Wanna make your own unicorn poop cookies ? WELL YOU ARE IN LUCK MY DISGUSTING FRIEND, because Instructable user Kristylynn84 has just the recipe for you! You’re gonna be shitting magic! Jk jk, diarrhea, but who cares — you tasted the rainbow . Me? I tasted a cow patty because a friend convinced me it was a no-bake. NOW I HAVE WORMS. Hit the jump for a bunch more closeups and a link to Kristy’s Instrutable with even more pictures of the process and step-by-step instructions.

Go here to see the original:
Finally, A Decent Unicorn Sh*t Cookie Recipe

Fish , long thought to make terrible tradesmen (but delicious sticks), can apparently use tools . Rocks are tools, right? “URG!” …Thanks for your input, Grok, but your dingaling is showing . I’m serious, people are starting to stare. Me? I’ve been staring the whole time. Scientists have recently discovered that several species of wrass will pick up clams with their mouths and then spit them at rock “anvils” to smash them open and get at all that yummy slime inside. Mmmm, slimy shit . And to think this whole time I’ve been steaming them to get them to open. Gaaaaaaah, outsmarted by fish again! Hit the jump for a fish demonstrating his clam-crushing skills.

Read this article:
God, Build Your Own Aquarium: Fish Use Tools

Because variety is the spice of life (sometimes I have a hotdog AND cheeseburger for lunch), 7-11 is launching a dual-chambered Slurpee cup in June so you can suck two flavors at once. But that’s not all! There will also be straws available with a valve inside so you have the option to drink from only one side, the other, or mix the two in your own personal Blue Raspberry to Coke ratio. Holy shit! Couple that with a 7-11 Big Bite and a couple taquitos and this chubby bubby is one happy puppy! I don’t f*** with their hot wings though, they give me diarrhea. And not the good, cathartic kind either — the bad kind that doesn’t even have the decency to wait until you get home. I’ve shat in two friends’ cars — it’s true! (I’ll try anything twice) Combo Slurpee Offers Latest in Slurpee Technology [technabob] Thanks to martin78, who watched as a little fat kid took five-minutes to tap down a Slurpee to get the most in the cup while he patiently waited his turn, only to see chubs drop the damn thing on the sidewalk right after leaving. OH SWEET VINDICATION!

See the article here:
Dual-Flavor Slurpee Cups With Valved Straw

Note: HARdto read/ specialy aif youave been drinlinking, clkick EHRE fora brigger verison. This is a map depicting the United States of Beer . I’m not sure what it’s supposed to teach us , but I am listening intently with the hope of some free samples after class. Which, 100% true story: one time I had to give a peer-reviewed presentation about the wine industry for a marketing class in college and had the other students follow me out to my car afterward and handed out free bottles of Boones Farm. Solid C, baby! Theeeeeeeen I drank the 12 left over and ran through a plate-glass window. Oh sugar-snaps — a bonus ‘United States of Soft Drinks’ HERE for you underage kiddies! The United States of Beer [houstonpress] Thanks to Shenanigans and Amanda, who both agree the best beer in the U.S. is whichever one’s in your tummy gettin’ ya krunk!

See the original post:
God Bless America: The United States Of Beer

Note: Short video of the magical deliciousness after the jump. How can a bartender pour a set of multi-colored shots from the same shaker? SPOILER: it’s called layering, and you can float one drink on top of another provided the specific gravity of the bottom is higher than the top (and you pour carefully). Yep, not to brag but I do pretty much know everything there is to know about the alcohols. Including, and not just limited to: I start feeling sick if my BAC falls below 0.20 . Yell cheers and hit the jump for some hot rainbow pouring action.

