Some moron decided it would be a good idea to attempt stealing holy gas from a church van. Only problem is, Jesus wasn’t having it . BURN HEATHEN, BUUUUURN! Blake King, 24, was reported in stable condition Wednesday in Vanderbilt University Hospital’s Burn Center. Evansville police report King was burned as he was using a cordless drill to drill into the gas tank of a 2001 Chevrolet van on the lot of Abundant Faith Church, 1228 Lodge Ave. Something sparked, according to the police report, catching the van on fire and burning King . The fire leaves the church without one of its two vans, which was supposed to help transport youth members to St. Louis this weekend. Officers arrived and found King, who told them he was burned when he stopped at 1228 Lodge Ave. to help another man who was on fire. Firefighters and fire investigators found a cordless drill next to the van. LOLWUT — cordless drilling a gas tank?!?! Let’s say you somehow managed to not set your dumbass on fire, what were you gonna do when the gas started flowing? Catch it in your mouth and spit it into a bucket? Okay that’s actually pretty good. Police: Man caught self on fire trying to steal gas from church van [courierpress] Thanks to Dakota, who tried electric drilling a dairy truck once and ended up with nothing but a milk mustache. I’m not gonna lie, you look handsome.

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Man Attempts Gas Theft From Church Van, Sets Himself, Van Ablaze

Still think it’s cool being a fanboy ? You’re one of him. iDouche [cheezburger] Thanks to cookies ‘n cream and Professor XXX, both of whom sound like porn stars. One possibly disabled.

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Can’t Possibly Do It Any Wronger: iPad Fail

This a computer model of Jesus’ face using information from the blood on the Shroud of Turin to create the image. He looks like somebody I know. The image has been created for the History Channel’s upcoming special, “The Real Face of Jesus,” which is set to air next week. Ray Downing, president of Studio Macbeth, explains how they recreated the “real” face of Jesus to the NY Post: “We ‘lifted’ the blood and isolated it [on the computer],” he said, ’so that would sit ‘in air’ [on a transparent background].” Interesting, Ray, but I’ve seen the “real” face of Jesus, and it didn’t require any technical computer mumbo-jumbo. No, it came to me in Flamin’ Hot Cheeto form and I ate the whole bag except for his face without getting diarrhea . There’s no doubt it was a miracle. The “Real Face of Jesus” (PHOTO) Revealed?! [postchronicle] Thanks to Pete, who once saw the face of God in a cloud before getting struck by lighting. Geez, you can’t look directly at him, Pete! Don’t you remember the Nazis in ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’?

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Computer Modeling: Is This Jesus’ Face?