This is the Nokia HumanForm, a nonexistent phone that, despite the name, doesn’t look anything like a person. It’s just a concept by Nokia , presumably because they f***ed up and ordered a bunch of oblong parts from a supplier and plan on passing them off to consumers. I’m on to you, Nokia! No I’m not, that was just a guess. There’s a video after the jump highlighting all of the HumanForm’s futuristic features like gesture interaction, entirely touch-sensitive case, flex controls, electro-tactile “image feeling”, mood recognition, non-verbal communication, and more that’s pretty much it. Plus it’s shaped like a dildo. Seriously, Nokia — a dildo phone? Thanks but no thanks — I’m holding out for a buttplug one. Get it? Because I’m a dude. Hit the jump for the video.

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Nokia’s Wack-Ass Flexible Cell Phone Concept

I have brown eyes . And they’re romantic as f***. Men and women have actually gotten lost in these peepers for days . Kidding, they’re like gazing into two twin @$$holes. And now a California doctor claims he could turn them blue with a quick 20-second cosmetic laser surgery. *starts saving* Sike — I like my eyes just the way they are: brown and so lazy sometimes one doesn’t even open . The laser energy removes the brown pigment, or melanin, from the top layer of the iris, and the blue eye colour emerges over the following two to three weeks. However the procedure - which Dr Homer has developed over 10 years - is irreversible because the brown tissue cannot regenerate. ‘They say the eyes are the windows to the soul,’ he told ktla.com. ‘A blue eye is not opaque, you can see deeply into it, while a brown eye is very opaque. I think there is something very meaningful about this idea of having open windows to the soul.’ No, Dr. Homer, there isn’t anything meaningful about the “idea of having open windows to the soul.” Besides, blue eyes aren’t open windows anyway! Having your eyelids removed is. Doctor claims he can turn brown eyes blue (but he can’t change them back again) [dailymail] Thanks to Robin and alex, who, like me, though this whole article was about b-holes at first.

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Laser Surgery To Turn Brown Eyes Blue

Geekologie Reader and photojournalist with balls at least 5x the international average (and 8x that of Geekologie Readers), David Adams was actually in Libya for the Battle of Sfett Hill (of trunk-tank fame ), and took a bunch more footage of the fighting (and makeshift weapons used). It, uh, really makes me thankful to be sitting in a quiet, florescent-lighted office. This battle took place on 6/6/11. The rebels from Qalaa and Zintan were successful in removing Gaddafi forces from Sffet Hill. The rebels use many makeshift weapons to get the job done. One of the more interesting weapons I’ve heard about, but haven’t seen yet, is a 14.5mm gun with two grad rocket tubes mounted on the side. Also, I had to take a pee break in the middle of the fight. sorry. Video by Colin Summers and David Adams. Colin used a GOPRO mounted on his nikon while I used a canon 7d for video. Not gonna lie, David, I would’ve just pissed my pants. And not because I’m some sort of hardcore photojournalist afraid of missing a moment on film, but because I would’ve just been pissing my pants in fear the entire time. And crying. Lots of crying. HARD. Hit the jump for the holy smokes.

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Libyan Truck-Mounted Tank Cannon: Now With More Truck-Mounted Weapon Friends

All the rage in the GW is enough to destroy half a continent. LED teeth attachments: they glow when you smile and can change colors. Plus they make an electric “buzz” whenever they light up. Alternatively, chew on a glowstick . Which I’ve actually done before when I was rolling (OFL, silly!) and ended up drinking. SPOILER: the green ones DO NOT contain superpowers. The new fashion accessories were originally created as an experiment by two Japanese designers and are now being used in a commercial advertising a winter sale at a Japanese clothing store, Laforet Harajuku. They are quickly becoming a sought after accessory. The LED smiles can easily be affixed to your teeth and glow different colors while you smile. The colors can be changed wirelessly through a computer interface. Mr. Ishibashi and Daito Manabe, the other designer and technologist on the project, are offering workshops in Japan showing people how to build their own LED smiles. So, let me get a head-count — how many of you would wear LED teeth? Zero, really? Well congratulations on not disappointing me for once. Hit the jump for another shot and two videos, one showing them off close-up, and another of a bunch of Japanese schoolgirls wandering around with the things.

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All The Rage In Japan: Light-Up LED Teeth

This is a video of a bunch of Russian dipshits on a precarious looking roof sledding off with a homemade bungee cord (which may or may not be a bunch of soiled bedsheets tied together) attached. I was convinced the stunt would prove to be certain death, but somehow the girl (note: ALWAYS make the girl go first) survived to scream her f***ing face off and smack into a wall . Just kidding, she doesn’t actually hit a wall, but damn if I wasn’t praying she would. “Uh — GW? You shouldn’t really waste prayers on hoping somebody gets hurt.” YEAH? WELL YOU SHOULDN’T REALLY WASTE YOUR BREATH TRYING TO CHANGE THINGS THAT NEVER WILL. Learn to pick your battles, Napoleon! Hit the jump for the WTFery in action.

