The Top Charming titty jiggler is supposed to grow breasts by vibrating them to stimulate the blood flow or something. I honestly don’t know. What I do know is there’s a 5:00 video after the jump that’s half titty-twitchin’ and half somebody pretending to be a scientist making up a bunch of bullshit about how it actually works. Which, SPOILER: it doesn’t. As a man who tries to play with breasts as much as possible, no amount of shaking will make them grow. Two words: get her pregnant. Kidding, totally not worth it. Hit the jump for 5:12 of boobie-bouncin’ WTFery.

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From B’s To D’s: The Chinese Breast Shaker

I hate myself for even using the term bling bling but I assure you I’ll take it out on my liver in just a little bit. But before the ritualistic alcohol abuse begins, here’s a $60K iPhone case made out of t-rex teeth and meteors . Ironic, don’t you think? Making a phone case out of sexiest beasts that ever lived and the very thing that killed them. Stuart Hughes is back at it again, tricking out iPhones in ridiculously outrageous jewels. His iPhone 4 “HISTORY Edition” is a customization unlike any other we’ve ever seen. The back of the HISTORY Edition iPhone 4 isn’t cut from glass — it’s made from the tooth of a Tyrannosaurus Rex and meteoric stone that’s dated back some 65 million years ago. Hughes is only going to make 10 of these hideous iPhones, with each going for about $62,700. The reason for such a design? Hughes wanted to make something “fierce.” Hey Stewart — mind if I call you Stewie? No? Too bad. Listen Stewie, if you wanted to make something “fierce”, an iPhone IS NOT THE PLATFORM TO BEGIN WITH. I don’t care if you wrap the thing in knives and razor wire, IT WILL NEVER BE FIERCE, only painful to answer. Your iPhone 4 made of glass? Nice, mine is made from a T-Rex’s tooth [dvice] Thanks to Kevin G, blueAlien, tkuper05, Mih0 and frankie, who all have phone cases made with real space technology stripped from alien spaceships that crash-landed here on earth. GTFO!

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Move Over, Platinum And Gold!: Dinosaur Teeth And Meteors — The New Bling Bling

The Zip Bed is a bed designed with zip-up covers. Why? I have no idea . I assume it has something to do with bed bugs. Italian furniture design company Florida has created the perfect bed for those mornings when you just want to grab a coffee and run out the door. All that you have to do is simply get out and zip it up - no more making your bed in the morning. At night, you just unzip it and climb back in. If you like the snugged-up feeling, you can even be “zipped-in.” An Italian furniture company named Florida? Why not Florence ? Also, I could have sworn these were invented forever ago and sold under another name. What were those things called? Oh right, SLEEPING BAGS. Which, fun fact: I used to be so afraid of ghosts raping me at night I would only sleep in a sleeping bag with just my head poking out. It’s true — I would sweat so badly eventually the interior fabric would start to mold. But Capser never got that ass. Bed-making is a breeze, with the Zip Bed [gizmag] Thanks to David and towel monster, who are comfortably sleeping anywhere provided the lights are on and the room is set up in accordance with the laws of feng shui.

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Zip-Bed Never Has To Be Made, Only Zipped

The Conversacube is a make-believe product that prevents stagnant conversation on a date by providing constant suggestions of things to say to the troll your mom set you up with. “Your eyes, they’re just so….far apart.” Lauren McCarthy’s idea seems harmless enough - a gadget that helps people be more sociable. Hell, if this thing was real it’s definitely something you and your date can talk about. It would also have family and kids versions, both of which are equally ridiculous. I’m pretty sure this is a commentary on how reliant people can be on technology and how some people are becoming more used to digital means of socializing than with physical or face-to-face interaction. Because as a serious concept this thing is just sad. Listen: I 100% agree with the commentary that technology is making it more difficult for some people to function in social situations. And that is EXACTLY why I’m opening a school that teaches folks how to be social. It’s gonna be called the ‘Geekologie Writer’s Non-nonprofit Institute for a Personable Society’. Sign up today, space in GW’s NIPS is extremely limited (they’re like the size of dried apricots). Hit the jump for the cube in action on a date.

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Conversacube: Never An Awkward Moment

No, despite what Apple may have convinced their minions, it’s never been cool. ESPECIALLY NOT FOR F***ING CHICKEN WRAPS. But did that stop KFC ? Hell finger-lickin’ no! Strapped for cash but sick and tired of the same old cheap eats? Remix your value menu routine with KFC’s new iTwists - delicious, snack-size wraps packed with KFC’s famous chicken and exciting flavor for only 99! Each iTwist features a 100% all white meat Extra Crispy strip, fresh lettuce, and a blend of 3 cheeses, all wrapped up with a signature sauce in a colorful, flavorful tortilla. Try one of our 2 new iTwists today for only 99 each! Kickin’ Jack - Sundried Tomato Tortilla and Spicy Pepperjack Sauce Sweet n’ Spicy - Cheddar Tortilla and Sweet n’ Spicy Sauce My God that sounds delicious aside, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess KFC’s marketing team is a bunch of out-of-touch iDiots. See what I did there?! Haha, you should be embarrassed for me! Official Site (iTwist currently only available in limited test markets) Thanks to Mark IV, who — what are you, number 16? I’ve never been good at letter numbers.

