This is a video of Mika explaining Star Wars: A New Hope . Mika is Japanese and practices her English by watching and explaining movies. If you like this one, there’s a bunch more, including The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi , Avatar, Inception, Spiderman and The Matrix. Hands down she does a better job that I could ever do. So there’s this one gold robot that talks all the time and is annoying as shit, right? And he hangs out with this other one that looks like a trashcan from the future and I don’t know if they’re in love or what but they definitely have SOME SORT of thing going on and then there’s this chick with cinnamon roll hair and she is like totally doable looking but if you saw her now in real life you’d be all HOLY SHIT WTF HAPPENED TO HER? It looks like time has been VERY unkind. Downright mean even. Okay, so I actually did better than I thought. Hit the jump for more movie spoilers than you could wave a Rosetta Stone CD at.

Continue reading here:
Japanese Girl Practicing English Explains Star Wars

SHAVE THAT NECK HAIR I CAN’T STOP STARING AT IT. Japanese beauty product manufacturers, thoroughly convinced people actually believe something that jiggles can tone and tighten muscles , are back at it, this time with the ‘Facial Lift At Once’. WTF is a Facial Lift At Once? I dunno, but I do know it makes you look you’re blowing a lightbulb! High-five, Uncle Fester — you know what I’m talkin’ about! Just slip the Facial Lift At Once into your mouth once a day for three minutes and you will feel the electric buzzing work on your cheeks, chin, lips, mouth and even nose. The pulsing will come in four different levels of strength and in a complete 360-degree spread, pushing and working on your facial muscles little by little every time. Not only will this give your face a boost “at once”, exercise and training couldn’t be easier than with this gadget. All you do is put on the mouth cover, pop it in your mouth and it does the hard work for you! If only running a marathon could be as easy! Yes, “if only running a marathon could be as easy”. Here’s an idea — how about you actually invent the automatic marathon runner INSTEAD OF A STUPID F***ING MOUTH-VIBRATOR?! Oh I’m sorry, am I making too much sense? “You’re way beyond making sense, GW — you’re makin’ dollas .” Haha, I am, aren’t I? *shaking money-maker* Keep those singles comin’, ladies! Product Site ($99!) via Facial Lift At Once [inewidea] Thanks to Gunslinger, who — you know you’re supposed to actually pull the trigger and not just throw them, right?

View original post here:
Another Vibrating Japanese Facelift Thingy

Woopsie daisy. The Japanese Aerospace Exploration Agency ( JAXA , despite the E in Exploration) attempted to insert a probe into Uranus’s core Venus’s orbit Tuesday but failed due to bad “orbit estimation”. No biggie, the probe can try again in six years provided the country’s not decimated by Godzilla in the meantime, which is a real possibility. Launched in May, Akatsuki was designed to orbit Venus for two years and study the sweltering planet’s weather using a suite of five cameras. Although Akatsuki [the probe] does not have enough fuel left to turn around, it has settled into orbit around the sun. That means JAXA can try again for orbital insertion around Venus when Akatsuki returns to the planet in six years. JAXA officials said in a press conference today that the likelihood of a successful insertion then is “high.” Uh, why was the likelihood of success not “high” this time, hmmmmm? Did you ever stop to think maybe Venus doesn’t want an alien probe all up in her privates taking video. And can you blame her? After all, she is the goddess of love and beauty. Which — DAMMIT JAPAN, WAS THIS GONNA BE A FETISH FILM?! Japan Probe Missed Venus–Will Try Again in Six Years [nationalgeographic] Thanks to Samuel & Daniel, who once peeked up Mars’ skirt and were surprised to see a giant cannon of a dong. You, uh, didn’t know he was the god of war, right?

Go here to read the rest:
Tokyo, We Have A Problem: Japanese Space Probe Misses Venus Orbit, Retry In 6 Years

Note: Video of the chart-bottoming performance after the jump. Can you tell which one is the robot ? SPOILER : back left. Just kidding, it’s the one with the silver legs , moron. Or is it? I thought they all were to be honest. If you’re just joining us, you may not have heard of Yamaha’s HRP-4C (older posts HERE , HERE and HERE ). Well here she is again, this time working it on stage Britney Spears style provided Britney is a no-talent hack who can’t do anything but waddle around on stage waving her arms, which is by far the most accurate comparison I’ve ever made. Now, does anybody else think there might actually be a person in that robot costume? Let’s set it on fire and find out. Hit the jump for the Japanese Pussycat Dolls.

Here is the original post:
GAH, BURN IT!: Japanese Singing/Dancing Robot (Now With More Back-Up Dancers!)

