Voyager 1, best known for being named after the iffiest series in the Star Trek franchise (I assume), has left our solar system after traveling nearly 11-billion miles, becoming the first man-made object to do so. *standing around* Well?! One of you better be baking a f***ing cake. For the very first time, Voyager’s instruments have also begun to detect gusts of charged particles blowing in the opposite direction, back towards our sun. Where are these particles coming from? Whatever’s out there in the space between the stars. Interstellar space, they call it, and it’s what makes up most of our galaxy… Voyager 1 should have enough fuel and propellant to continue traveling outwards (and sending back data) until at least 2020, by which time it’ll be about 12.5 billion miles from us. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? “About those idiots that drank the Kool-Aid hoping to zoom off in the spaceship behind Hale-Bopp?” Haha, yeah. It would’ve been cooler if they’d shot themselves out of a cannon. Voyager 1 becomes first man-made object to taste galactic space [dvice] Thanks to Jester, who also doubles as the king’s food taster. OMG, you’ve got to try these mashed potatoes — they’re to die for. MWAHA MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

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Don’t Forget To Write: Voyager One Becomes First Man-Made Object To Leave The Solar System

Look at this picture. You know what these guys have in common? They’re all white BUT REALLY, REALLY TAN. Plus astronauts . And now NASA is hiring new ones. Want to apply with me? I need your clean urine . Here — just soak this pair of underwear and I’ll wring it out when they send me into the bathroom with a cup. NASA will recruit its next astronaut class through the federal government’s USAJobs.gov website. The class of 2009 was the first astronaut class to graduate in a new era of space flight following the final mission of the space shuttle. A new fleet of human spacecraft is in development by commercial companies to deliver crews to the International Space Station. NASA also is developing spacecraft to send humans on missions of exploration far away from our planet. These new astronauts will advance research aboard the space station to benefit life on Earth and develop the knowledge and skills needed for longer flights to explore the solar system. Man, I wanna explore the solar system. I keep having these dreams where I’m an astronaut whose nose is itching so I take off my helmet to scratch it and start suffocating. Then I wake up and have like two seconds to wrestle my roommate off me before he finishes smothering me with a pillow. Jesus, Derek, if you’re gonna try to kill me can you at least do it with pants on? I refuse to go out smothered by a naked man. NASA Kicks Off Application Process For New Astronauts [nasa] Thanks to pirhan, who, instead of applying, is gonna get facial reconstructive surgery to look like someone who did get accepted, then knock them out and take their place the day before a mission. I like the way you think.

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Totally Applying: NASA Hiring New Astronauts

Note: Full res-version HERE because your desktop is itching for a new background. Ooooooooooor has porn fleas. This is AN ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPH of Saturn taken from the Cassini spacecraft that’s been orbiting the gas giant for the last seven years. Hard to believe, I know, but I just called NASA and they verified its authenticity. Granted they hung up on me when I started probing(!) about the aliens that live on the dark side of the moon , so it’s hard to say for sure. The robotic Cassini spacecraft now orbiting Saturn drifted in giant planet’s shadow for about 12 hours in 2006 and looked back toward the eclipsed Sun. Cassini saw a view unlike any other. First, the night side of Saturn is seen to be partly lit by light reflected from its own majestic ring system. Next, the rings themselves appear dark when silhouetted against Saturn, but quite bright when viewed away from Saturn, slightly scattering sunlight, in this exaggerated color image. Saturn’s rings light up so much that new rings were discovered, although they are hard to see in the image. Seen in spectacular detail, however, is Saturn’s E ring, the ring created by the newly discovered ice-fountains of the moon Enceladus and the outermost ring visible above. Far in the distance, at the left, just above the bright main rings, is the almost ignorable pale blue dot of Earth. Still hard to believe it’s real, isn’t it? Hey, I’m right here with you. I mean, in spirit. And let me tell you: even in spirit your B.O. is kickin’, son ! It’s called deodorant bro, it comes in sticks and sprays. “What about roll-on?” Okay now roll-on is only for the ladies. Astronomy Picture of the Day, In the Shadow of Saturn [nasa] Thanks to bb, who claims she’s roller-skated around Saturn’s rings like a ladybug around a shirt button. OMG THE IMAGERY!

