Want an XBox 360 signed by Sarah Palin ? Me neither. But if you still want to go and blow a cool $1.1 million on one, congratulation, you’re an idiot . Also, what’s your home address? The infamous Sarah Palin XBOX 360 was autographed at the governors picnic on July 24, 2009, in Wasilla, Alaska, just two days before her resignation as governor of that state. You can own this 60GB, perfect-condition, one-of-a-kind item before her expected run for president of the United States of America in 2012. When the governors picnic took place, there were hordes of people trying to see her, but I pushed my way through the crowd to the front of the line. When I was in front of Sarah Palin, I told her that I had traveled three days to see her and asked her to sign my Xbox360. She said it was the most extravagant thing she had ever been asked to sign. I shook her hand, removed myself from the crowd, and then I packed up my Xbox360 and headed home. It was one of the greatest thrills of my life to have watched Sarah Palin on CNN, SNL, Youtube, and then to see her right in front of me. What the hell’s the matter with this guy? Reminds me of all the idiots trying to sell Wii’s for $1 million the week before Christmas. Just saying, I wouldn’t even pay that for a console signed by Princess Peach AND Zelda. I would pay that for one signed by The Geekologie Writer though. Contact me for more info. Hit the jump for a picture of Palin signing it.

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It’s On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360

I don’t even know what to say except WTF, HORF and I would totally tape that to my head like a do-rag. Available for $8 on Etsy, this reusable menstrual pad (I can’t believe I’m typing this) is perfect for the Pokmon-loving , environmentally friendly chick with unshaven pits in your life. Not bleach safe or for human consumption. Really?! THEN WHY DID I JUST EAT ONE? Wait, why did I just eat one? My stomach: pump it. The contents: gotta catch ‘em all! Pokmon Menstrual Pad, Yours for Eight Bucks [kotaku] Thanks to Aisha, I think.

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Reusable Pokmon Woman Pad Thingies

Joules is a robot designed to KILL! pedal the back of a tandem bicycle . And I can honestly say I have absolutely no interest in biking down the street getting cornholed by a robot names Joules. He’s the creation of a guy called Chris who, challenged by his son to create an electric tandem that worked via pedal power, more than satisfied the brief. The nuts-and-bolts robot is powered by a PMG-132 electric motor and, unlike most lazy-assed back-end tandem riders, does all the work himself. Yeah but no but no. As much as I do hate pedaling myself, I’d rather walk my bike up a hill than have this jerk do the work for me. You hear that, Lance Failstrong? YOU WILL NEVER PEDAL ME! Hit the jump for a video of the beast in action.

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Um, No: Tandem Robo-Biker Pedals For You

Perky Jerky is beef jerky with caffeine added (via guarana) to help keep you awake and focused on trying to look busy and not like you’re just reading Geekologie. Perky Jerky caffeinated beef jerky is the world’s first performance enhancing meat snack. Put simply, we’ve combined the most tender and flavorful beef jerky, with an extra dose of energy (caffeine, from the Guarana we add) to provide a jerky experience you won’t find anywhere else. Performance enhancing meat snack . I dunno about all that. But if you want to try it, a 2 oz bag will set you back $5. Alternatively, a 2 oz bag of good weed would be like $700. So, yeah, cheaper than good weed. Product Site Thanks to Ryan, Mr. Robbot and Towhee Monster, who get their energy the old fashioned way, directly from the sun . Transform and photosynthesize!

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Beef Jerky: Now With More Caffeine

This is a video of an F-18 Hornet buzzing some guy’s head so close you can taste the jet fuel . Now I’m not saying this thing would kill you if it hit you, but it would certainly mess your hair up. Also, not to brag or nothin’, but one time I let a jet land ON MY FACE. Now who’s the man?! F-18 Hornet Ultra Low High Speed Fly By [todaysbigthing] Thanks to Matt, who once flew a prop-plane through a barn and accidentally hit a chicken.

