Absolutely Not: The Inflatable Ant-Roach Robot

Sure it may LOOK like a giant blue dildo with legs, but looks can be deceiving. Except in this case, because that’s a walking shlong if I’ve ever seen one (and I have — lots ). The inflatable Ant-Roach robot was designed to carry passengers on the ride of a miserable lifetime, all the while with the sound of a loud-as-f*** air-compressor running in the background. Wow, did we all fall asleep and wake up in the future or what?! Hit the jump for a video of the blow-up bot in action.

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Absolutely Not: The Inflatable Ant-Roach Robot

Norway’s New Stealthy Magic Missiles

Inb4 “that looks like a [name some animal]’s penis”. This is a video demonstration of Norway’s new Naval Strike (Magic) Missile. The shakiness made me kinda woozy, but it’s worth checking out if you’ve got the stomach . Me? I’ve got that B-U-T-T-Z. *booty poppin’* The video follows a missile from launch as it flies just over the tops of waves, over an island, and finally through a ship. I’m not sure if civilians are going to be allowed to buy them. The testing for this next-generation anti-ship missile took place off Point Mugu, California in June of this year. According to Konsgberg, the NSM had only 1.5 seconds to acquire and positively ID the ship as its target before striking. The state-of-the-art missile weighs about 400 kg (880 lb) and has a range of 100 nautical miles, both along the coast and in the open ocean. It uses GPS, inertial and terrain reference systems to maintain its bearings. Being a cruise missile, and the only fifth-generation long range precision strike missile in existence, the NSM is capable of flying over land while avoiding obstacles and skimming just above the surface of the ocean to avoid radar detection. The NSM will also make a random high-G-force maneuver in order to confound enemy countermeasures just before it strikes with a 125 kg multi-purpose blast/fragmentation warhead. Hello — Norwegian Navy? This is General Gee Kologie from the US Army’s Antirobotics Division. Huh? What do you mean you’ve never heard of us?! *high-five, hipsters! Jk, jk — don’t touch me* Listen, I need some of these missiles you’ve got. No? Not buying it? What if I told you I’m in middle school and I need one for a science fair project? Hello? HELLO? They hung up on me! “You were talking into a skillet.” I thought it smelled like bacon. Hit the jump for the video. Hit your cubicle-mate for a fight.

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Norway’s New Stealthy Magic Missiles

Autonomous Quadrocopter Can Fly Through Windows, Perch, Murder You In Your Sleep

Note: Video is after the jump because I’d prefer all the shitted-pants on the second page for easier cleanup. Q : What’s cooler than an autonomous quadrocopter that can fly through windows and perch on vertical surfaces? A : Everything, including drowning. We don’t know whether we should be terrified or overjoyed. We’ve just come across a video demo from the University of Pennsylvania’s GRASP Lab that shows an autonomous quadrotor helicopter performing “precise aggressive maneuvers.” You’ve got to watch the video to see just how amazingly this thing moves, it’s 100% terrifying. And speaking of terrifying: my face in the mirror when I woke up this morning. Joking — I’M THE FAIREST BITCH THIS SIDE OF FAIRYTALE LAND. Suck it, Snow White! … … Haha, what do you mean, “after all the dwarfs”? Hit it for the aerial acrobatics.

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Autonomous Quadrocopter Can Fly Through Windows, Perch, Murder You In Your Sleep

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