This is a nativity made entirely out of meat . Okay, and some hash browns and pretzel sticks. I particularly love how all the wise men are wearing tin-foil helmets . Star of Bethlehem: miraculous sign or alien spacecraft . Only baby Jesus knows for sure, and he’s not talking . Not to me anyway. I mean seriously, how much praying to win the lottery is too much praying to win the lottery? “At all”? Woopsie daisy. So awesome [sayuncle] Thanks to Blaqk Panda, who tried to cut corners and use animal crackers for all the nativity beasts and ended up burning his house down.

Read the rest here:
Mmmmmmm, Wise Men: The Meat Nativity

Remember ThinkGeek’s fake ‘Canned Unicorn Meat’ April Fools’ product ? Well it turns out they made it into a real product (that consists of a dismembered stuffed-animal unicorn in a can), and German customs isn’t too thrilled people are trying to import it. Per an email received by ThinkGeek: Folks, I just learned that it is not very helpful to describe the “canned unicorn meat” as “canned unicorn meat” on the invoice when trying to import this. Customs get really irritated as it’s supposedly food and meat of a “rare” animal. For the sake of keeping things smooth please label it as “canned unicorn (plush toy)” or something less conspicuous. My delicous unicorn is stuck in customs for almost a week now. Best regards, Ingomar If it’s not wurst, we don’t want it in the country! German sausages aside, who would want to eat a unicorn anyways? Torture them and use their tears in potions, sure, but actually eating them? That’s barbaric. ($2K to the first person to saw off one’s corn, I’m trying to make a love sex potion). ThinkGeek Product Site via ThinkGeek’s “Canned Unicorn Meat” Gag Gift Delayed at German Border as Rare Meat [geekosystem] Thanks to J.D. and Ulri, who both tried griffin burgers but complained they were too gamey for their tastes. Two words: phoenix hot-wings. They’ll blow through their a-holes like fireballs.

View post:
The Other Sparkly Meat: Fake ‘Unicorn Meat’ Product Gets Flagged By German Customs

Somebody went and made a baby entirely out of ground beef . Which, funny story: is exactly how God made Adam. Minus the pickle eyes. He used deviled eggs, silly! Can you tell I took a religion class in college? Because I didn’t. I did take a philosophy class though — it was called Morality and Ethics. Yeah, I found out I don’t have any (I stole an exam and got expelled). The Meat Baby [thisiswhyyourefat] Thanks to Tydal and trishna87, who only eat candy babies.

Go here to read the rest:
Meat Baby: A Modern Hansel And Gretel Story

Perky Jerky is beef jerky with caffeine added (via guarana) to help keep you awake and focused on trying to look busy and not like you’re just reading Geekologie. Perky Jerky caffeinated beef jerky is the world’s first performance enhancing meat snack. Put simply, we’ve combined the most tender and flavorful beef jerky, with an extra dose of energy (caffeine, from the Guarana we add) to provide a jerky experience you won’t find anywhere else. Performance enhancing meat snack . I dunno about all that. But if you want to try it, a 2 oz bag will set you back $5. Alternatively, a 2 oz bag of good weed would be like $700. So, yeah, cheaper than good weed. Product Site Thanks to Ryan, Mr. Robbot and Towhee Monster, who get their energy the old fashioned way, directly from the sun . Transform and photosynthesize!

See the original post here:
Beef Jerky: Now With More Caffeine

Geekologie Reader Bryan, inspired by the post on rejected Star Wars products , went and made a Death Star Grill . And I, for one, would slap my Rebel meat on it. I started with two Weber grills and used the bottom portions because they were fairly spherical. I welded up the stand and fabricated the vent systems (there is a vent on the bottom also). The inside is painted in barbecue paint so it is safe to cook with. The outside is painted in engine enamel so it should be good to 500 degrees. I know it isn’t perfect but it was a fun project. The grill is now up on eBay.com so check it out if you’d like your very own Death Star Grill! Bidding starts at $50, and the grill is capable of cooking both Endor and dinner. *pew pew* Take that, tauntaun chops! Hit the jump for another shot and links to Bryan’s website and eBay auction.

More here:
Geekologie Reader Makes Death Star Grill

The $70 Grill Alert Talking Remote Thermometer is a talking remote thermometer for your grill . You just jam the temperature probe in your choice of meat , push some buttons, and then sit in a hammock and guzzle beer while deliciousness deliciousizes itself. When the meat reaches your predetermined temperature of choice, the thing tells you it’s time to slap that bitch on a plate and OM NOM the shit out of it. Pork chop sandwiches ! Also, meat probe — I have one. Ladies? Talking Wireless Grill Thermometer Helps Cook Steak [ohgizmo]

Originally posted here:
Talking Grill Thermometer Talks, Temperatures

These are bacon loafers by Keds. They are fully customizable by choosing different colors for the thread, elastic, midsole, etc., and will set you back $60 (I made these ones as bacon-y as possible and if you argue that I should have made the elastic red instead of pink you’re wrong, pink is the color of raw bacon and I love it). Unfortunately, it appears they’re only available in women’s sizes (because women love sizzling meat — am I right, girls?), which is a problem seeing how I’m a size 12 *wink* . Long story short, I’m sawing all my toes off. Product Site Thanks to naas, who doesn’t need to buy a woman bacon shoes to get his meat around her feet. YOW YOW!

Follow this link:
Fried Footwear: Mmmm, Bacon Loafers

In a recent interview, I got God to admit that bacon is, in fact, the perfect food, followed distantly by Snack Pack Pudding and Fruit Roll-Ups. So it only makes sense to swaddle your iPod Shuffle in the stuff, right? Enter the $19 Bacon Bits Case by Etsy seller Antjes . Too expensive? Find out where to score that bacon-print felt and make them yourself! Hell, you could make anything! Including, but not limited to: breakfast. What can I say, I like a little fur on my meat. Ladies? Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

See the article here:
Om Nom Nom: The iPod Shuffle Bacon Case

Ha, what line? Yes, Bakon is bacon flavored vodka . Yes, it’s real. Yes, it’s only available in Washington, Idaho, Montana and Oregon right now. Yes, I want to try it. Yes, I want to pour it on a stripper. No, I don’t want to lick it off. Hit the jump for recipes and a link to the official site.

Read this article:
Crossing The Line?: Bacon Flavored Vodka

Meat Cards are business cards with your info burnt into them using a 150 watt CO2 laser. They are far superior to card stock for obvious reasons (read: meat and lasers). Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE business cards have two ingredients: MEAT AND LASERS . Unlike other business cards, MEAT CARDS will retain value after the econopocalypse. Hoard and barter your calorie-rich, life-sustaining cards. Mmmm, meat and lasers: definitely two of the finest ingredients on earth. PEW PEW, NOM NOM! Now, blast me in the eye with your laser pointer right as I swallow. What? Don’t judge me. Meatcards Thanks to Chloe and Julian for eating all my cards. No, really, thanks a lot guys.

Read more:
Best Business Cards Ever: Meat Cards