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Balls Of Steel: F-18 Hornet Buzzes Man’s Head

This isn’t the first hands-free umbrella we’ve ever seen, but it does rank right up there with the stupidest (you’re going to get one, aren’t you?). The Shoulderbrella is a $25 flexible dong that attaches to the end of any umbrella so that you can form it around your shoulder for hands-free umbrella usage. Also works with parasols! Unfortunately the Shoulderbrella does NOT work with taste and decency. Or shoulder mounted cannons. Which, okay now I’m thinking about boobs. My God I love those things. Shoulderbrella: Because Holding Your Umbrella Is Haaaarrrd [gizmodo]

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Rain-Free, Hands-Free: The Shoulderbrella

Product designer Emilio Alarcn designed the Rotgutonix booze detector in order to determine if you’re imbibing the real deal or just some economy swill poured into a nicer bottle. Just dip the Rotgutonix pen into a glass of alcohol (no mixers, please), and let it soak for 20 seconds. The pen’s liquid-crystal display will tell you if you’re about to drink some real whiskey or some nasty rotgut, it’ll tell you. Unfortunately the device can currently only detect the chemical composition of 6 brands of liquor: Johnnie Walker, JB, DYC, Havana Club, Pampero and Brugal….The good news is that makers of the Rotgutonix are working on a future update that should allow it to detect up to 20 different booze profiles. You know, there’s any easy way to get around the need for a Rotgutonix detector. It’s called ALWAYS ORDERING THE CHEAPEST BOOZE POSSIBLE. Any funny switch-o change-o business works out in your favor! Well, provided they’re not just watering the alcohol down. Which, FYI, is grounds to stab a barkeep with a little plastic sword or umbrella. YES I DRINK FRUITY DRINKS, WHAT?! Hit the jump for one more shot.

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Booze Detector Reveals Purity Of Your Drink

This is exactly how you don’t sell a used iPhone on craigslist . If the phone fell in a puddle of urine but didn’t damage the phone YOU DON’T MENTION IT IN THE AD. Trust me, I learned the hard way. Looking to sell a 1 year old Tokyoflash wristwatch. The watch is in perfect working condition. The only problem is I lost it in my girlfriend for 12 days, but I put soap on it and wrapped it in a napkin. No damage to the watch or screen. I still have it. Any takers? You smell it you bought it. Craigslist ad Thanks to pat, who once sold snow to an Eskimo by threatening the poor bastard with a flamethrower.

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Honesty Fail: How Not To Sell A Used iPhone

Want your own miniature bat signal ? Now’s your chance — a limited edition of 500 are being sold for $260 from Entertainment Earth . The miniature replica Bat-Signal features a sturdy metal construction and stands about 12-inches tall. It’s got a built-in cooling fan and can be swiveled and tilted to give you the best shot at making contact with the Dark Knight. Of course, since the light can only project the Bat symbol about 16-feet, don’t expect him to show, unless he happens to live in your bedroom closet. Now I’m not saying you should cut a bat out of black contact paper and slap it on a pre-existing lamp, but, I mean, recession. $4 bat signal: 1, $260 bat signal: 3. Wait a minute — 3? Damn you, style points! desktop bat-signal hails bugs not bats [technabob]

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Own Your Very Own (Miniature) Bat Signal

The Powerloo is an outdoor dog crap flusher that ties into your home plumbing’s sewer line and flushes special biodegradable bags of dog shit down the drain so you don’t step in it while you’re playing badminton with Bubbles and the gang. It costs $1000. The Powerloo: pick it up, flush it down! Pick up your dog waste, hands free and flush it away with the Powerloo. Did that make any sense? Does having a bag over your arm constitute hands free? Because if not, when was the last time you saw a bag of dog shit walk across the lawn and throw itself away? Exactly, that summer you tried PCP. The prosecution rests. Product Site via Powerloo dog toilet won’t teach Fido to flush [dvice]

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Questionable: The Outdoor Dog Crap Flusher