A southern California police department recently issued a public safety notice warning citizens to be on the lookout for any child-loving bears in the area. NOBODY GETS BETWEEN ME AND FREE CANDY! At one convention of IT enthusiasts the San Luis Obispo County Sheriff’s Department issued a notice warning parents about a man dressed as a bear. The public safety notice said: “The San Luis Obispo County Sheriff’s Department is warning parents about a disturbing new phenomenon made popular by pedophiles and sexual deviants. “The Pedo Bear began as an online Japanese cartoon character, and is known for his “lecherous nature” towards prepubescent children. “Recently, pedophiles have adopted the bear as a mascot. “Although there have been no reported sightings of the image on the Central Coast, individuals dressed in the bear costume and car decals have been seen in Southern California. Wow . I knew California government was in poor shape, but did the San Luis Obispo County Sheriff’s Department really just get internet service? Cause if so they are waaaaay behind on cute animal videos.. Police issue warning about ‘Pedo bear’ [telegraph] and Picture Thanks to Tom D and Kris, who won’t approach a strange van for anything less than an ice cream sandwich.

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LOLWUT?: California Police Issue Public Safety Notice About Pedobear ‘Mascot’

When it comes to taking down perps , you don’t always want to shoot them in the face and have their brains explode all over the wall. Wait — you don’t?! No, you don’t . Sometimes you’re gonna need to torture them first to gain vital information. Aaaaaah, right right right! Tactical Balls - Rolling Illumination and Disorientation Device. [TACTBAL] Designed for use by Law Enforcement agencies these tactical balls are switched on and rolled into an area to distract the culprit and give the police essential moments to move in and take whatever action they deem to be necessary. Supplied in sets of 3 with a belt pouch to house them, the tactical balls will each run for up to 20 hours on 2 x CR2032 batteries (supplied), delivering an output of > 13,000 MCD. I don’t know how bright 13,000 MCD is, but I guess it’s pretty bright. Still, what’s wrong with just using fireworks? That was a trick question, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with using fireworks. And that goes for replacing the candles on a birthday cake too. Now make a wish! I wish I could see again. Product Site Thanks to stubags, who distracts culprits with his actual balls. You can’t help but look!

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Surprise!: Non-Lethal Tactical Blinky Balls

That’s right folks, gang members are taking to popular social networking sites to brag about crimes, issue threats to rival gangs, and score bitches/drugs/skrilla. Basically everything Facebook and Twitter were invented for. When a gang member was released from jail soon after his arrest for selling methamphetamine, friends and associates assumed he had cut a deal with authorities and become a police informant. They sent a warning on Twitter that went like this: We have a snitch in our midst. “We are seeing a lot more of it,” Johnston said. “They will even go out and brag about doing shootings.” Gang use of Twitter and Facebook still lags behind use of the much-older MySpace, which remains gang members’ online venue of choice. Ah, I was wondering who still used Myspace. It’s the gangs, huh? I guess I better delete my old profile before somebody threatens to pop a cap in my ass. Just sayin’, I’m trying to keep this ass cap-free (can pull-tabs still okay). Gang members moving to Twitter, Facebook [msnbc] Thanks to FDSY, who had this to add, “LOL @ bloods. OMG those crips are str8 up d34d”

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Gang Members Increasingly Using Facebook And Twitter, Losing Significant Street Cred

Mario and Luigi , best known for plunging shitters and trying to save the Princess from the evil clutches of Bowser , have turned to a life of crime. Specifically, robbing cab drivers. What’s the Mushroom Kingdom coming to ?! At around 4 a.m. on November 1, presumably following a Halloween party, a Staten Island cab driver was assaulted and robbed by four men. It being Halloween, it may have been difficult for the victim to describe the assailants, but two of the men were wearing unmistakable costumes - Mario and Luigi. A surveillance video, which can be viewed on the NYDailyNews , shows two men dressed as Mario and Luigi wrestling a cabbie for his cash while a third man dressed in a tuxedo stood watch. Anybody with information about the true identities of the two has-been heroes should contact Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom. Oh, and tell her the GW sent you. She doesn’t know who I am, and I want you to look stupid. Men Diguised as Mario and Luigi Rob Cab Driver [tomsguide] Thanks to Brian, Aron, wes, Cyke101 and sham, who only cosplay for good.

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Mario And Luigi Rob Cab Driver In New York