Inb4 “that looks like a [name some animal]’s penis”. This is a video demonstration of Norway’s new Naval Strike (Magic) Missile. The shakiness made me kinda woozy, but it’s worth checking out if you’ve got the stomach . Me? I’ve got that B-U-T-T-Z. *booty poppin’* The video follows a missile from launch as it flies just over the tops of waves, over an island, and finally through a ship. I’m not sure if civilians are going to be allowed to buy them. The testing for this next-generation anti-ship missile took place off Point Mugu, California in June of this year. According to Konsgberg, the NSM had only 1.5 seconds to acquire and positively ID the ship as its target before striking. The state-of-the-art missile weighs about 400 kg (880 lb) and has a range of 100 nautical miles, both along the coast and in the open ocean. It uses GPS, inertial and terrain reference systems to maintain its bearings. Being a cruise missile, and the only fifth-generation long range precision strike missile in existence, the NSM is capable of flying over land while avoiding obstacles and skimming just above the surface of the ocean to avoid radar detection. The NSM will also make a random high-G-force maneuver in order to confound enemy countermeasures just before it strikes with a 125 kg multi-purpose blast/fragmentation warhead. Hello — Norwegian Navy? This is General Gee Kologie from the US Army’s Antirobotics Division. Huh? What do you mean you’ve never heard of us?! *high-five, hipsters! Jk, jk — don’t touch me* Listen, I need some of these missiles you’ve got. No? Not buying it? What if I told you I’m in middle school and I need one for a science fair project? Hello? HELLO? They hung up on me! “You were talking into a skillet.” I thought it smelled like bacon. Hit the jump for the video. Hit your cubicle-mate for a fight.

The rest is here:
Norway’s New Stealthy Magic Missiles

This is a life-size WALL-E model made entirely out of scrap metal . If we were in a fight, I would definitely be going for that Adam’s apple. Oooooooor in the opposite direction as fast as I can (I’m a sissy-boy). SCRAP-E here is for sale if you’re interested (I know you’re not — it’s cool) for $2,800. No word if he’s dumb enough to fall in love with the trashcan I drew googly eyes on, but you better believe I plan on dangling it over a volcano with fishing line to try to lure him in. THE ONE RING MUST BE DESTROYED. Hit the jump for a head-on shot that may or may yes have the ability to steal your soul.

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Way Too Meta For Me: A Scrap Metal WALL-E

Ladies: they wear makeup . Some guys too but that’s between me and my eyebrow pencil. Enter makeup handguns from Dutch designer Ted Noten (NOT Nugent). They don’t pack heat, but they do pack a bunch of overpriced garbage. Plus — PLUS — you might get shot just because you wanted to ‘freshen up’. Did I mention they cost between $11,500 - $17,000? Because they do that too. *eyeroll, stomach-roll* the guns are formed from 3D-printed nylon and come in two different models. The Dior001, which has Dior lip gloss, an antique hairpin, storage for pills, a USB stick ?and a 100-gram sterling silver bar, and the Chanel001, which stores Chanel lip gloss, an antique hairpin, a 18k gold toothpick, a perfume bottle with an 18k gold mechanism, a 50-gram 24kt gold bar, a USB stick, and a Viagra pill. A gold bar and a Viagra pill? They should’ve named that model ‘The Gold-Digger’! Get it? To get an old dude’s boner up and then take his money! Jesus, this isn’t rocket surgery folks. Hit the jump for a bunch more shots of all the shit they’ve packed inside.

Original post:
A Makeup-Filled Handgun For The Ladies

This is a picture of someone who’s been vacuum -packed. Sounds freaky deaky , I know. And that’s because it is freaky deaky . Apparently people like the way it feels. See? Those frozen chicken cutlets don’t have it so bad after all! There’s a video of a human vacuum-packing in action after the jump, and I’ve got to admit: I wouldn’t mind trying it. On you. Tell me, how do you feel about getting dumped in a river afterward? Hit the jump for one more shot, a video of the WTF’ery, as well as a NSFW link (some see-through) to Kink Engineering with even more ZOMGOODNESS.

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I’m Not Surprised (But Still Deeply Disturbed): A "Han Solo Frozen In Carbonite" Fetish

This is an Optimus Prime statue spotted at the site of the 2008 Beijing Olympics aquatic center. He stands life-size and was built entirely out of 10,108 scrap car parts. How tall is life-size? Try 32-feet. Sure you could argue that’s not Optimus’ actual height, but then I’d remind you this is China we’re talking about and you should just be thankful he doesn’t have Voltron for a head. Hit the jump for a zoomy-outier shot with a better view of the Bird’s Nest in the background.

Originally posted here:
China Builds Life-Size Scraptimus Prime