This is a homemade pulse laser gun built by Patrick Priebe. The thing packs a 1-kW burst that can burn through plastic, foam and thin metals. Plus explode eyeballs . Just kidding, I don’t actually know that for a fact, I’m just assuming. Although I do encourage Patrick to make a trip to his local butcher to find out. And I’m not just saying that because I want him to pick up some pork chops for dinner tonight, because I don’t. I told you, I’m vegetarian. Or am I? Yes, I am. The bacon is a lie . Awh shit — Portal 2 spoiler! Hit the jump for a worthwhile video of the pews in action.

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Don’t You Point That Thing At Me!: DIY Pulse Laser Can Burn Through Plastic, Metal

Scientists at Yale University have developed a device capable of absorbing all the energy of an incoming laser , effectively saving your ass from an otherwise deadly robot laser blast. *ordering pew-proof pajamas* Give me a break, they’re all I wear! Kidding, kidding — just glasses and a scowl. Their device focuses two lasers beams of a specific frequency into a specially designed optical cavity made from silicon, which traps the incoming beams of light and forces them to bounce around until all their energy is dissipated. But this is not intended as a defence against high-power laser weapons, the researchers said. Instead they think it could be used in next-generation supercomputers which will be built with components that use light rather than electrons. Whoa whoa whoa — computers that use light instead of electrons?! We won’t even be able to call them electronics anymore! We’ll have to call them, uh…laseronics or something. Or, if that light happens to be coming out of the male-end of a CPU port: laser-dildonicz . What? OH DON’T ACT LIKE YOU KNOW HOW COMPUTERS WORK. Scientists build the world’s first anti-laser [bbcnews] Thanks to MannaFromKevin, David, mike and Keenra, who agree the only anti-lasers they need ARE THEIR FISTS. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

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PEW-Proof?: Scientists Develop ‘Anti-Laser’ Capable Of Canceling Out Laser Blasts

I don’t know about you, but I shoot to kill. Especially when it comes to protecting my castle (rent-controlled apartment). So I’m gonna have to pass on the Koosh bullets . AND seconds. Really, I’m stuffed. Lightfield has been selling these projectiles to law enforcement agencies and wildlife officials for years. Each round is filled with a soft projectile that resembles a koosh ball. They look like toys, because they’re made by a Chinese toy factory. The best thing about them is that they aren’t likely to kill someone even if they are fired at point blank range. They’re so soft that they’re almost incapable of penetrating the body. Eh. I’m a little hesitant to shoot toys at an intruder only to have them return fire with adult bullets. No, I think I’ll be sticking to my laser blaster, thank you very much. And I’m not just saying that because I accidentally glued it to my arm training for the robot wars, but that’s exactly what happened. A closeup of the projectiles after the jump.

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Home Protection: Kooshball Shotgun Shells