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Idiot Morons Sled Bungeeing Off Snowy Roof

These are pictures from some couple’s wedding . Whose? Katie and Aaron’s. What’s so special about Katie and Aaron? Their wedding ceremony (link NSFW ) was officiated entirely by iPad . Why? I dunno, maybe they don’t care if it lasts or not. NOW STOP ASKING QUESTIONS. Katie and Aaron got married in the beautiful outdoor setting in Oceanside and can we take a break from the iPad porn and just talk about how AMAZING Katie’s outfit is. She made all of that herself. Geez, what are you, EpisciPadians? Get it?! Like Episcopalians, except you worship Steve Jobs. Don’t eat the Apple, Katie, he’ll kick us out of the garden! Also, don’t ever venture past the tomatoes, I’m growing holy weed back there. Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures from the ceremony, including a MacBook, iPad and iPhone trifecta.

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When Fanboy/Fangirl Unite: An iPad Wedding

Wanna look like Iron Man while you’re riding your motorcycle ? First things first: you’re gonna need a motorcycle . And no, your scooter doesn’t count. You couldn’t even pull off a Tin Man costume riding that deathtrap. The latest motorcycle suit inspired by a comic book movie puts you in Tony Stark’s Iron Man 2 armor — complete with a glowing chest arc reactor — for just $1,100. “We’ve replicated the visual effect of Iron Man’s armor,” said David Pea, owner of UD Replicas, which previously released suits based on The Dark Knight and X2. “From the neck down, every single detail is form-molded leather, and has presented us with a fantastic creative challenge.” “Each Iron Man 2 Motorcycle Suit … incorporates a chest arc reactor made of highly reflective, light-sensitive material that glows when light hits it. The Iron Man 2 Motorcycle Suit also incorporates removable CE-approved body armor; gloves with built-in, antiskid Kevlar in the leather lining of the palms. Yeah, I dunno. As cool as it would be to ride a crotch rocket with an Iron Man suit on, I’m gonna have to pass. You see, Mr. Stark has already promised to show me the new suit he’s been working on. Ready when you are, Tony! Hoho, it’s a birthday suit, I get it! (Keep that crime-fighting penis away from me) Hit the jump for a shot from the rear and a link to the product page if you’re actually this ridiculous.

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Nice, But It Could Still Use A ‘If You Can Read This, War Machine Fell Off’ Patch On The Back: Iron Man 2 Motorcycle Leathers/Costume

The $200,000 WaterCar is the lovechild of a Corvette that fell in love with a cigarette boat. But, like having sex with a mermaid , everyone will tell you it was just a manatee. Get a Corvette engine, rig it up with a Dominator Jet drive, and then strap it into a floating car, and you get the WaterCar Python, the fastest and highest-performing amphibious vehicle in the world. If zipping over the water at a top speed of 60mph doesn’t float your boat, it’ll accelerate on land at a neck-snapping 0-to-60 speed of a mere 4.5 seconds. Call me old fashioned, but I like all my vehicles single-purpose. If it drives on the road, I don’t want it in the ocean or sky. I mean, that’s just more stuff to go wrong. And wrong, my friends, is the opposite of right. And two Wrights made an airplane. ZING! Thanks for that one, dad. Hit the jump for several more shots and a video of the thing in action (worthwhile stuff starts at 0:50).

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Yeah, But Can It Fly?: Amphibious WaterCar Does 60MPH On Both Land And Sea

Nobody should own a $135,000 Goldmund Eidos Reference Blue Blu-ray player. That’s the bottom line . I mean, there are children in Africa who don’t even have Laserdisc players. So how someone could knowingly spend six figures on a Blu-ray player makes me sick. BLAAAAAAH! There, I hope you’re happy now. This 66-pound behemoth has such beautiful design, we’re thinking it would be right at home in an art gallery. But does it make the Blu-ray movies look any better? Only those with golden eyes and ears will know for sure. Those precision spring-loaded legs, a completely isolated power supply and fancy Goldmund Magnetic Damping drives the price up into the stratosphere, along with that ritzy Goldmund name. I’ve never heard of the Goldmund name, so that doesn’t mean anything to me. I guess I’m not an audiophile. Although, admittedly, I did experiment with a girl’s ear once in college, but it just wasn’t my thing (she got an inner-ear infection and dumped me). Hit the jump for one more shot of the ridiculousness.

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Crimes Against Humanity, Alternatively, Why I Decided To Rob You: A $135K Blu-Ray Player

This isn’t the first hands-free umbrella we’ve ever seen, but it does rank right up there with the stupidest (you’re going to get one, aren’t you?). The Shoulderbrella is a $25 flexible dong that attaches to the end of any umbrella so that you can form it around your shoulder for hands-free umbrella usage. Also works with parasols! Unfortunately the Shoulderbrella does NOT work with taste and decency. Or shoulder mounted cannons. Which, okay now I’m thinking about boobs. My God I love those things. Shoulderbrella: Because Holding Your Umbrella Is Haaaarrrd [gizmodo]

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Rain-Free, Hands-Free: The Shoulderbrella