Meat Cards are business cards with your info burnt into them using a 150 watt CO2 laser. They are far superior to card stock for obvious reasons (read: meat and lasers). Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE business cards have two ingredients: MEAT AND LASERS . Unlike other business cards, MEAT CARDS will retain value after the econopocalypse. Hoard and barter your calorie-rich, life-sustaining cards. Mmmm, meat and lasers: definitely two of the finest ingredients on earth. PEW PEW, NOM NOM! Now, blast me in the eye with your laser pointer right as I swallow. What? Don’t judge me. Meatcards Thanks to Chloe and Julian for eating all my cards. No, really, thanks a lot guys.

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Best Business Cards Ever: Meat Cards

This is probably older than the topical gel I found in the back of my medicine cabinet while hunting for my Valtrex multi-vitamins, but that doesn’t affect the cuteness. As you can see, it’s a cat dressed up as Link . Making him the coolest cat ever (besides your own, I’m sure). Granted, he forgot the apostrophe in “I’m” and can’t capitalize to save his last half-heart , but he’s a cat for crying out loud. They’re notoriously poor with grammar. And also, in general. MR. WHISKERS — YOU’RE LATE ON RENT AGAIN! Picture [wtfux] Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who agrees he could only be cuter if he was swinging a wooden sword.

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It’s Dangerous To Go Alone. Take This.