Because this is what happens . Plus you ruin a perfectly good backup condom . Or, in your case, balloon animal . “Whatever bro, I used to date a chick and one time we were getting so hot and heavy at Makeout Point we ended up using a Doritos bag. ” That…is not something I’d brag about. “What if I said it was a Pringles can?” Okay now you have my attention. Hit the jump for the ‘facial hair is overrated’ in action.

Continue reading here:
Learning Valuable Lessons: Why You Don’t Ignite A Balloon Filled With Flammable Gas

Some moron went and tried to Yahoo Answer his way to a B- on a homework assignment but failed(!) miserably when his professor found his question posted. You can tell the kid’s a a moron because 1. he has a robotic typewriter for an avatar and 2. Yahoo Answers is the worst place to post a legitimate question unless you want it answered by some other halfwit caps-locking, “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!” Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I boned your mom. Busted of the Day [thedailywh.at]

Original post:
F For Effort: How Not To Cheat On Homework

Alexandra V. Tobias, best known for her wonky yet still piercing gaze, shook her 3-month old son to death for interrupting her while playing FarmVille on Facebook . I told you it was the devil’s game . Girl, just be thankful I’d never put my hands on a woman because I would beat your f***ing eyes straight. She told investigators that she shook the baby, smoked a cigarette “to compose herself,” and proceeded to shake him again. The baby may have hit his head during one of the two shakings, she said. FarmVille, named one of the “worst inventions” in recent decades by Time magazine, has more than 60 million members, most of whom access the game through Facebook. Some players have found it so addicting that they’ve lost their jobs and racked up debts north of $1,000. What in the hell’s the matter with people? And why does it always seem like the morons WITH ABSOLUTELY NO BUSINESS (or significant genealogical differences from the other parent) CARING FOR A CHILD the ones that keep having them? Because I’d like to propose a sterilization program. Ha — did I say sterilization? Because I meant euthanasia by shotgun. “FarmVille” Interruption Cited in Baby’s Murder [mashable] Thanks to Shenanigans and Jessica, who don’t play FarmVille because it’s the shittiest game ever invented.

The rest is here:
Burn Her With Fire: Mother Shakes Baby To Death For Interrupting Her During FarmVille

Some moron decided it would be a good idea to attempt stealing holy gas from a church van. Only problem is, Jesus wasn’t having it . BURN HEATHEN, BUUUUURN! Blake King, 24, was reported in stable condition Wednesday in Vanderbilt University Hospital’s Burn Center. Evansville police report King was burned as he was using a cordless drill to drill into the gas tank of a 2001 Chevrolet van on the lot of Abundant Faith Church, 1228 Lodge Ave. Something sparked, according to the police report, catching the van on fire and burning King . The fire leaves the church without one of its two vans, which was supposed to help transport youth members to St. Louis this weekend. Officers arrived and found King, who told them he was burned when he stopped at 1228 Lodge Ave. to help another man who was on fire. Firefighters and fire investigators found a cordless drill next to the van. LOLWUT — cordless drilling a gas tank?!?! Let’s say you somehow managed to not set your dumbass on fire, what were you gonna do when the gas started flowing? Catch it in your mouth and spit it into a bucket? Okay that’s actually pretty good. Police: Man caught self on fire trying to steal gas from church van [courierpress] Thanks to Dakota, who tried electric drilling a dairy truck once and ended up with nothing but a milk mustache. I’m not gonna lie, you look handsome.

See the original post here:
Man Attempts Gas Theft From Church Van, Sets Himself, Van Ablaze