Note: The high-res versions of the landing sites are HERE (Apollo 12), HERE (Apollo 14) and HERE (Apollo 17). You know how your grandma is still convinced the moon landing never happened and it was all faked by Hollywood ? She’s a smart lady, I can see where you get it from. This is a series of high-res photos from NASA showing the Apollo 12, 14 and 17 landing sites and the imprints left by humanity there. Granted they were all faked in the Photoshop building at Area 54, but they’re still fun to look at. So yeah, if you don’t like them you should probably consider take a long walk off a short pier into the sea. “Of Tranquility?!” Dude — you should f***ing blog. Hit the jump for a couple videos because videos are worth a thousand pictures or something. At least a hundred.

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You Can Even See The Tire Tracks!: NASA’s High-Res Pictures The Apollo Landing Sites

Note: Full res version HERE and original image prior to the Lunar Orbiter Image Reprocessing Project HERE . This is the photo taken 45-years ago today when Lunar Orbiter 1, tasked with locating a suitable landing zone for the future Apollo missions, turned around and took a picture of earth from the moon . Damn, we’ve come a long way in the last 45 years, haven’t we? No, and we just recently committed to never going back again. And you know what? That’s fine with me. Just don’t get all pissy when you look through your tele-laserscope or whatever and realize the American flag’s been replaced with a Geekologietopia one. HA — like there was ever an American one up there in the first place. Back me up, Grandma. “I wet my pants.” Dammit nana, I told you to stop smoking all my weed! That shit is waaaaaay too strong for a 200-year old. Which reminds me… are you a witch? 45 Years Ago, NASA Took the First Image of Earth from the Moon [geekosystem] Thanks to D. Krauss, who’s been to the moon and claims it’s a lot rockier and a lot less cheesy than you’d think. WELL I AM DISAPPOINT.

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45 Years Ago Today: Earth From The Moon

Two moons, or one moon and a Deathstar? Go ahead and get all the “that’s no moon” out of your systems now. ” That’s no moon .” Are we good? Awesome. According to a new theory proposed by scientists, prior to 4.4 billion years ago, earth may have had two moons . Hey, you know what they say: if you love something, let it go — if it comes back, it’s yours, if it doesn’t, then SERIOUSLY F*** THAT MOON, IT WAS A CHEAPSKATE AND NEVER PAID FOR DINNER WHEN WE WENT OUT ON DATES ANYWAY. ” Let’s go Dutch ” — eff you bro, I’m a lady! Earth once had two moons, astronomers now think. But the smaller one smashed into the other in what is being called the “big splat.” The result: Our planet was left with a single bulked-up and ever-so-slightly lopsided moon. The astronomers came up with the scenario to explain why the moon’s far side is so much more hilly than the one that is always facing Earth. LOL @ “the big splat”. We’re talking about two little moons colliding, not the creation of the known universe. That would’ve been a teeeeensy splat at best. Like smacking a mosquito on your arm. Speaking of which — a friend once told me if you lick up the splatter after killing a mosquito it’ll get you high. Well I’m here to tell you it’s not true and we’re not friends anymore. Earth’s 2 Moons? It’s Not Lunacy, But New Theory [huffingtonpost] Thanks to Pat, Kelpie and Leonerd, who agree it’s not the size of your moons that counts, it’s how you land your lunar module.

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Prove It!: The Earth Used To Have Two Moons

There’s a full moon Saturday and it’s gonna appear the largest it has in almost 20 years, and won’t happen again until 2029. So yeah, probably a good idea to give it a peep just in case shit hits the fan in the meantime (which it WILL). Also, be sure to tell all your friends so they think you’re space-hip. Then casually drop some names like Carl Sagan and J.K. Rowling Stephen Hawking to really knock their moon-boots off. “The last full moon so big and close to Earth occurred in March of 1993,” said Geoff Chester with the U.S. Naval Observatory in Washington. “I’d say it’s worth a look.” Full moons look different because of the elliptical shape of the moon’s orbit. When it’s at perigee, the moon is about 31,000 miles (50,000 km) closer to Earth than when it’s at the farthest point of its orbit, also known as apogee. “Nearby perigee moons are about 14% bigger and 30% brighter than lesser moons that occur on the apogee side of the moon’s orbit,” the NASA website says. This full moon will rise in the east at sunset and should look especially big at that time because of what’s known as the “moon illusion.” Damn, I don’t think I saw the last one. 1993, that would have made me *counting on fingers* forty-four. Wait *recounting* twelve — I would have been twelve. Not sure how I screwed that up the first time. I’m gonna be honest though, I probably didn’t care about the moon too much at twelve. Pogs and magic-eye picture books, yes. Some things never change! Weekend full moon the biggest in about 20 years [cnn] Thanks to Evil Ares, who wanted me to give him credit for making the moon BUT I REFUSE. You’re evil, you’ don’t deserve it!

