According to a recent article by MSNBC, this is a list of nine typically human jobs that robots are going to take over in the near-future, put you out of work , and make your whole family starve to death. That’s not fear-mongering either, that’s just the truth. You are officially f***ed if you’re one of the following. Drum-roll please: 1. Pharmacists 2. Lawyers and paralegals 3. Drivers 4. Astronauts 5. Store clerks 6. Soldiers 7. Babysitters 8. Rescuers 9. Sportswriters and other reporters If you follow the article back you can read the reasons why they believe robots will be taking over these particular professions, but that’s not what’s important. What’s important is if you happen to be currently practicing one, I strongly encourage you reconsider your career choice. Me? I’m an astronaut, so you can imagine how pissed I am. Literally, soaked . It’s all warm and I think the girls next to me at Starbucks are starting to smell it. Just smile and wave, GW, just smile and wave . *shrieking* Just gather your things and go, GW, just gather and go. Nine jobs that humans may lose to robots [msnbc] Thanks to meg, who agrees the only good robot is an unemployed one. “But GW, you know what they say — idle hands are the devil’s playground .” Really — they say that? I always thought idle hands were prone to masturbating.

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Nine Jobs Robots Will Steal From Humans

Note: This is neither full-size nor the whole chart, use the Force your mouse to click HERE and see the whole thing. Ever wonder where you’d fit in in the Star Wars employment universe ? SPOILER: Bantha fodder. Sorry, but we were all thinking it. Me? I’d probably be on the Jedi Council . Well at least until I got kicked off for ‘drinking too much’ and ‘trying to light a bong with a lightsaber’. “ANSWER ME — WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DO THIS STUFF?!” YODA, ALRIGHT?! I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YODA! What Would Your Job Be In The Star Wars Universe? Use This Flow Chart [nerdbastards] Thanks to Christine, who was really hoping to be a cocktail waitress at Mos Eisley.

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Great, I’m A Death Star Thermal Exhaust Port Operator: The Star Wars Jobs Flowchart

This is a video of ninja /sign-spinner Matthew Kermode. He can spin a sign like nobody’s business . But it is — he works for a sign-spinning business! Taking his headphones off to talk with us for a second, the sign samurai handed us a card out of his wallet: “Matthew Kermode — AArrow Sign Spinner, Spinstructor.” (Yes, “AArrow.”) He said he’s been doing this for 10 years now, translating his martial arts work to a more marketable skill. Kermode mostly works in the East Bay for the Martinez-based AArrow, spinning signs for housing developers. As far as who today’s client Jigsaw is, “I’m not 100-percent sure.” Kermode tried to be modest, saying he’s not the most talented spinner in the company. “We have a team of 15 guys right now and they all have talent. Different degrees of skill, but they all have talent.” He couldn’t have gotten the title “Spinstructor” for nothing. “…translating his martial arts work to a more marketable skill”??? What’s more marketable than STEALTH ASSASSIN-RY? I can’t think of anything. Well, besides handsome blogger. Yep yep yep, TONS of opportunity over here. The Amazing Spinning Sign Samurai Wows Fourth Street [sfweekly] Thanks to Rich the Destroyer, Bob the Builder’s mortal enemy.

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For When You Can’t Kill: Sign Spinning

NOTE: VIDEO IS CLEAN VERSION. UNCENSORED ONE AFTER THE JUMP. If you haven’t seen this already it’s the latest video from The Lonely Island’s album Incredibad . This particular ditty is called ‘Like A Boss’ and it’s all about a normal day in a boss’s life. It’s pretty much what I do everyday too, except I’m not responsible for managing anybody. I can barely manage my own penis! Now where is that guy? Make sure your mother isn’t standing behind you and then hit it for the dirty version!

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Awh Man, I Want To Be Like A Boss