Because real baby actors are annoying to work with (moody, whining, will shit on set), an anonymous soap opera (please don’t say Days of our Lives ) recently had this animatronic robot baby commissioned for use in a scene. Hopefully the one where the couple finds out their baby is a robot and shoots it into the sun. “Like Superman?” No, his parents missed. Hit the jump for the last thing I’d ever want coming out of my vagina.

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Creepy Animatronic Baby Made For Soap Opera

I wasn’t going to post this because it’s just a unicorn mask, but I keep getting the tip and I’m your slave so…unchain me from radiator ? I swear I won’t try to escape. Introducing Archie McPhee’s “magical” unicorn mask . Magical — or creepy as a man in a diaper? Because I don’t see anything coming out of a meeting with somebody wearing this thing but regret. LOTS of it. OMG so we came back from the bar and I think I asked my girlfriend to wear the unicorn mask while we were having sex. Was I too into it? Does she think I’m weird now? WHY IS THE HORN BROWN?! Hit the jump for a full body shot of somebody in pink fur lederhosen modeling the thing.

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Highly Questionable: The "Magical" Unicorn Mask

Your trunk and license plate: they’re doing it wrong. This is a video of some guy crashing his kit-car Cobra at 130MPH on a racetrack . He survived with only minor injuries to a knee and some bruised ribs. Pluuuuuus… “Plus what?” Admit it! “Admit what?” Admit you shit your pants too! “I didn’t though!” *BRAAAAAAAAP, squirt* Oh shi-shi. “What the f***?!” See bro? Everybody does it — now just admit it. Hit the jump for the please keep your arms in the vehicle at all times.

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130-MPH Race Car Crash From The Inside

In case you’ve been living in a cave for the past several months (tell me — on a scale from 1 to 10 how robot-proof is it?), Congress is trying to push some legislation through the system THAT WILL CHANGE THE FACE OF INTERNET AS WE KNOW IT. And not in a good way like to a Brad Pitt or George Clooney face, in a bad way like to Sloth from Goonies . No bueno! Gizmodo has a really nice layman’s terms article explaining the bill and its effects HERE , which is definitely worth a read if you’re not familiar with WTF is going on. Then, after you’re filled with enough rage at the stodgy old gasbags pushing this shit, you can go HERE , HERE or HERE to write your congressperson and tell them you didn’t elect them to side with their ball-tickling cohorts in big business. But don’t say it like that. Try to say it more eloquently. Oooooooor just use one of the form-factor emails. However you do it, please, LET YOUR INTERNET-LOVING VOICE BE HEARD. This is my livelihood we’re talking about!

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We Didn’t Order That!: The Stop Online Piracy Act

inb4 I for one welcome our new picnic ruining overlords. Scientists dabbling in ant genes (me? I only dribble in my Levi’s ) have found a way to turn normal soldier ants into “supersoldiers” with giant f***ing heads and pincers by activating the ancient genetic trait with a special hormone. You know, because that’s exactly we need. Starship Troopers here we come! Authors Dr Rajendhran Rajakumar, from McGill University, Canada, and colleagues wrote: ‘We uncovered an ancestral development potential to produce a novel supersoldier subcaste that has been retained throughout a hyperdiverse ant genus that evolved 35 to 60 million years ago.’ The results suggest that holding on to ancestral development toolkits may play an important role in evolving new physical traits, say the researchers. Well damn, Dr. Rajakumar, you think you could have dumbed that down a little? I’m not exactly the sharpest crayon in the box if you know what I mean. Do you know what I mean? I mean I’m a colored pencil the box didn’t come with one of those sharpeners on the back. Oh great, now I’m melting in the sun. Hit the jump for another shot of the DO NOT WANT.

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Great: Scientists Genetically Modify Giant Mutant Ants

Seen here falling for the ol’ fish head on a hook trick, the world’s first documented hybrid shark stares into the camera with a googly eye. Scientists believe the species is humping around in direct response to climate change, which I believe. It’s too f***ing hot in here, I’m gonna bang a hammerhead. “This is evolution in action.” The Australian black-tip is slightly smaller than its common cousin and can only live in tropical waters, but its hybrid offspring have been found 2,000 kilometres down the coast, in cooler seas. It means the Australian black-tip could be adapting to ensure its survival as sea temperatures change because of global warming. “If it hybridises with the common species it can effectively shift its range further south into cooler waters, so the effect of this hybridising is a range expansion,” Morgan said. “It’s enabled a species restricted to the tropics to move into temperate waters.” Wow, could you even imagine if great whites decided they were gonna start humping other sharks? Because that would be f***ing terrifying. But mostly just for the other shark. World-first hybrid shark found off Australia [yahoonews] Thanks to Matt, who agrees a couple more years and those shitty b-movies like Sharktopus and Squidigator aren’t gonna seem so stupid after all.

