So it was just announced that LEGO will develop breasts officially licensed Minecraft products after receiving 10,000 votes on the company’s ‘ make it a LEGO reality ‘ site LEGO CUUSOO. *starts petition for prehistoric dino playsets* We’re happy to announce that the Minecraft project on LEGO CUUSOO has passed the LEGO review and we are now developing a concept that celebrates the best aspects of building with the LEGO system and in Minecraft. We can’t wait to show it to you–but it isn’t ready just yet. These things take time, so we appreciate your patience. More details are to come. I mean that’s cool and all, I was just operating under the assumption that all LEGO sets were already Minecraft ones. I mean, look at the one some fan made above. WTF do you want — squarer blocks? There Will Be Official Minecraft Lego Sets [kotaku] Thanks to Kev, whose parents only let him play with DUPLO because he’s a piece eater. Ha, SAME.

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LEGO Developing Official Minecraft Sets

In other LEGO news, the company has acquired the rights to sell Lord of the Rings playsets starting next June to help compensate for the inevitable losses from their LEGO for girls sets. But fear not, I will buy said LEGO sets for girls and dump them all in a Toys For Tots bin next Christmas. “That’s very noble of you!” Yeah I’m a real prince — OF DARKNESS! MWAHAHAHA-HACK-COUGH *spitting up blood and ramen* Okay that was supposed to be more demonic and less “holy shit, is he dying? Should we call someone?” Warner Bros. Consumer Products has awarded the toymaker the rights to create action figures and playsets based on “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy and the two upcoming films based on “The Hobbit,” the first of which bows at the end of 2012. The multiyear deal grants Lego access to the library of characters, settings and stories of “The Lord of the Rings,” “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” and “The Hobbit: There and Back Again,” all helmed by Peter Jackson. No word if a series of LEGO video games will follow, but if I know one thing about Warner Bros., it’s they like money the company was founded by four Polish immigrant brothers named Wonskolaser. Why the hell would you change that?! Wonskolaser Bros. sounds awesome . Quick, soldiers — ready the Wonskolaser. PEW PEW PEW! Lego lands ‘Hobbit’ toy license [variety] Thanks to Capt. Tom Foolery, who once taped a ‘KICK ME’ sign to his first mate’s back. Oh you!

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LEGO Acquires Rights To Lord Of The Rings Toys

LEGO, realizing they dun goofed targeting their entire product line to boys , is releasing a line of playsets in 2012 targeted specifically to little ladies. It’s called ‘Friends’, which is a terrible name but I can look past that because I just saw a guy pushing an ice cream cart like a block further. *running out the door* Mickey face and an orange push-pop! Lego Friends features five female minifig characters who are — you guessed it — friends. Their occupations include designer, musician, veterinarian and inventor, and there are playsets for both home and work. Hey, anything’s better than playing with Barbie, amirite? WRONG. I know a lot of people want to give Barbie a bad rap for her unrealistic proportions and shit, but come on, I had some beefy looking G.I. Joe’s growing up and I’m fat as f*** right now. Never once have I starved myself or worked out in a gym. That’s all true. Besides, there are plenty of other things worse for a girl to be playing with. Namely: matches or a parent’s handgun. Food for thought. “You’re retarded.” They said only borderline! Hit the jump for a sampling of the future sets.

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LEGO ‘Friends’: A LEGO Toy Line For Girls

Because LEGO and Christmas go together like stirring peas & corn into instant mashed potatoes (aka shitter’s pie), a 33-ft LEGO Christmas tree was erected in London’s St Pancras (the patron saint of internal organs) station. And this is it. It’s tall and plastic. Me? I’m short and fleshy . Kidding, I’m tall and as handsome as a penis wearing a bow-tie. “And tuxedo?” Okay now you’re just being ridiculous. Hit the jump for a ton more pictures, at least one of which features an annoyed looking girl on a cell phone. It’s like a really shitty Where’s Waldo!

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London’s 33-Foot Tall LEGO Christmas Tree

Your barrel’s saggin’, bro. God, if I had a nickel for every time somebody told me my barrel was droopy I’d be pounding an Egg McMuffin right now. This is Nick Jensen and his 1:1 scale replica Halo: Reach LEGO sniper rifle . I…wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of it (butt or otherwise). Based on the Halo: Reach incarnation of the weapon, it’s 63 inches long, weighs over ten pounds and features a removable magazine, moving safety and sliding bolt (it doesn’t actually fire, though). It also took over four months to complete. Good lookin’, Nick. I’ve seen a lot of LEGO guns in my day, and let me tell you: don’t ever bring one to a knife fight. It may seem like a good idea if you’ve been drinking, but you WILL get cut, and you WILL bleed. You ever had a blood transfusion before? They filled me with Kool-Aid. Hit the jump for a couple more shots but follow the link for higher-res versions.