Did you know they make watermelon chillers? So did I, they’re called sytrofoam coolers filled with ice. But if you insist on being fancy-pants you can drop $230 on this thing. What is this thing? PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR ASS BLOWN AWAY ! (leaving your b-hole standing there confused why his cover just disappeared) Roundly it cools every as for “the cartridge” spring summer Siyuutou, according to season it warms with when OK. With outdoor furthermore showing the feature! As for the day when the summer is hot every in inserting the watermelon “the cartridge” roundly, in the sea bathing GO! Because it is cigar socket correspondence, in the car the [hi] it is to the core doing. And, in cold season as a warm warehouse warehouse large participation! If the can coffee and the tea, the meat [ma] and so on it is in you insert “the cartridge”, warm way it is possible with anytime to receive tastily. And, it can receive the new rice tastily by the fact that also the United States cools at fixed temperature. I have no idea WTF “the cartridge” is, but I want one. It sounds the lovechild of an Allspark and Arc Reactor. And with that kind of power– MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! — the world will be ours. Well technically mine, but I will make you a slave. Product Site via This Is the Watermelon Cooler You Were Looking For [wachovia] Thanks to fffffffffffffffffffffff, who cools watermelons the old fashioned way: liquid nitrogen. Ever shattered a tooth on a melon before? You will.

See the original post:
Dammit, Why Didn’t I Think Of That?: Futuristic Japanese Watermelon Coolers — On Wheels

Hanako is a Japanese robot patient used to train aspiring dentists . I don’t know about you, but if I was operating on that thing I would drill every single one of its teeth out sans drugs . Then crowbar it in the face and call its mother Robocop. Hanako will respond when greeted and asked several questions, and will react to the dental student working on its mouth. She can open and close her mouth when ordered, perform random actions such as a sneeze and even discharge saliva. Touch sensors in her mouth will have her wincing in pain if a press is too hard or an instrument goes somewhere it shouldn’t, or gag violently if things go south. “….if things go south”?!? I’m not putting my wiener anywhere near that thing! Hit the jump for a video of Hanako in action.

Read the original here:
Needs More Fillings: Robotic Dentistry Patient

This is a smattering of Pokmon characters drawn in a traditional Japanese style (high-res shot of more HERE ). The artist took the time to recreate all 151 original monsters though, so you’ll have to hit the link at the bottom if you gotta see ‘em all . See what I did there? That’s just one of the many services your GW offers. Also, spa treatments. Body massage? WHO WANTS A BODY MASSAGE? ????????????? [livedoor] (with a whole bunch more) Thanks to Ford and Shaun, who, get back in your balls!

See the original post here:
151 Pokmon In Traditional Japanese Style

For Pac-Man’s 30th anniversary a chain of convenience stores in Japan will be selling his likeness in the shape of questionably filled cookie buns. Mmmmmm!! Now call me old fashioned, but I still like to celebrate anniversaries the way God intended: with somebody jumping out of a cake. Yep, that’s right. For limited time only, Circle K stores in Japan have started to sell these Pac-Man shaped buns. My Japanese isn’t good (as in I can’t read it at all), but from what I can tell, they sell for 120 (about $1.31 USD), and they’re not filled with cherries, pretzels or power pills. Instead, they’re chock full of crushed almond-flavored cookies and cream custard. That actually sounds pretty good. Anybody in Japan want to send me some? I’ll pay you back — IN THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES. I will strike them down with my replica Master Sword and feast on their carcasses! I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL! Hit the jump for a shot of the display — cause you can get anything you want at Japanese Circle K’s.

See the rest here:
That….Looks Like S#!7: Pac-Man Cookie Bun

LED eyelashes are exactly what they sound like: LEDs that attach to your eyelashes and light up to freak everybody out. I would wear them but my eyes are perfect the way they are. Read: eyepatched . YAAAAARR! Now, somebody put my cutlass in my hand and point me toward the liquor store: I’m feeling plunder-y. Hit the jump for one more shot of the ridiculousness.

See more here:
LED Eyelashes: No, That’s Not Weird At All

Wow, they’re not even trying to make them look cute anymore. The Japanese born ROBOTOPS is a construction robot whose name is spelled in all caps because IT MEANS BUSINESS. The killing business. The four-legged, two-armed robot is actually a kind of automated mobile crane with 29 functioning joints for picking off humans, and of course the occasional piece of construction material. Using a high quality three-chip CCD camera, the robot can be operated remotely for particularly dangerous jobs. And no, I didn’t alter that quote at all. Finally, people are starting to get the picture. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one that sees a problem here. Seriously, Japan — you know I love you (manga, sushi, worn panty vending machines), but this shit has got to stop. Because if not, well, Godzilla . Just sayin’, we share a special bond (read: intercourse). Japanese construction firm unleashes insectoid robot crane on humanity [dvice] Thanks to cougar78, Aaron and John, who know the only good robots are the little guys from Batteries Not Included . Am I right? No, that was a test and you all failed.

Read this article:
No, No, No: Japanese Killer Construction Bot