Read the rest here:
Black Magic Bartending: Pouring A Set Of Rainbow Shots All From The Same Shaker

That’s right folks, no more sifting through boxes of Lucky Charms just to make a single bowl of marshmallows ! Now you can have one whenever you want. Goodbye oat bran , hello cavities! (I’m gonna stash a bag in my ass for snacking you see). Here at Cereal Marshmallows Our Goal is to Deliver you the absolute best and Crunchiest marshmallows available and I believe that is just what we have. I searched the World Over Japan, China Mexico, Netherlands, Germany, Belgium, UK, Australia, NOWHERE could I Get a Crunchy Crispy Marshmallow I ordered everything you could imagine and tried to get manufacturers to make it for me to no avail. I ended up with a pile of soft Yucky marshmallows big enough to fill a Dozen Trash bags Then Right here in the USA I found the perfect Marshmallow only Problem was I had to order over 10,000 pounds WOW and Marshmallows are LIGHT this is a SEMI Truck full well a big step but nonetheless one we made and now we sell out every 4 months or so I’m sure you will love these marshmallows Although I cant give you the Exact shapes as in your favorite Cereal I do have the same Crunchy Marshmallows. My Charms are half Circles, Squares, Quarter moons and a triangle this product in my opinion is The Best marshmallow on the market! Prices start at $7 for two 7oz bags and go up to $400 for a 95lb bag. Oh my goodness — can you even imagine a 95-pound bag of cereal marshmallows? I can — like six beanbag chairs . Cereal Marshmallows Thanks to Matt, who once made a bowl of nothing but the raisin clusters from Raisin Nut Bran and nearly died from deliciousness.

Here is the original post:
It’s About Damn Time!: Bags Of Nothing-But-Cereal-Marshmallows Now Available

NOTE : Immensely homoerotic commercial is after the jump. I’ve been watching it on repeat. Remember the Shake Weight , the only piece of exercise equipment than can guarantee you’ll be able to milk a bull 4x faster with only six minutes of use a day? Well originally it was only targeted at the womens . But not any more — now there’s a men’s model! I ordered two last week, one for each hand, and admittedly: I can already feel the difference. Mostly because I tore my penis off. Hit it for the commercial but, WARNING: It’s gonna make you hotter than a volcano.

More:
The Shake Weight: Not Just For Women!

I’ve been trying to avoid posting t-shirts lately because a lot of you think t-shirt articles are lame, but then I realized I’m a man who has to follow his heart ask his mom for a ride to the mall later, and I should do whatever I want. Plus this is a f***ing dino with lasers and a battle axe . It’s very Dino-Riders. And if you’re not into that I’m not even sure you should be here in the first place. Doctors should probably smush you back up into your mom’s vagina UNTIL YOU GROW A BRAIN. Also, an extra inch or two down there certainly wouldn’t kill your girlfriend either. Plus you’d stop soaking your pubes every time you pee (you cry because it’s true). Anyway, $9 plus $2 shipping ($5 international) takes the shirt home BUT ONLY UNTIL MIDNIGHT EASTERN. After that it’s gone, but you still have two hours to convince a skank at the bar to come home with you. Tee Fury (different shirt tomorrow) Thanks to Comfort Eagle, Holy Crap! Lions!, Phloyd, Spartacus, Blaqk Panda, Vasssskk, Leeman, Xager, Quintin, JDARKHUNTER, R Fletcher, Whit, Quax, Lea C, supertt, Mr T, Patrick, Nikki, JAMES, The Awesome Sauce Wyatt and Andy, who were all sewn out of 100% polyester badassery and silkscreened with dildos on their chests awesomeness.

Read the original here:
Today Only: Battle-Dino Shirt At Tee Fury

For Pac-Man’s 30th anniversary a chain of convenience stores in Japan will be selling his likeness in the shape of questionably filled cookie buns. Mmmmmm!! Now call me old fashioned, but I still like to celebrate anniversaries the way God intended: with somebody jumping out of a cake. Yep, that’s right. For limited time only, Circle K stores in Japan have started to sell these Pac-Man shaped buns. My Japanese isn’t good (as in I can’t read it at all), but from what I can tell, they sell for 120 (about $1.31 USD), and they’re not filled with cherries, pretzels or power pills. Instead, they’re chock full of crushed almond-flavored cookies and cream custard. That actually sounds pretty good. Anybody in Japan want to send me some? I’ll pay you back — IN THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES. I will strike them down with my replica Master Sword and feast on their carcasses! I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL! Hit the jump for a shot of the display — cause you can get anything you want at Japanese Circle K’s.

See the rest here:
That….Looks Like S#!7: Pac-Man Cookie Bun

I was sitting on it the whole time!! Picture [thechive] Thanks to Uberscooter, as badass as a scooter can be.

View original post here:
FYI: This Is How Geekologie Gets Written