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Scale Replica Of Halo Sniper Rifle In LEGO

This is a clock made entirely out of LEGO /Technic pieces and two Mindstorms NXT micro-computers. Impressive, but I once made a clock out of nothing but the sun and a stick. Just kidding, that was a forest fire, but still. Mr. Andersson…calls his clock the Time Twister. It’s powered by two LEGO Mindstorms NXT micro-computers chatting over Bluetooth. The master NXT keeps track of the time, handles the minute digits and never pays the slave NXT, despite it’s important task of changing the hour digits as well as flashing the separator to indicate the second. No word if there’s an alarm option, but two plastic blocks knocking together probably wouldn’t wake you up anyways. Unless — UNLESS — they’re in the hands of a child. Kids can wake you up with anything, including a stare from across the room. They’re little devils! Hit the jump for a video of the clock in action.

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Impressive LEGO Mindstorm ‘LCD’ Clock

Because somebody has nothing better to do than build giant LEGO minifigs and dump them in the ocean , 8-foot tall ‘Ego Leonard’ (yes, he has a f***ing name) washed up on a Florida beach yesterday. No word if he was assaulted by any sharks on his trek, but hopefully he at least got to see some mermaid titties. *daydreaming* In my mind their nips look like sand dollars. The Lego man in Florida had his name written on the back of his plastic shirt above the number 8. On the front, the phrase “no real than you are.” Ego Leonard’s website shows that there are more Lego men just like him circumnavigating the globe in order to learn about our world and thoughts. “My name is Ego Leonard and according to you I come from the virtual world. A world that for me represents happiness, solidarity, all green and blossoming, with no rules or limitations. Lately however, my world has been flooded with fortune-hunters and people drunk with power. And many new encounters in the virtual world have triggered my curiosity about your way of life. I am here to discover and learn about your world and thoughts.” Wow, making up some hippy-ass stories for giant LEGO minifigs you dumped in the ocean? That is just… wow . Clearly SOMEBODY needs to find a new damn hobby. Get it? Me — I’ve been collecting boogers! Hit the jump for a video of a guy filming him and talking almost as much nonsense as the minifig itself.

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Stop Polluting Our Oceans!: Another 8-Ft LEGO Minfig Washes Up, This Time In Florida

Plumb B made this rubber-band-firing, full auto-capable chainsaw/assault rifle out of Lego, inspired by the Lancer Assault Rifle in Gears of War . ( via DVICE )

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Fully automatic Lego Gears of War rubberband assault rifle

Remember last week’s Dark Tower/Eye of Sauron LEGO build ? Well it turns out it traveled with friends to the 2011 Brickcon. These are them, starting with an absolutely massive ( like me ) Minas Tirith . I posted a couple more pictures after the jump, but you’ll have to check out the link for more steaming-hot action , including: Hobbiton The town of Bree and the Inn of the Prancing Pony Rivendell The mines of Moria Isengard and the tower of Orthanc The Golden Hall of Edoras The beacon towers Helm’s Deep The Pellinor Fields and Sauron’s armies Osgiliath Minas Morghul The Black Gate of Mordor Mount Doom And the tower of Barad-Dur Holy goggles that’s a lot of Lord of the Rings love. And, speaking of LOTR love — Merry and Pippin. They’re like, you know, really good bros that hold hands and kiss. I’ve got those. Hit the jump for a couple more, but make sure to check out the high-res versions by following the link.

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Now That’s A Playset: Huge LOTR LEGO Builds

When LEGOLand California General Manager Peter Rochetti came out to the parking lot to leave work for the day he found out his Volvo SUV had been replaced with a nonfunctional LEGO version. “Oh you guys! Are you guys messing with me again?! Because if I find out you actually sold my car and replaced it with a LEGO one I WILL F***ING FIRE YOU ALL AND BURN YOUR HOUSES TO ASH!!!! I think he had cocktails at lunch. The blue beauty was made of 201,760 pieces of lego and weighed 2,934 pounds, reports the LA Times. I love how he tries the door handle. Peter, please tell me you just wanted to see if there was an interior and not because you thought it was a real car. Because, I’m not gonna lie, that would be a bad sign for a guy running a multi-million dollar business. Also, “Don’t bother coming to work tomorrow.” Hit the jump for the short video.

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Oh You Guys!: LEGOLand General Manager Pranked With LEGO Version Of His Volvo