Honey, I’m sorry, but I don’t even feel comfortable making love with those bottoms in the same room as me . Created by Pale Horse Design and sold by Iron Fist Clothing each matched bikini set ($30) is sure to shrink any man’s turtle at the beach even smaller than it already is (the water’s cold, God!). Because if I know women (and I know women), there’s one thing they’re looking for when swimsuit shopping : A BIKINI THAT’LL MAKE THEIR PRIVATES LOOK LIKE A F***ING MONSTER. *develops body-image issue* Product Site via Monster Bikinis of the Day [geeks.thedailwh.at] Thanks to Claire, who agrees topless is the new bikini.

Excerpt from:
Yikes: Monster Bikinis With Toothy Bottoms

Period Panties are $12 colored skivvies for ladies to wear while they’re on their monthly emotion-fest so they don’t ruin a pair of frilly lace ones. Or something. Honestly, I don’t know anything about women and only learned last week vaginas aren’t oriented sideways like I always imagined. So yeah, I’m probably the wrong person to ask for stuff like this. For directions, sure, but I am going to send you into the worst part of town I can think of. Which, fun fact: is my neighborhood. Then I’ll follow you on my bike and beat you up and steal your hubcaps. I’MMA SELL ‘EM FOR CRACK! Hit the jump for the two other designs and a link to the product site.

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You Don’t Even Want To Know: Period Panties

Is there anything sexier than a grandma strip-dancin’ ? Yes, every single thing in the world including being compacted to death in the back of a garbage truck. But for the six of you out there that are into crimes against nature , there’s the $115 Cushion-Grip Security Pole Mobility Aid. How about a review? The user needs this device to assist in getting in and out of bed safely. It has a nice cushion grip, is attractive, and easy to install. It is not as sturdy as I would have hoped it would be. It wiggles a bit in the middle and that makes me a bit nervous. But I like a little wiggle in the middle! No, no I don’t either. I like zero wiggles. Still, you’ve got to admit the thought of a grandma seductively gyrating her sloopy ass off the shitter does get you hot and bothered. No? Just cold and throwy uppy? Oh. Product Site Thanks to Eric-tile, who may or may not volunteer at a nursing home.

Read more from the original source:
Sexy Time!: Stripper Poles For The Elderly