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Yes, This is An ACTUAL Photograph Of Saturn

Note: The high-res versions of the landing sites are HERE (Apollo 12), HERE (Apollo 14) and HERE (Apollo 17). You know how your grandma is still convinced the moon landing never happened and it was all faked by Hollywood ? She’s a smart lady, I can see where you get it from. This is a series of high-res photos from NASA showing the Apollo 12, 14 and 17 landing sites and the imprints left by humanity there. Granted they were all faked in the Photoshop building at Area 54, but they’re still fun to look at. So yeah, if you don’t like them you should probably consider take a long walk off a short pier into the sea. “Of Tranquility?!” Dude — you should f***ing blog. Hit the jump for a couple videos because videos are worth a thousand pictures or something. At least a hundred.

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You Can Even See The Tire Tracks!: NASA’s High-Res Pictures The Apollo Landing Sites

Note: Full res version HERE and original image prior to the Lunar Orbiter Image Reprocessing Project HERE . This is the photo taken 45-years ago today when Lunar Orbiter 1, tasked with locating a suitable landing zone for the future Apollo missions, turned around and took a picture of earth from the moon . Damn, we’ve come a long way in the last 45 years, haven’t we? No, and we just recently committed to never going back again. And you know what? That’s fine with me. Just don’t get all pissy when you look through your tele-laserscope or whatever and realize the American flag’s been replaced with a Geekologietopia one. HA — like there was ever an American one up there in the first place. Back me up, Grandma. “I wet my pants.” Dammit nana, I told you to stop smoking all my weed! That shit is waaaaaay too strong for a 200-year old. Which reminds me… are you a witch? 45 Years Ago, NASA Took the First Image of Earth from the Moon [geekosystem] Thanks to D. Krauss, who’s been to the moon and claims it’s a lot rockier and a lot less cheesy than you’d think. WELL I AM DISAPPOINT.

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45 Years Ago Today: Earth From The Moon

Well folks, that was that. When Atlantis reached for the stars this morning at 11:29 EST, it marked the last launch of NASA’s 30-year shuttle program. *tearing open a freeze-dried ice cream in remembrance* The breathtaking final launch of the space shuttle Atlantis was captured in an incredible photo snapped from an airborne training aircraft NASA uses to teach astronauts how to fly the winged spaceship [but will now be strictly for joyriding] The flight is the final voyage of NASA’s space shuttle program. “Jesus, GW — are you f***ing CRYING?” *sniff* You wouldn’t understand — I went to Space Camp TWICE. Striking NASA Photo Shows Last Shuttle Launch From Above [space] Thanks to Kevin, slayer and Julie, who encourage you all to reach for the stars. Even if you don’t make it, you might melt a couple fingers off and be able to collect disability. OH COME ON — WTF, GUYS?! Hang out with me in my spaceship on Facebook and Twitter

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That’s All She Wrote: The Last Shuttle Launch

Note: Much larger version HERE in case you’re looking for an out-of-this-world (but not solar system) wallpaper. This is allegedly a real picture (although I have my doubts — NASA ) of a massive storm on Saturn that has wrapped around the entire planet and caught up with its tail (the fainter discoloration below the brighter one). Impressive, but my dog does that shit all the time . Plus hock up unchewed kibble on the carpet. Given Saturn’s diameter of about 120,000 km (72,000 miles) and the latitude of the storm (call it 45), this monster system must be well over 300,000 km (180,000 miles) in length! That’s three-quarters of the way from the Earth to the Moon. Crazy. But equally crazy: how the photo was shot dead-on with Saturn’s rings so they only appear as a line. Now that’s nuts. And not little ones like pistachios either, I’m talking some bigass ones — like coconuts . “You’re so dumb GW, coconuts aren’t even nuts — the Coco de Mer is actually the world’s largest botanical nut and can weigh over 60-pounds.” Hoho — sounds like we’ve got a nut-lover in the audience! *teabag, teabag* BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. A storm wraps around Saturn [badastronomy] Thanks to Julian, who’s particularly fond of space because that’s where cheese comes from. Yeaaaaaaaaah, I’m not sure who told you that, Julian, but they are 100% correct! (It was probably me)

