I bought a MacBook Air right when they came out but ended up breaking it over my knee after getting sick and tired of its weightlessness. My laptop needs some heft , dammit, I need to feel like I’m hauling some serious shit around (and not just 500GB of pr0n ). The solution? A laptop bag half-filled with cinderblocks. My God do I feel like a man now. Plus — PLUS — the computer itself is still light enough to perch on my knees when I’m on the john (like I am now). Anyway, *flushing* this is a video of some guy exploding a *spraying air-freshener* MacBook Air with M-1000’s. At first I thought the explosion * sniffing, spraying more air-freshener* would be disappointing, but it actually does a pretty good job. Since the release of the new second generation MacBook Air, there really is no use for the old one. So we put two M-1000 dynamite sticks we got from Chinatown inside of our newly obsolete Apple product. The results are quite explosive. Haha, I thought those were Chinatown M-1000’s! I could tell because legal ones can’t even blow the legs off insects. And not mutant ones either, I’m talking about regular-ass crickets. Also, I was lying about the whole owning a MacBook Air thing. I just said it to sound cool but having reread it I realize I sounded like a fart echoing off a hard plastic chair. Forgive me? Hit the jump for the explosive action.

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Blowing Up A MacBook Air With Fireworks

Note: This is only a small, unreadable portion of the infographic, click HERE to see the whole thing in stunning 3-D. Fine, FINE — 2-D . This is an infographic all about Apple . I thought it was pretty interesting. And by pretty interesting I mean I would have been just as excited if it were about the fruit. Mmmm, love those things with a little peanut butter . Pears too! Anyway, I didn’t even have to look at the financials (and I probably never will) to know I want a piece of that. A piece of that pie . That Apple pie. See what I did there? “Shamed yourself?” Exactly. Apple By Numbers [techi] Thanks to Brettmucker, who knows four apples a day will not only keep the doctor away, they’ll help attract horses.

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Give It To Me Straight, How Many To Keep The Doctor Away?: Apple By The Numbers

Still think it’s cool being a fanboy ? You’re one of him. iDouche [cheezburger] Thanks to cookies ‘n cream and Professor XXX, both of whom sound like porn stars. One possibly disabled.

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Can’t Possibly Do It Any Wronger: iPad Fail

Have a bunch of obsolete Apple products sitting around collecting dust? Trade them for gold ! Gold For Macs accepts iPods , MacBooks and everything in between and sends you cold hard cash gold in return. I just sent them 40 Dells with Apple stickers over the logo! Am I a genius or what? I am. I was also the first one to melt cheese in Ramen noodles. Youtube Thanks to Michael, whose friends made the video and shouldn’t be allowed to make any more. Kidding guys, go for it.

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Let’s Make A Deal: Gold For Macs Commercial

Looking for that perfect MacBook sleeve that says, “I’m not just a creative , I’m a pretentious creative ?” Then you’re in luck. Also, probably not that creative. Burned you just got burned. Called the BookBook, this $79.99 case literally transforms your MacBook into “an antique leather-bound book.” Not just for looks, “its hardback sides with reinforced corners protect from impacts [and] the vintage designed spine provide crush protection.” Nice. Now when somebody breaks into your apartment to steal your first edition Shakespeare they’re actually getting your MacBook. Haha, the joke’s on them! This Vintage Book Is Your New MacBook Pro Case [iphonesavior] and BookBook Case Turns Your MacBook Into Leather-Bound Book [techeblog] Thanks to Michael and Erin, who have MacBook cases that look like large-print crossword puzzle books.

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Sneaky: That’s No Book, That’s A MacBook!

I’m pushing 30, which means I’ve officially entered that stage of life where self-preservation becomes less about avoiding pain, and more about boosting my chances of reproductive success*. In other words: regular health check-ups, infrequent jacuzzi and always a pillow or jacket between the MacBook and my precious, heat-sensitive manstuff . I tend to forget to use such protection, though. That’s why adding a ThermaPAK to my laptop bag seems like a no-brainer**. Small (13.5″ X 11.5″ X 0.5″), relatively lightweight (23 oz.) and reasonably-priced ($30), the pad contains “phase change material” crystals (sodium sulfate decahydrate), which melt to help absorb the heat output from a laptop battery, then crystallize back up when they cool after use. The quilted-like surface on the laptop side also comes into play. According to the manufacturer: ThermaPAK’s pad grooves channel air under the laptop, and use the second law of thermodynamics (which states that heat will tend to flow from hot areas to cold ones to reach equilibrium) to draw heat from the laptop. I can attest to the reduced heat. Last night I sat with the laptop in front of the TV and then in bed. No issues at all in terms of keeping my junk cool. The pad did it’s job and was mostly comfortable (feels similar to the lead apron you wear for dental x-rays, only lighter). However, that rigid surface is a tad on the slippery side. The first few times I leaned forward, my computer nearly flew off the pad. Not a deal breaker, but something to be aware of. The company claims these pads can extend your laptop’s battery life. My experience: at 10:43 pm, I had 19 minutes left on my battery. By 11:11pm, I had 8 minutes. At 11:16pm, 3 minutes (while running iTunes, Firefox and TweetDeck). How the pad may have affected my sperm count, I can’t say for sure. But piece of mind is irrefutable. *I don’t have children, but I do want at least one. **I’ve never used a USB fan, which is another option.

See more here:
Review: 1 Night w/the ThermaPAK Cooling Pad