Black Astrum is a London based company that’ll make you $1,500 apiece business cards inlaid with diamonds and gold. Except not really because you have to be INVITED to have the cards made. OH WHAT, MY MONEY ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! Sufian Khawaja, Black Astrum’s concept director says, “We’ve had several enquiries from American celebrities and international businessmen, however our cards are offered by invitation only, reflecting our desire to serve only the most premier individuals”. The cards were originally created as a one-off project for a wealthy Middle Eastern family. Since its exclusively customized to a client’s specifications, the cost of making varies. However, the company states that the average selling price per card is about the 1000 ($1,500), and it is sold in sets of 25, 50 and 100 cards. Yeaaaaaaah , if you’re the kind of person that can drop $150,000 on 100 business cards, do you really NEED business cards? Because if I had that kind of money I’d greet everyone I met with an uppercut. F*** you, I’m rich! Product Site (you’re too poor to click, don’t even bother) via World’s most expensive business card is diamond studded and costs $1500 a pop [luxurylaunches] Thanks to Erin, who agrees if there’s one person who deserves $1,500 business cards, it’s me. I know, right? Maybe the mailman put my invitation in the wrong apartment box.

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You’re Out Of Your Mind: $1,500 Business Cards

Seen here blowing a dapper old man’s mind, a pair of metal Terminator legs go for a stroll on a treadmill without any motors or added power . Magic? No — physics . Okay, magic. “This robot is walking down a slope, and its only source of power is potential energy. It doesn’t use any kind of motor or control, so we think it’s very environmentally friendly.” “The robot has three main parts: thighs, lower legs, and ankles. It’s made of aluminum, and it contains only mechanical components, which have been adjusted so that the robot has the same thigh and leg lengths as a person, and weighs the same.” In a walking test last year, this robot walked continuously for 13 hours, taking 100,000 steps and going 15 km. That achievement has been listed in the Guinness Book of Records. Aaaaaaaaah, it only works downhill — I knew there had to be a catch. Man, that makes it like, way less impressive. I thought we were hot on the heels(!) of a perpetual motion machine, but nooooooooooooo . Hey scientists: you know what else can walk down hills? Wheels . Back me up, caveman. Caveman? *audience screaming* …He’s behind me dragging a woman around by the hair, isn’t he? Hit the jump for two videos, the second of which has human-sized “muscles” added to the legs to make them look even creepier.

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Terminator Legs Walk With No Added Power

Makers-of-everything-sucky Brando, realizing that a computer mouse without a 1.5″ digital picture of your cubicle mate’s penis (thanks for that, Tony, really ) is practically useless, have started manufacturing and selling ‘USB Optical Mice with Digital Photo Frames’ for $32. It’s a mouse with a digital photo screen. It’s useless. “NOT TRUE!” Hoho, look who it is — that creepy f*** from Pan’s Labyrinth ! Product Site (go on, your mom will love it!) via Brando Mouse with Digital Photo Frame: for Pictures of Your Palm’s Loved Ones [technabob] Thanks to Eric, who just tapes a different analog photo to his mouse every day.

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What Took You So Long?: Finally, A Computer Mouse With Integrated Digital Picture Frame

Excuse me if I’m writing this while I puke in my shoes but I mean, c’mon, a guy can only take so much . Chick looks like she’s wearing my shower drain around her neck. The human hair necklace…is made by artist Kerry Howley who wants to “make discarded hair attractive again.” NEWS FLASH, KERRY HOWLEY: I don’t know what 17th century castle dungeon you just crawled out of but discarded hair was never attractive in the first place. “Fingernail clippings?” Go — just go. Hit the jump for three others in case this one wasn’t disgusting enough for you.

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Waaaaaay Too Pubey For Me: Hair Necklaces

Because vampires are so hot right now , two guys decided to create a line of perfume based on the four major human blood types (A, B, AB and O) to sell to ‘Twilight’ fans. Me? I BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES. Ooooooor with bath salts and aromatic candles. What?! I like to unwind! While the Milan-based designers concede that Blood Concept may make some squeamish, they maintain that their perfumes have nothing to do with blood lust. “No splatter, no vampires …” Zuddas said. Not so fast. Merticus, a 32-year-old Atlanta man who self-identifies as a vampire, intends to sample the fragrance line. A founding member of the Atlanta Vampire Alliance and Vampire Community News, Merticus favors O-positive as his drink of choice. As for which scent he’d prefer to wear — or detect on a donor — he’s keeping an open mind. “I find the black cherry, pomegranate and patchouli infusions of B and the raspberry, rose hips, and birch infusions of O equally intriguing,” Merticus said via e-mail. “Hopefully I’ll be able to sample them in the flesh soon.” I’m not gonna lie, Merticus, that was probably the least frightening interview with a vampire (zing!) I’ve ever heard. You wax waaaaaay too poetic about rose hips and birch infusions for me to be scared of you. Know what I’m saying? I’m saying if anybody’s getting bit in a dark alley it’s gonna be you. Then I’m going to trade your fangs to a wizard for a dragon penis! Blood-Inspired Perfume Piques Vampire Curiosity [aolnews] Thanks to Samantha, who used to wear a perfume made with unicorn tears but stopped after finding out they tell the unicorns really sad stories to make them cry.

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Enough With The Vampires: Blood Perfume

This is a video of two enema bags in an airplane doing a nosedive so the dog in the back experiences weightlessness. I can’t tell if he liked it or not, but my guess is no. Dogs, as a rule, like their feet on the ground and their tongues on their privates. And can you blame them? You can’t. But you can blame them if they sleep with you at night and toot in their sleep. DAMMIT CHLOE YOU’RE GIVING ME NIGHTMARES! Hit it for the short video.

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Dogs Love Trucks Planes: Weightless Dog

I don’t know what it is about this guy, but I really wanna throw a handful of change at him. Except not actual change, just a handful of washers. Then while Luke Panhandler there is scurrying around picking them up I’ll steal his lightsaber . Well, provided he hasn’t already pawned it to support his glitterstim habit. Kidding, kidding — that’s what Jedi blow-j’s are for. Flickr Thanks to Cowbell Fever, who, CRANK THAT BELL UP TO 11 AND BREAK OFF THE CLAPPER! Wait, no — better leave the clapper.

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I’d X-Wing A Quarter At Him: Homeless Jedi

Wiiwaa is a new Wii game that comes with a stuffed animal peripheral . Basically you put a Wiimote (NOT YOUR PENIS) in its mouth and then dry hump it from behind like there’s no tomorrow. Because there might not be. Don’t believe me? Hit the jump for a video of Weewoo in action.

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Wii Game With Stuffed Animal Peripheral

There’s nothing I can’t stand more than a screaming child . If I ever have children they’re never gonna scream. Or cry. Or, God willing, know who their father is. I’m a role model! Goodbye N64 Kid, Hello Xbox 360 Kid [gizmodo]

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I Hope It’s Red Ringed Already: Kid Gets XBox For Christmas, Screaming Like A Girl Ensues

I dunno, maybe that’s the way Buzz is gonna look in Toy Story 3 . Michelle Obama channels Catwoman for White House Halloween extravaganza [dailymail] Thanks to Bill, who’s smart enough to recognize Samus when he sees her.

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White House Halloween Captioning Fail