I bought a MacBook Air right when they came out but ended up breaking it over my knee after getting sick and tired of its weightlessness. My laptop needs some heft , dammit, I need to feel like I’m hauling some serious shit around (and not just 500GB of pr0n ). The solution? A laptop bag half-filled with cinderblocks. My God do I feel like a man now. Plus — PLUS — the computer itself is still light enough to perch on my knees when I’m on the john (like I am now). Anyway, *flushing* this is a video of some guy exploding a *spraying air-freshener* MacBook Air with M-1000’s. At first I thought the explosion * sniffing, spraying more air-freshener* would be disappointing, but it actually does a pretty good job. Since the release of the new second generation MacBook Air, there really is no use for the old one. So we put two M-1000 dynamite sticks we got from Chinatown inside of our newly obsolete Apple product. The results are quite explosive. Haha, I thought those were Chinatown M-1000’s! I could tell because legal ones can’t even blow the legs off insects. And not mutant ones either, I’m talking about regular-ass crickets. Also, I was lying about the whole owning a MacBook Air thing. I just said it to sound cool but having reread it I realize I sounded like a fart echoing off a hard plastic chair. Forgive me? Hit the jump for the explosive action.

Excerpt from:
Blowing Up A MacBook Air With Fireworks

The Dell Inspiron Duo: not only are it’s initials D.I.D., it’s a netbook and tablet all in one thanks to its unique swivel screen. Ten dollars says I break it the fist week. Fist week? I thought it was foot month! Boy, did Dell show just off the craziest device on stage at Intel’s IDF 2010 day two keynote. What started as a tablet device converted to a netbook just by opening to the keyboard and literally swiveling the screen from within the frame. This hybrid’s got a 10-inch screen, houses a dual-core Atom N550 and runs Windows 7 Premium…No price given and Dell isn’t providing us any more details, but it should be released by the end of this year. Damn, too bad I just hot-glued my iPad to my MacBook Air, amirite? Kidding, I don’t have an iPad or Macbook. What I do have is a library card, which entitles me to free computer use till 8PM. I’m bloggin’ from the berry, ya’ll! Dell’s Atom-powered Inspiron Duo: 10-inch netbook / tablet hybrid with a crazy swivel [engadget] Thanks to Marlene and christopher, who don’t like swivel stools because they get motion-sickness. Awh, bless your little vomity hearts.

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It’s A Netbook, It’s A Tablet, It’s A Transformer

Looking for that perfect MacBook sleeve that says, “I’m not just a creative , I’m a pretentious creative ?” Then you’re in luck. Also, probably not that creative. Burned you just got burned. Called the BookBook, this $79.99 case literally transforms your MacBook into “an antique leather-bound book.” Not just for looks, “its hardback sides with reinforced corners protect from impacts [and] the vintage designed spine provide crush protection.” Nice. Now when somebody breaks into your apartment to steal your first edition Shakespeare they’re actually getting your MacBook. Haha, the joke’s on them! This Vintage Book Is Your New MacBook Pro Case [iphonesavior] and BookBook Case Turns Your MacBook Into Leather-Bound Book [techeblog] Thanks to Michael and Erin, who have MacBook cases that look like large-print crossword puzzle books.

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Sneaky: That’s No Book, That’s A MacBook!

Yes, this ad shamelessly rips off Levi’s . Yes, the concept is silly. But, man, do I love it. Apparently much more so than our friends at Gizmodo and Gadget Lab, who aren’t too keen on the notion of catching a laptop in your buttocks. Lighten up, fellas! In fact, go watch some Tim & Eric (NSFW). [via Gizmodo via Gadget Lab ]

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Why I’m Buying An MSI Laptop

I’m pushing 30, which means I’ve officially entered that stage of life where self-preservation becomes less about avoiding pain, and more about boosting my chances of reproductive success*. In other words: regular health check-ups, infrequent jacuzzi and always a pillow or jacket between the MacBook and my precious, heat-sensitive manstuff . I tend to forget to use such protection, though. That’s why adding a ThermaPAK to my laptop bag seems like a no-brainer**. Small (13.5″ X 11.5″ X 0.5″), relatively lightweight (23 oz.) and reasonably-priced ($30), the pad contains “phase change material” crystals (sodium sulfate decahydrate), which melt to help absorb the heat output from a laptop battery, then crystallize back up when they cool after use. The quilted-like surface on the laptop side also comes into play. According to the manufacturer: ThermaPAK’s pad grooves channel air under the laptop, and use the second law of thermodynamics (which states that heat will tend to flow from hot areas to cold ones to reach equilibrium) to draw heat from the laptop. I can attest to the reduced heat. Last night I sat with the laptop in front of the TV and then in bed. No issues at all in terms of keeping my junk cool. The pad did it’s job and was mostly comfortable (feels similar to the lead apron you wear for dental x-rays, only lighter). However, that rigid surface is a tad on the slippery side. The first few times I leaned forward, my computer nearly flew off the pad. Not a deal breaker, but something to be aware of. The company claims these pads can extend your laptop’s battery life. My experience: at 10:43 pm, I had 19 minutes left on my battery. By 11:11pm, I had 8 minutes. At 11:16pm, 3 minutes (while running iTunes, Firefox and TweetDeck). How the pad may have affected my sperm count, I can’t say for sure. But piece of mind is irrefutable. *I don’t have children, but I do want at least one. **I’ve never used a USB fan, which is another option.

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Review: 1 Night w/the ThermaPAK Cooling Pad

First of all, I bet on baby races all the time ($40 on the bald one with a dirty diaper). And secondly, Kajus Auk?ionis recently won a Lithuanian baby race and is a super fast crawler . Not as fast as me, but I have a special skill set. But what gets young Kajus crawling so fast? Laptops . The little haxor loves those things and bolts to them whenever he sees one. It’s true, I heard one time he shat through his diaper in Best Buy he was so excited. Lithuanian Baby Racing Champion Mired In Performance-Enhancing Laptop Scandal [gizmodo] Thanks to ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, who may or may not have fallen asleep at the keyboard.

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Winner Of Baby Race Crawls For Laptop

Dripping candle is dripping. But seriously, I’ve been looking for a way to spice up the ol’ love life, and my hand doesn’t go numb anymore. So I’ve been thinking about ordering a hooker . I guess what I’m getting at is this: as a natural-born pyromaniac, is bring a flame into the bedroom safe? And, if so, what do you guys recommend? UPDATE : Hello, 911? YEAH — THERE IS A HOOKER ON FIRE IN MY APARTMENT! My name? My name is *click* Candle Fail [failblog] via In a Fight Between Candle and Laptop, Candle Usually Wins [gizmodo]

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Asleep At The Keyboard: Candle 1, Laptop 0