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Fill The Oceans With Concrete!: Hybrid Sharks Exist

Note: Picture is of Volkswagen’s 20-story robotic parking garage. A $650-million, 57-story highrise designed by Porsche is going up in Sunny Isles Beach, Florida and will feature a robotic car elevator that takes condo owners directly to their door while still in the vehicle. That…sounds convenient. Convenient and terrifying. I guess that’s the price you pay for not having to carry groceries. Carry groceries, LOL — units are $9-million . After the resident pulls over and switches off the engine, a robotic arm that works much like an automatic plank will scoop up the car and put it into the elevator. Once at the desired floor, the same robotic arm will park the car, leaving the resident nearly in front of his front door. The glass elevators will give residents and their guests unparalleled views of the city or of the ocean during their high-speed ride, expected to last 45 to 90 seconds. The 57-story luxury tower will have 132 units. Smaller units will be allocated two parking spaces and larger ones will have four, with 284 robotic parking spaces in total. There will be three elevators. Residents will be able to see their cars from their living rooms. Can you hear that? It’s my Explorer crying because he’ll never get to experience this. “He’s not crying , he’s leaking oil.” Yeah I call that crying. “Well at least put a flattened piece of cardboard down.” Tissues — I call those tissues. At planned Sunny Isles Beach condo, cars and drivers ride elevator home [miamiherald] Thanks to daniel, who just lands his helicopter on the roof like a normal filthy rich person.

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57-Story Porsche Designed Highrise Features Car Elevator That Drops Both Car And Resident Off At Unit

I actually posted The Deli Garage’s food spraypaint last year , but that was before they were advertising the shit WITH GOLDEN CHICKENS . Which — you think they lay golden eggs? God, where were you on this, McDonalds? Just think: “Strike it rich in taste this fall with our all-new golden nuggets !” That one was free, the rest are gonna cost you….IN McRIBS. The tasteless (both kinds!) paint comes in gold, silver, pink and blue and costs $35 a can. Wait — $35 A CAN?! Craft glitter it is. Hit the jump for a couple more delicious-looking metallic treats and a link to the product page.

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No Longer Just Huffable: Edible Spraypaint

Sexy finger-biting: you give it a bad name. In between getting boned or whatever scenes, p0rn stars Alana Evans and Misti Dawn are apparently hard core gamers . So what are they doing? Opening a website that combines video game reviews, playthroughs and a bunch of other garbo, but with toplessness . Now listen: I love man as much as the next boobs, but this shit sounds lame. ” Um…GW? ” I MEANT WHAT I SAID. Evans came up with the initial idea to combine pornography and game coverage, and invited Dawn to the project straight away. “Misti is probably the most dedicated gamer girl I know, so she was the obvious choice as my partner,” said Evans. The launch date - September 20 - is also no accident: Evans chose the site’s launch date to coincide with the release of Gears of War 3. “I am a huge Gears of War fan,” Evans explained. Gamers will be able to watch and communicate with Evans and Dawn in real-time via Xbox Live and PlayStation Network Call me oldschool, but I like to keep my video games and p0rn separate, you know? It’s like, until we have lifelike virtual reality sex games, why blur the line? “Pfft, what’s the worst that could happen?” HA — obviously you’ve never come home to a roommate masturbating to Resident Evil before. *ahem* Derek! NSFW NSFW PwnedByGirls Official Site NSFW NSFW via Porn Stars Start Topless Gaming Site [escapistmagazine] Thanks to Grant, who agrees the Leisure Suit Larry franchise was the perfect blend of video games and sex.

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P0rn Stars Opening Adult Content Gaming Site

You ever wanted to eat an entire human-sized brain made out of bubble-gum flavored gummi ? God, you must spend a small fortune at the movie snackbar. But now your sickening dream can become reality my soon-to-be diabetic friend, all thanks to Firebox’s (NOT Fire fox’s ) 7-pound, $32 Giant Gummi Brain. That is like *doing math* 7-pounds too many. Know what I’m sayin’? I’m saying one time I mushed four packs of Sour Patch Kid Watermelons into a big ball and washed it down with a Hi-C the size of a kiddy pool. Best movie experience ever? I think so! (I got such an uncontrollable sugar high I tore an entire row of seats out of the ground) Product Site via Full-Size Gummy Human Brain Will Turn You Into a Sugar Zombie [gizmodo] Thanks to Daisy, who brought a human-sized brain made out of Pop-Rocks to a party once and seven people died.

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I’m Puking Already: Live-Size Gummi Brain