This kind. Maybe . Just sayin’, turtles are so slow they probably wouldn’t have even noticed until after Mario was already gone. Also — is it true all female koopas are red and males are green? Because if so I may have had sex with a dude. “You mean a turtle?” No I mean a dude. Hit the jump for the video. Also, for the very NSFW languaged ‘Mario: Frustration’ video because it will always be the best Mario video ever made.

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What If: Mario Caught 2 Koopas Makin’ Love?

Note: Jump probably NSFW on account of cartoon fantasies coming to life. Anime characters: they’re smokin’ hot, amirite? WRONG!! THEY’RE ALL LIKE 12 YOU F***ING SICKOS. “Hello, police? Yeah I’ve got a whole website of perverts here that need your attention. Oh — and bring extra tasers .” *quick, GW, distract them while the cops get here!* Anyway, the anime-themed show took place at Bordello Bar here in LA (per usual) and the characters and shows they’re from are, in this order: Sailor Moon from Sailor Moon, Pikachu from Pokemon, Ichigo Momomiya from Tokyo Mew Mew, Lust from Fullmetal Alchemist, Trixie from Speed Racer and Rei Ayanami from Neon Genesis Evangelion. I posted a couple shots of each after the jump, but you’ll have to head over to LA Weekly to see them all. *WEE-WOO! WEE-WOO! WEE-WOO! WEE-WEE!* HAHA — ENJOY THE CLINK, PERVERTS!

Read more here:
Cartoon Cosplay: An Anime Burlesque Show

Note: Jump is very NSFW and very NOT UNSEEABLE . Textbook definition of cannot be unseen . You have been warned. “Honey, look — it’s Homer !” “Oh my God that’s amazing! The only thing that could possibly make it any better is if it wasn’t my wife doing it. I think we should see other people.” Hit the jump for the very NSFW version ( SPOILER : boobie eyes!).

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Homer’s Completely NSFW Doppelganger

Great, now I want a Code Red. F***ing love that stuff . I’ll even finish a bottle that’s been rolling around in the backseat of my burning-hot car for fours days. You think I’m above that? I’m not above anything. This is the NSFW Workplace Safety Advisory System, it works just like the color-coded Homeland Security Advisory System. I don’t know about you, but I could die happily never seeing a threat over yellow. You? I can tell you’re a deviant. “LET’S CRANK THAT SHIT UP TO PURPLISH-BLACK AND DO THIS!” NSFW Workplace Safety Advisory System [buzzfeed]

See more here:
CODE RED!: The NSFW Safety Advisory Chart

NOTE : Probably NSFW due to lyrics. This is mashup of scenes from Heroes with the song ” Jizz in my Pants ” by the Lonely Island . Whoever made it did a damn good job. Also, there’s a different one after the jump in case this one wasn’t enough for you. But if I’m not enough for you, well, you’ve got problems. After all, I AM the world’s greatest lov…OH OH! *Zzzzzzzzz* Hit the jump for the other one. But not too fast!

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Impressive: Heroes/Lonely Island Mashup