Remember last year’s release of Super Mario Converse special editions ? Well they’re back with another, this time in low-tops. Me? I like my tops muffin . Dropping next month for an undisclosed amount of gold coins, the Converse Japan One Star Super Mario Bros OX are the perfect shoes for doing a little princess saving. Ooooooor walking to the liquor store. They are NOT for kicking shit though. And neither are flip-flips (that’s how I got worms). Converse One Star Super Mario Bros. OX [highsnobiety] Thanks to Jacques, who claims he used to have a pair of Altered Beast Asics back in the day. Get the f*** out!

Excerpt from:
Princess-Saving Shoes: Super Mario Bros. Converse

Note: I had to cut the graphic for the front page, all 16 designs after the jump. This is a series of Mario themed pirate flags designed by Geekologie Reader Julie’s boyfriend, Micah. Not gonna lie, I would sail under any of these. Hell, I’d sail under the flowery garden flag your mom puts out in the spring if it meant I was back on a pirate ship . “You have never been on a pirate ship.” You got me, but I did go on a booze cruise once. I puked over the side and sharks came! Hit the jump for the whole graphic.

See the original post here:
Mushroom Kingdom Plundering: Mario Pirate Flags

This is the $34 Mario warp pipe coffee mug from Fangamer , the same company that brought us the Mega Man energy tank coffee mug . It makes a great stocking stuffer. Or, should I say, stocking clogger ? Get it? Because it’s a pipe and sometimes pipes get clogged if you flush too many paper towels and tampons. What? I’M BEING REAL. Plus one time I flushed a pair of underwear because I’d made a mistake in the back and was too embarrassed to have my girlfriend wash them. $140 later the plumber Roto-Rooted them out and showed them to her anyways. CURSE YOU, MARIO! Hit the jump for several more shots, including the mug as a (piranha) planter.

See the original post here:
Warp Me Awake, STAT: The Mario Pipe Coffee Mug

If you haven’t already seen this, watch it. It’s a video of a guy riding a mechanical Yoshi trying to collect Mario coins on the side of the street. And, from the look of dude’s coin collecting abilities, it’s fairly obvious he stole the previous 89 from somebody else. Damn, have you ever considered collecting coins with a raccoon tail instead? “I have, I fell out of a tree and broke both arms.” Rough! “You’re telling me — I had to give up coin-collecting because the Mushroom Kingdom refused to make warp pipes handicapped accessible.” Okay now you’re depressing me. Hit the jump for the laughing at other people’s misfortune.

Continued here:
How Not To Collect Mario Coins On A Moped

That…is making my eyes water. This is an 18-minute trip (literally, some of the graphics are INTENSE) down Mario memory lane featuring a musical montage of tunes from Nintendo games featuring everyone’s favorite plumber (unless your favorite plumber is the guy from Roto-Rooter you call when your shitter overflows, in which case no, not him). It includes music from pretty much every game Mario has ever been in and makes a great soundtrack for the day. Kidding, it’s like having a 18-minute seizure. Hit the jump, watch a little, then hopefully get sent home early for looking sickly.

Read the original here:
Mario 30th Anniversary Music Extravaganza!

Note: Larger shots of each poster after the jump, high-res versions available at the artist’s site. This is a small series of Super Mario propaganda posters from Bowser’s camp encouraging Mushroom Kingdomites to join his reptilian republic against his plumber enemies. Two f***ing plumbers! You have thousands of loyal (albeit dumb as question blocks) subjects and you can’t even manage to kill two measly pipe-layers? That’s some sad shit, Bow-Bow. Maybe you should, I dunno, give up on marrying the princess and settle down with a nice koopa troopa. “NEVER — PEACH WILL BE MINE!!” Dude — she doesn’t even like you. That makes you a creeper. Have you ever considered pursuing Birdo? She got that crazy-ass mouth, I’m just sayin! Hit the jump for closeups of each poster and a link to the artist’s website with even higher-res versions and 11″x17″ versions for sale ($30 apiece/$80 for all four).

See the article here:
Calling All Koopas: Mario Propaganda Posters

Note: Video after the jump has some NSFW humping sounds, watch it with your ear to the speaker. Ever wonder what kind of conversation might be had if Mario walked in on two koopas making sweet, reptilian love in the secret warp area of World 1-2? This kind. Maybe . Just sayin’, turtles are so slow they probably wouldn’t have even noticed until after Mario was already gone. Also — is it true all female koopas are red and males are green? Because if so I may have had sex with a dude. “You mean a turtle?” No I mean a dude. Hit the jump for the video. Also, for the very NSFW languaged ‘Mario: Frustration’ video because it will always be the best Mario video ever made.

Read more:
What If: Mario Caught 2 Koopas Makin’ Love?

Special EDITION. We saw the first two designs of the special edition release of Mario/Converse Chuck Taylors back in this post , and here are the other two designs (scheduled to drop in August). The first is of a Mario overworld scene , the second is of the final boss battle with Bowser. Both contain hidden images on the inside of the ankle-part. Personally, I’m not into novelty shoes, but that’s because I only wear flip-flops. And not the expensive kind either — the cheap rubber ones you can buy at the grocery store where if the little thong button pops out you can just jam it back in with a finger. You know, like the ones Jesus used to wear. “Jesus never wore those.” HA — how would you know, have you met him? “No, but I talk to him in prayer.” And you asked about his shoes?!?! Hit the jump for the other pair.

View original post here:
The Other Special Ed. Mario Converse Chucks

Converse Japan is dropping two limited edition Chuck Taylors (black and white) to commemorate Mario’s 25th anniversary as a plumber (and a crooked one too — I think he stole the copper out of my walls!) No word on cost, but you know what they say: if you have to ask then there’s probably no price tag and the salesperson is gonna size you up and try to milk you for all you’re worth. Not from these golden teats you’re not! *lifting moob, trying to lick mipple* Super Mario Bros. 25th Anniversary Chuck Taylors. [albotas] Thanks to nathan, who claims he can dunk a basketball. Oh yeah? Well I could too if it weren’t for these sausage fingers!

See more here:
Mario 25th Anniversary Converse Chucks

Mario videos — everybody loves them, right? “I hate them.” YOU SHUT UP — I HATE YOUR FACE. The first (short) video is of the original Super Mario being played with Portal technology . The second (longer) video is a speed-run of Super Mario 3 with all the music played via “real-time jazz accompaniment”. The third video, which I thankfully caught and deleted prior to posting, was a sessy webcam video of me I didn’t realize I’d recorded. Trust me, leaving it up would brought the entire site down in an intense flash of pure, unbridled sensuality. Oooooooor me digging between couch looking cushions for a snack. Read: I found and ate a furry Gusher. “You nasty.” Still had its juice in it, just sayin’. Hit the jump for the videos.

See the original post:
Mario Double Feature!: A Mario/Portal Mashup And Mario 3’s Music Played Acoustically