Presumably because some bigwig in the marketing department wanted to make a classy exit and leave the company flipping a proverbial bird , Hostess actually branded their Snowball treats as ‘Snowballimus’ (previously: Green Lantern GloBalls ) and another cupcake snack as ‘Chocwave Shockwaves’. The Chocwaves sound okay but the Snoballimuses look utterly disgusting, which is saying a lot because blue is probably my favorite color food. “Razzleberries?” Smurfs. Hit the jump for a shot of the other.

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Your Brand Manager, They Should Be Fired: Transformer Branded Hostess Snack Cakes

This is a Coke billboard in the Philippines touting the company’s greenliness. How earth-friendly is Coke besides the billboard? I have no clue. Probably not very. Whenever I have to guess about something like this I always err on the side of “companies really don’t give a shit and will only do enough to give the appearance that they do.” Hey, I could be wrong though (except there’s no way because a Mountain Dew rep actually told me that). The 60 x 60 foot living billboard in Manila is made of thousands of Fukien tea plants surrounding the iconic curvy shape of a silver Coke bottle. The project with the CO2-eating plants was created in conjunction with Coca-Cola Philippines’ Live Positively sustainability program. Pots made from recycled bottles contain the 3,600 trees, which live off a mixture of organic fertilizers. Though they are currently in the first stages of growth, the plants are expected to grow quickly, completely taking over the billboard surface, absorbing a total of 46,800 pounds of carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. Who knows, maybe I’m just being cynical. Well — what’s your opinion? “It’d be cooler if that was ganja growing out of it.” OMG — so we could shoot flaming arrows at it and get high?! I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING! Coca-Cola Plant Billboard Absorbs Air Pollution [huffingtonpost] Thanks to Pat, who agrees the best technology is green technology. Wait like earth-friendly, or alien?

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Coca-Cola’s Iffy Pollution-Cleaning Billboard

This is a Volkswagen Golf print ad that appeared in South African copies of Auto Trader magazine that’s actually edible . It was accompanied by the line ‘Eat the Road. Seriously, Eat It’ and was made from “glutinous rice flour, water, salt, propylene glycol, FD&C colour, glycerine.” What, no artificial flavor?! Please tell me it at least smelled like new car and gasoline. Clever effort, VW , so I almost hate to break it to you, BUT ALL PRINT ADS ARE EDIBLE. Don’t believe me? *tears out and eats ad from Playboy* See? *licking lips* Mmmmmm, that one must’ve had titties on the back! Hit the jump for a picture of the ad not in some guy’s mouth.

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VW’s ‘Eat The Road’ Print Ad Actually Edible

Cheer up bro, that’s a good lookin’ samwich! Because you should never make people wait to see the 1-minute commercial you’re paying $6-million to air during the Super Bowl, this is Volkswagen’s Star Wars inspired ad. I don’t want to ruin it for you, but I’m pretty sure that kid not only tried to Force-choke a baby-doll , but his dog as well, indicating some rather serious psychological issues that should probably be addressed before it’s too late to turn back to the light. “He’s Vader, man, it’s already too late.” IT’S NEVER TOO LATE! “Ever tried the Taco Bell drive-thru at 3AM on a Wednesday?” GAAAAAAH, you have a point. Hit the jump for the commercial you can now ruin for everybody else during the actual Super Bowl.

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VW’s Star Wars Super Bowl Commercial

Seen here looking suspiciously like Rodney Dangerfield’s lovechild, a man explains Samsung’s experiment to drop 200 paper airplanes from 36,500 meters (119,750 feet or ~22 miles) above Germany. Each plane contains a Samsung SD card with messages uploaded from people who visited their website. Mine reads, “SUCK IT, ALIENS!” Allegedly planes traveled all the way to Sydney, Australia; Khabarovsk, Russia and Bangalore, India, although I suspect they’re actually all at the bottom of the ocean or in a shark’s stomach. The feat was performed with the intention of demonstrating just how “magnet-proof, shock-proof and waterproof” the SD cards are, but I suspect it’ll actually demonstrate just how small and hard to find they they are. Just sayin’, you know how many memory cards filled with nude Myspace-style mirror shots of myself I’ve lost? TENS. Plus a couple external hard drives. And at least one briefcase of Polaroids. Please note: if you find one of the planes you’re encouraged to contact Samsung with your info yell ‘HOLY SHIT IT’S A BOMB!’ and call the police. Hit the jump for a video of the planes being released.