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Adding An i Is Still Cool?: The KFC iTwist

How bout some Street Fighter II inspired sneakers? No? I’m with ya, I only wear flip-flops too. Besides, you’ve gotta admit the Street Fighter resemblance is subtle at best. They could have at least thrown a hadouken on the side of the Ryus. And, I dunno, maybe some bigass thunder-thighs on the Chun Li’s . Shit, the more I look at them the more I’m convinced they aren’t even Street Fighter. Just wait — I give it three months before they’re selling them as Yo Gabba Gabba . Nike SB Dunk Street Fighter Pack [albotas]

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Kickin’ Ass: Street Fighter Inspired Nikes

We first reported on Kentucky Fried Cruelty’s Double Down sandwich back in August of last year, and I thought it was real then. But apparently not, apparently it’s only getting real on Monday. And for those of you that didn’t know, it’s bacon between two fried chicken “buns,” with special sauce (arguably spunk) and pepperjack cheese . Mmmm, I’m dryheaving already! The sandwich will be available in two forms. The Original Recipe sandwich will set you back about 540 calories, 32g of fat and 1380mg of sodium. The not-as-bad-for-you Grilled Double Down totals 460 calories, 23g of fat and 1430mg of sodium. Well, it doesn’t sound like the worst thing you could eat. But it is up there. Right next to poison and a really jealous bear’s girlfriend out. Which — okay I just puked. KFC’s Bacon Sandwich On Fried Chicken “Bread” Starts Killing People Nationwide April 12 [consumerist] and Official Site Thanks to Lord Tarl, Johnny Freightliner, Allegro, Comfort Eagle, Kenneth, Barak, Josh, Mothera and Broken AC, who are all fighting to be first in line tomorrow. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.

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KFC Double Down Sandwich Drops Monday

I don’t know about you, but I shoot to kill. Especially when it comes to protecting my castle (rent-controlled apartment). So I’m gonna have to pass on the Koosh bullets . AND seconds. Really, I’m stuffed. Lightfield has been selling these projectiles to law enforcement agencies and wildlife officials for years. Each round is filled with a soft projectile that resembles a koosh ball. They look like toys, because they’re made by a Chinese toy factory. The best thing about them is that they aren’t likely to kill someone even if they are fired at point blank range. They’re so soft that they’re almost incapable of penetrating the body. Eh. I’m a little hesitant to shoot toys at an intruder only to have them return fire with adult bullets. No, I think I’ll be sticking to my laser blaster, thank you very much. And I’m not just saying that because I accidentally glued it to my arm training for the robot wars, but that’s exactly what happened. A closeup of the projectiles after the jump.

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Home Protection: Kooshball Shotgun Shells

Want an XBox 360 signed by Sarah Palin ? Me neither. But if you still want to go and blow a cool $1.1 million on one, congratulation, you’re an idiot . Also, what’s your home address? The infamous Sarah Palin XBOX 360 was autographed at the governors picnic on July 24, 2009, in Wasilla, Alaska, just two days before her resignation as governor of that state. You can own this 60GB, perfect-condition, one-of-a-kind item before her expected run for president of the United States of America in 2012. When the governors picnic took place, there were hordes of people trying to see her, but I pushed my way through the crowd to the front of the line. When I was in front of Sarah Palin, I told her that I had traveled three days to see her and asked her to sign my Xbox360. She said it was the most extravagant thing she had ever been asked to sign. I shook her hand, removed myself from the crowd, and then I packed up my Xbox360 and headed home. It was one of the greatest thrills of my life to have watched Sarah Palin on CNN, SNL, Youtube, and then to see her right in front of me. What the hell’s the matter with this guy? Reminds me of all the idiots trying to sell Wii’s for $1 million the week before Christmas. Just saying, I wouldn’t even pay that for a console signed by Princess Peach AND Zelda. I would pay that for one signed by The Geekologie Writer though. Contact me for more info. Hit the jump for a picture of Palin signing it.

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It’s On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360

I don’t even know what to say except WTF, HORF and I would totally tape that to my head like a do-rag. Available for $8 on Etsy, this reusable menstrual pad (I can’t believe I’m typing this) is perfect for the Pokmon-loving , environmentally friendly chick with unshaven pits in your life. Not bleach safe or for human consumption. Really?! THEN WHY DID I JUST EAT ONE? Wait, why did I just eat one? My stomach: pump it. The contents: gotta catch ‘em all! Pokmon Menstrual Pad, Yours for Eight Bucks [kotaku] Thanks to Aisha, I think.

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Reusable Pokmon Woman Pad Thingies