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Full-Moon On Saturday Largest In 20 Years

Some would argue scientists wouldn’t use terminology like butt-ton, but those people are wrong and obviously don’t know any scientists personally. They’re regular people just like you and me except they make love with lab coats and safety goggles on. So yeah, apparently there might be a whole ass-load of water on the moon . Maybe even enough to build lunar pools . MARCO! When NASA blasted a hole in the moon last year in search of water, scientists figured there would be a splash. They just didn’t know how big. Now new results from the Hollywood-esque moonshot reveal lots of water in a crater where the sun never shines — 41 gallons of ice and vapor. The estimate represents only what scientists can see from the debris plume that was kicked up from the high-speed crash near the south pole by a NASA spacecraft on Oct. 9, 2009. Mission chief scientist Anthony Colaprete of the NASA Ames Research Center calculates there could be 1 billion gallons of water in the crater that was hit — enough to fill 1,500 Olympic-sized swimming pools. Scientists hope that the discovery of abundant water may make a moon outpost a reality some day (hopefully before earth explodes). The GW hopes that he’ll be able to get there first and ship all the moon-water back to earth which he’ll sell to rich people for $2,000/bottle. Or — OR — just sell tap-water and SAY it’s moon-water , which… GET YOUR MOON-WATER HERE, FRESH FROM THE CRATER! CURES ACNE AND OBESITY! CHOCK FULL OF VITAMINS AND SPACE-CRYSTALS. FILTERED AND TINTED BROWN FOR THAT “FRESH FROM AN L.A. TAP” TASTE! COME TAKE A LOOK UNDER MY MICROSCOPE AND SEE THE MAGIC OF SPACE-WATER! OR *spit-take* JESUS — WHAT ARE THOSE, NEMATODES?! Last year’s moonshot splashed up lots of water [yahoonews]

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Scientists: "Butt-Ton Of Water On The Moon"

It’s a space station. As you may or may not know, the t-shirt was invented in 1722 by a Mr. Nathanial T. Shirk to keep your nipples from falling off. One misnomer at the London patent office later and the rest, my friends, is history . A history I just made up. Which let’s be honest, is far more interesting than the real thing. Did I ever tell you the one about how our solar system was created by two magicians fighting over a turtle? That one’s actually true. Product Site Thanks to Alex, L3g3ndQ, mike469x and wulk, who all would have bought it if it came in a rayon blend.

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Three Ewok Deathstar Shirt: That’s No Moon!

Note: Click HERE for a full-size version of the image for the full effect. This is a stereoscopic shot of the moon . So if you cross your eyes like you would a Magic Eye picture, you should be able to see our natural satellite in 3-D . Oooooor get frustrated and Hulk-smash your monitor. Stare into the screen and allow your eyes to defocus. You will get double vision as each eye sees the L & R images separately. Move your head towards and away from the screen until the two middle images overlap. The single overlapping image should be in 3D It took me a little time, but I finally saw it. And I’m not just saying that to impress you with my eye-crossing skills, but one time a friend did slap me on the back while I was making a funny face. You know what happened? I kneed him in the crotch until he cried blood. You don’t touch a man while he’s making faces! 3D space pictures: stereo images of moons, galaxies and nebulae [telegraph] (with 10 more 3-D images of various outerspace-y things) via Check out this 3D pic of the moon, no glasses required [dvice]

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The Moon In 3-D: No Star Trek Geordi Glasses Required!

That’s right, would-be astronauts , you can forget about NASA ever sending you to the moon strapped to a giant rocket, cause that shit ain’t happening. Your only chance now is lassoing a moonicorn and barebacking that bitch to outerspace. Obama wants to end NASA’s moon program, turn over space transportation to commercial companies and jump-start technologies needed for future human exploration of Mars and other destinations, officials said on Monday. Obama’s budget ends work on the shuttle follow-on vehicle, known as Orion, as well as a pair of rockets developed to fly astronauts to the space station, the moon and other destinations in the solar system. Funds previously earmarked for the Constellation program, initially intended to return U.S. astronauts to the moon by 2020, instead would be used for research projects that include robotics and other technologies needed to prepare for an eventual human mission to Mars Privatizing space transportation? I don’t know how I feel about that besides GW’s ROCKET TOURS NOW TAKING RESERVATIONS!! Week long space trips start at $1million. Now I know what you’re thinking, “I bet the GW’s just gonna get me high and drop me off at Space Camp”. And that, my friend, is a safe bet. Obama axes NASA moon plan in new budget [msnbc] Thanks to FDSY, who will kick your ass into outerspace for a cool grand.

