This is a series of conceptual Evian water bottles designed by Mandy Brencys to look like both Star Wars characters AND lightsabers . Still, would you be willing to pay an extra $2 for a bottle of water that looks like a wookie-saber? Of course you would — look who I’m f***ing talking to. Evian Star Wars (on Marcy’s CargoCollective page) Thanks to PYY, who may or may yes be a water fairy. “Woodland.” She’s a woodland fairy.

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Conceptual Star Wars Character Evian Bottles

Picture related: same color sabers. 33-year old ( young? ) David Allen Canterbury was arrested Wednesday night after somebody called 911 because he was swinging two blue lightsabers at customers in an Oregon Toys R Us. Wait…you can get arrested for that? Been there, done that, thought the worst that could happen would be getting asked to leave, amirite?! Officers tried to arrest Canterbury, but he kept swinging the lightsabers at them, Simpson said. One officer tried to use his Taser but the device didn’t work. Another officer used his Taser, but Canterbury knocked one of the wires away with a lightsaber. Whoa whoa whoa — two attempted taserings and they both failed? I never thought I’d say it, but this goofy f***er might have actually been wielding the Force! Hillsboro man held after alleged ‘Star Wars’ light saber assault at Portland Toys R Us [oregonlive] Thanks to DragonKatt and Evil Ares, who have never attacked patrons at a toy store before but have ridden bikes up and down the aisles. Ha, I still do that.

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Some Guy Starts Lightsaber Assault At Toys R Us

This is a video of Youtuber Boogie (aka Francis aka not a real-life video) being disrupted from Skyrim to unbox a lightsaber as an early Christmas present. Depending on how you feel about lightsabers, morbid obesity, people pretending to be retarded, and people attacking people pretending to be retarded with lightsabers, you may or may not like it. I…did not like it. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some good one-liners, it’s just… f*** you should really take better care of yourself . It’s like watching an overexcited bean-bag chair. Hit the jump for the WTFery.

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Christmas Came Early: Francis Unboxes A Lightsaber

This is a video of a squirrel going nuts(!) with a little lightsaber . One second he’s all calm and the next he’s doing like thirty backflips and running up a tree . Now I’m not saying he’s definitely on something, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the Jedi Council found out he submitted chipmunk urine for his drug test. Hit the jump for why you should never give an animal a lightsaber.

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WTF Is He On?: Squirrel With a Lightsaber

Ever wonder what happens when you run a lightsaber factory entirely with Gungan slaves and absolutely zero quality control ? This. That thing’s not even a lightsaber anymore, that’s a light lasso . *swinging over head* Quick, somebody point me at a tauntaun! *PSHFWWWUUUMMMMMM!!* … … …Its guts are everywhere aren’t they? Hit the jump for the short but worthwhile video, which is actually a Polish steel factory (which explains why everything went to shit — they can’t even screw in lightbulbs!

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Many Bothans Died: Lightsaber Factory Fail

This is a 30-second video of four dudes playing shuffleboard badminton with lightsabers special-effected in over their racquets. It would have been cooler if the editor had turned the shuttlecock into one of those lightsaber training balls like Luke uses on the Millennium Falcon , but it’s obvious somebody wasn’t thinking. “Her-her, did he just say turn a shuttlecock into balls?” I did, and I’m going to turn yours into a f***ing lizard if you don’t start acting your age. Hit the jump and get your recreational Force on.

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The Force For Recreational: Jedi Badminton

This is allegedly a video of every lightsaber ignition/retraction from all the Star Wars films (including the shitty ones). I say allegedly because I have no idea if it actually is and God knows I’m not going to spend the time to find out. Research: I don’t do it. Now experimental drug testing, that’s different. $20 and I’ll eat any pill you give me provided it doesn’t make my penis smell like sausage (I have two hungry dogs and I’m a heavy sleeper). Hit the jump for the video.

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Laser Swords!: Every Lightsaber Ignition & Retraction From All Of Star Wars In 2:30

Because geeks like arguing about things to show off their intellectual superiority (think nerdy peacocks), here’s a visual guide to lightsabers so you can prove you’re right when arguing with a fellow Star Warser at the bar over a cold Mountain Dew . That’s cool and all, but you want to know how to instantly win any lightsaber argument at the bar? Shatter a f***ing stool over your friend’s head. BOOM! Not only did you just win the fight, you sent your friend to the hospital where he’ll have plenty of time to contemplate the error of his ways. You know, or plot revenge.* *Geekologie not responsible for your murder. Lightsaber Chart Will Spark Endless Fights Over Who Bagsies Which ‘Saber [gizmodo]

Link:
I Want Purple!: A Visual Guide To Lightsabers

Note: Video is after the jump because my Force wasn’t strong enough to keep the video on the front page. I know, I’m a weakling. Following in the footsteps of Star Wars Kid , somebody went and edited a lightsaber into the hands of Ninja Bear . Only problem is, he can’t seem to hold the thing by the handle . That’s how I could tell it was all computer graphics. Because in real life he would have cut himself to pieces and splattered all the kids watching with his blood. Which reminds me: you ever seen a magician f*** up cutting a woman in half at a friend’s Bar Mitzvah? Epic. Hit it for the video.

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Ninja Bear: Now With More Lightsaber Action

I don’t know what it is about this guy, but I really wanna throw a handful of change at him. Except not actual change, just a handful of washers. Then while Luke Panhandler there is scurrying around picking them up I’ll steal his lightsaber . Well, provided he hasn’t already pawned it to support his glitterstim habit. Kidding, kidding — that’s what Jedi blow-j’s are for. Flickr Thanks to Cowbell Fever, who, CRANK THAT BELL UP TO 11 AND BREAK OFF THE CLAPPER! Wait, no — better leave the clapper.

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I’d X-Wing A Quarter At Him: Homeless Jedi