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Storm On Saturn Wraps Around Entire Planet

Space isn’t actually colorless , I just made that up so people who only read the headline go spread misinformation and hopefully lose bets. But for the rest of you, nothing but the facts . My penis could feed an entire village for 18 months. Plus NASA uses Photoshop to manipulate shots from the Hubble Space Telescope to make us think space is actually cooler than it really is (SPOILER: I’ve been there, it’s a shit-ton of nothing). This time lapse shows how the image of NGC 3982–a spiral galaxy 68 million light-years from Earth, in the Ursa Major constellation–was made using seven grayscale images captured using three of Hubble cameras. The processing job took 10 hours of scaling, rotating, aligning, color processing and missing pixels and artifacts restoration. Scientists have to choose how to represent this information in a way that we can observe directly. Sometimes they will use a natural representation , which is very close to what we would see if we zoomed there inside the Enterprise. Other times they will choose representative color , which helps them see invisible features of the object–like those that can only be captured in infrared or ultraviolet light. And sometimes they show the image in enhanced color , a hyperrealist mode that brings a lot of hidden, subtle details. There’s 10-hours of edting packed into a 2-minute video after the jump, that talks you through the process. Basically the style of Photoshoppery depends on a particular photo’s intended use. Which, to the best of my knowledge, ranges from ‘look cool’ to ‘look really trippy’. Unfortunately, for those of you who were hoping for some insight, there was little talk of how they faked the moon landing, but my guess is in a giant underwater tank. “Like…the kind with a cannon?” *kicks you in the nuts so hard you cry sperm* Hit the jump for the informative video.

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Because Space Is Actually Colorless: How NASA Uses Photoshop TO CREATE LIES

Two nutjob astrophysicists are claiming a planet 4x the size of Jupiter (the current largest planet in the solar system) might be hiding in the Oort Cloud, a massive (1-light year in circumference) cloud of comets and fart particulate outside Pluto’s orbit. Its orbit would be thousands of times further from the Sun than the Earth’s - which could explain why it has so far remained undiscovered. Data which could prove the existence of Tyche, a gas giant in the outer Oort Cloud, is set to be released later this year - although some believe proof has already been garnered by Nasa with its [s]pace telescope, Wise, and is waiting to be pored over. Prof Daniel Whitmire from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette believes the data may prove Tyche’s existence within two years. He told the Independent: ‘If it does, [fellow astrophysicist Prof John Matese] and I will be doing cartwheels. And that’s not easy at our age.’He added he believes it will mainly be made of hydrogen and helium, with an atmosphere like Jupiter’s, with spots and rings and clouds, adding: ‘You’d also expect it to have moons. All the outer planets have them.’ First of all, I’m sure there are a bunch more planets in our solar system, AND PROBABLY MORE THAN A COUPLE ALIEN WIENERS. Secondly, I’m tired of all these giant gas-balls getting planetary status. A planet should require solid ground, dammit! AT LEAST YOU CAN STAND ON PLUTO, F***! How you gonna get Scotty to beam you down to a “planet” like Jupiter? SPOILER : You’re not, I’m here to inform you you’ve failed the Starfleet Academy Entrance Exam. Sorry! Largest planet in the solar system could be about to be discovered - and it’s up to four times the size of Jupiter [dailymail] Thanks to Mike, who doesn’t believe in planets until we’ve planted a flag on them AND NOT THROUGH THE USE OF HOLLYWOOD TRICKERY. *ahem* THE MOON.

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Is The Largest Planet In Our Solar System Hiding In A Comet Cloud (Spoiler: I Dunno)

Tuesday, January 28, 1986. I was only four at the time and didn’t watch the launch on live TV like so many others, but I do remember learning about it soon after and the profound effect it had me as an aspiring astronaut. We live, we die, we learn . In remembrance of (clockwise from back left) Ellison Onizuka, Christa McAuliffe, Gregory Jarvis, Judith Resnik, Ronald McNair, Dick Scobee and Michael J. Smith. See you amongst the stars. Space Shuttle Challenger Disaster on Wikipedia

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25 Years Ago Today: The Challenger Disaster