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NASA Not To Revisit Moon After All, Orion, Constellation Programs Getting Scrapped

NOTE : If you’re reading this after 7:30AM Eastern you may be dead. As you may recall from the Pulitzer-winning article I wrote back in June (and an even ooolder article from April ‘06 ) , NASA plans to blow up the moon by crashing the $79 million Lunar Crater Observation and its Sensing Satellite (LCROSS) into the Cabeus crater on the moon’s south pole. When the twin crafts hit the lunar surface at around 6,000 mph, NASA expects “plumes of moon dust — perhaps full of ice — (to soar) 6.2 miles high above the moon’s Cabeus crater.” NASA hopes the explosion and resulting unmooning (see what I did there? Like unearthing!) will finally settle whether there’s ice and water under the moon’s surface. And, if so, if it’s potable. Nice, NASA — TOO BAD YOU’RE GONNA BLOW THE MOON IN TWO LIKE BUTTCHEEKS! And do you even know what that’s gonna do to the ocean’s tides? I mean, besides make for the most epic day of bodyboarding EVER. See you at the beach, suckers! NASA Will Bomb The Moon Tomorrow [io9] and NASA Attacks the Moon [yahoonews] Thanks to JFreezy, Sean, The Superficial Writer, Benjamin and moses, who are gonna finish the moon off with a giant laser if NASA’s plan doesn’t work.

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Well, It’s Been Nice Knowing You: NASA Plans To Blow Up The Moon Tomorrow Morning

This is, perhaps, the most famous photo from the Apollo Moon landing. It was taken by Neil Armstrong, who shot most of the pics taken on the Lunar surface using a Hasselblad 500EL camera outfitted with a Zeiss Biogon f-5.6/60 mm lens and 70mm Kodak film that was “thin-based and thin emulsion double-perforated.” Called the Data Camera, the 500EL used on the Moon was modded with a special silver finish to boost the hardware’s ability to withstand extreme thermal variations (the middle camera pictured here has the silver finish). The Data Camera also featured a glass Reseau plate , which produced a 5×5 grid of little crosses you can still see on the image. NASA used the markings to help account for film distortion and calculate the angular distance(s) between specific points in the image. Pictured above is Buzz Aldrin , who appears in the bulk of the Moon landing pics. In fact, there’s essentially only one photo of Armstrong taken while on the Moon, a blurry close-up of his reflection in Aldrin’s visor. Although a lot of brainpower went into creating the camera taken to the Moon, Aldrin says little planning went into the photography itself, which is why he became the unofficial star of the Moon. From Aldrin’s book Magnificent Desolation : Neil shot most of the photos on the moon, having the camera attached to a fitting on his spacesuit much of the time while I was doing a variety of experiments. I didn’t have such a camera holder on my suit, so it just made sense that Neil should handle the photography. He took some fantastic photographs, too, especially when one considers that there was no viewfinder on the intricate Hasselblad camera. We were basically “pointing and shooting.” Imagine taking such historic photographs and not even being able to tell what image you were getting. Unlike the digital camera era of today, in 1969 we were shooting on film, typically looking through a small optical opening on the back of the camera that corresponded with what the camera’s lens was “seeing.” But with our large space helmets, such a viewfinder would have done little good anyhow. So, similar to cowboys shooting their sixguns from their hips, we aimed the camera in the direction of what we wanted to photograph, and squeezed the trigger. Given that ambiguity, it is even more of a credit to Neil that we brought back such stunning photographs from the moon. if you look more carefully at the reflection in the gold visor on my helmet, you can see the Eagle with its landing pad, my shadow with the sun’s halo effect, several of the experiments we had set up, and even Neil taking the picture. It is a truly astounding shot, and was the result of an entirely serendipitous moment on Neil’s part. Later, pundits and others would wonder why most of the photographs on the moon were of me. It wasn’t because I was the more photogenic of the two helmet-clad guys on the moon. Some even conjectured that it must have been a purposeful attempt on my part to shun Neil in the photos. That, of course, was ridiculous. We had our assigned tasks, and since Neil had the camera most of the time we were on the surface, it simply made sense that he would photograph our activities and the panoramas of the lunar landscape. And since I was the only other person there . . . Ironically, the photography on the moon was one of those things that we had not laid out exactly prior to our launch. NASA’s Public Affairs people didn’t say, “Hey, you’ve got to take a lot of pictures of this or that.” Everyone was interested in the science. So we did the science and the rest of it was sort of gee-whiz. We had not really planned a lot of the gee-whiz stuff that, in retrospect, proved quite important. You can purchase a 16×20 print of the above pic and other Apollo-11 shots from Moonpans.com . photo by Neil Armstrong/NASA via Boston Globe via Todd Lappin

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Moon Landing Pics: "Gee-Whiz" Afterthought