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Paper Planes In The Sky, I Can Go Twice As High: Samsung Drops SD-Card Laden Paper Airplanes From 22-Miles Up

This is the (Abu Dhabi) Emirates Palace hotel’s $11 million Christmas tree. Well, technically the tree only cost $10K, it’s just covered in $11 million of gold and diamond tackery. It’s a marketing effort to drum up interest in the hotel . Right, like I’m rich enough to fly to the UAE and stay in a $400 - $7,000/night hotel. Just sayin’, I had to ask a friend to spot me bus-fare yesterday. Plus I stole two packs of Ramen when he was in the bathroom! The vast majority of the population of the oil-rich UAE are Muslim. But Mr Olbertz said he did not think the tree would offend local sensibilities. “It’s a very liberal country,” he said, according to AFP. Asked what security measures were in place to prevent theft of jewellery from the tree, assistant director of marketing Hazem Harfoush said the tree was “good proof that Abu Dhabi is a safe destination”. And the hotel was even safer, Mr Harfoush told the BBC. “We have 24/7 security, four security guards closely monitoring the space plus security cameras.” “Very liberal country” aside, did that just say FOUR security guards? Can you excuse me for just a sec? *dialing* Hello, Grinch? Tie Max’s antler back on, it’s time to steal another Christmas. UAE hotel boasts ‘most expensive Christmas tree ever’ [bbcnews] Thanks to Liz, who doesn’t like trees and decided to decorate a shrub instead. What the — WHO DOESN’T LIKE TREES?!

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Definitely NOT The True Meaning Of Christmas: Hotel’s $11 Million Tree

Alternatively, “Luke, I am your fonter.” God I hate myself for that . And, well, pretty much everything else I’ve ever done. Anyway, because some Geekologie Readers have to go home and give themselves glitterstim enemas if I don’t meet their daily quota of Star Wars posts, here’s a small gallery (read: three pictures) of characters created entirely out of different fonts by Italian ad firm H-57 Creative Station. This is Darth Maul or somebody here, but there’s a Cylon and a Fraggle after the jump. Huh? ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY GEEK CREDENTIALS?! Fine — fine, this is Darth Vader , and there’s a Stormtrooper and Yoda after the jump. What isn’t after the jump is the X-Wingding Fighter I just spent two hours making in Photoshop. I’ll email you a copy for $1 though. Ass Xerox for $2. Hit the jump for the other two.

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Use The Fonts, Luke: Star Wars Typography

First the TRON/Marvel mash-up marketing campaign , and now an official line of overpriced TRON garbage for womens . *posing nude on light-bike * I had no idea the ladies were so excited about this movie ! Apparently, there is a market for geeky gear for the ladies too, and Disney is all up on it with some new TRON items. The first product is a pair of spiked platform sandals that cost $795 that would be perfect for any stripper working Comic Com. Those shoes aren’t the only items in the collection from various designers. The price for the gear ranges from $90 to $2,600 and includes earrings and belts. I have to mention the belts if for no other reason than the designer is Han Cholo and the buckle is a golden light cycle. The most expensive piece in the collection is a sterling silver necklace with the icon symbol from the TRON flick. There are pictures of the belt and necklace after the jump, both of which look like complete and utter shit. I’m talking real booboo. So bad even stupid rich people will think twice before buying it. Don’t get me wrong, they still will, but not without a second of hesitation while they’re whipping out the plastic. And speaking of whipping out the plastic — strap-ons: not as cool as they sound. Hit the jump for the rest of the crap.

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Milking It Dry: Disney’s Line Of Official TRON Garbage, Including $800 Hooker Heels

KFC (who knows good marketing ) has just started a campaign in which they pay college girls $500 to wear ‘ Double Down ‘ sweatpants and pass out sandwiches /coupons to horny/obese college students. It’s actually pretty genius if you think about it while you’re hungry and forgive them for using sweatpants instead of yoga pants. The chicken chain says it hopes to use assvertising to “tempt fellow students” into trying the fried-meat monstrosity that only a frat boy or freshman could love. “On select college campuses,” the press release says, “female undergraduates will sport KFC Double Down branded sweatpants to encourage students to try the unique bun-less sandwich.” The gig pays $500, in case that helps you swallow your pride like a pile of greasy hen flesh. The promotion kicked off this week in Louisville, Ky., and will soon hit three more campuses. OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN — NOT COOL, KFC. First all the animal cruelty, and now this? For shame . The Colonel and I are gonna have to have some words. Well, whiskey first, then words. *glug glug glug* Nice beard, Colonel. “Thanks, young man”. Alright, enough small talk . I don’t know how to tell you this, so I’m just gonna come out and say it: I like Chick-Fil-A better. Waffle fries, son, waffle fries . KFC to ‘Double Down’ on college girls’ butts [adfreak] Thanks to Nick, who is a master of disguise and managed to score over 40 free sandwiches before being recognized.

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Doubling Down On That Ass: KFC Advertising Chicken Sandwich On College Coed Rumps

This is a print ad for the new Volkswagen Fox touting an all new, redesigned interior (then why is there still a steering wheel ?!). Unfortunately, it looks like they put it on the wrong side. You gonna be sittin’ on a tire with a windshield wiper for a seatbelt! Inside Out Car [gizmodo] Thanks to Jose, who doesn’t drive a car, he drives women wild . Yeah you do!

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Let Me Guess — You Swung Over The Bar: Inside-Out Car Looks Hard To Keep Clean