Mike Duke, who might have the simplest name ever, modded his late-model Mercury Cougar (which I used to own back in 2001 before sliding it off an icy road , wrapping it around a couple trees and winding up in the ICU for 11 days) into a Bugatti Veyron . Basically by fabricating a giant body kit . Now I know what you’re thinking, and it’s true: you almost lost your Geekologie Writer before you even knew him. Petrolhead Mike Duke, 25, spent nine months transforming his Ford Cougar into a red and black imitation of the 1,000bhp motor. A specially-designed bodykit makes it indistinguishable from a 1million Veyron and the interior has been re-styled and covered in leather. But the engine is the Cougar’s standard 2.5 litre V6 model, meaning its power falls well short of the 1,000bhp developed by the Veyron’s 8-litre powerplant. This means 0-62mph in 8.2 seconds and a top speed of 140mph - a way off the Veyron’s 2.5 seconds and 253mph. Why? Why do single men do anything — to trick women into coming home with them. *fumbling around with keys, finally opens door* “This apartment is dingy.” It’s a safehouse baby, I’m hiding out. “Driving that sports car?” I’m a spy, and spy’s drive fancy cars. “Who are you?” Duke, Mike Duke — Her Majesty’s Secret Service Center and Autobody Repair. Hit the jump for several more shots of the in-process and a couple more angles of the finished product PLUS A LINK TO THE EBAY AUCTION WHERE YOU CAN BUY THE THING ($89K) AND LIVE THE DREAM.

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Man Convincingly Mods $2,000 Mercury Cougar Into $2Million Bugatti Veyron Lookalike

Seen here beckoning your wiener to an untimely dismemberment, robotic dental patient Showa Hanako 2 (Showa Hanako 1 here ) opens wide for the camera. Now quick — toss a stick of dynamite in there and duck behind the x-ray shield! …this humanoid was originally developed last year as a tool for dentists looking to practice new procedures. Now, engineers at Japan’s Showa University have updated their dental denizen, adding a motorized head and replacing her PVC skin with a more realistic silicon coating. She also boasts speech recognition capabilities and can execute freakishly natural movements, including blinking, sneezing, coughing and, under more unsavory circumstances, even choking. So yeah, basically she’s a sex robot flying under the radar as a dental patient. Nice try, Japan! Did I mention one time I chiseled a wisdom tooth out with a fork because I was convinced there was a piece of melted plastic stuck to it? 100% true story. Yes, I ate plastic. Hit the jump for a video of little Miss Brushnfloss in action.

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Dynamite, STAT!: A Robotic Dental Patient

J&D’s, the same company that brought us bacon mayonnaise , bacon lip balm , bacon envelopes and bacon popcorn , is back at it, this time with huffable bacon-flavored oxygen. But, before I go any further, TOMORROW IS APRIL FOOLS’ DAY — don’t let anybody fool you. So on that note, this is probably fake. Oooooooor it could be real. God knows I’ve already seen even crazier shit this week (a stray cat f***ing a dog on a leash). Allegedly the product was inspired by these huffable chocolates and is shipping soon for $9. *reading product site* “95% pure Himalayan oxygen”. FAKE! FAKE AS HALF THE TITS IN HOLLYWOOD. Still, if it turns out not to be you should definitely only use it after igniting the spray. You know, for that authentic smoked bacon flavor. Kidding, I want you to melt your face off. News report and link to iffy product site after the jump. Feel free to fool your friends (they’re all dicks anyways).

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FINALLY — Huffable Meat: J & D’s BaconAir

Apparently a new rent-a-girlfriend (not to be confused with rent-a-gamerfriend ) website in France is causing a stir, with some claiming it’s a glorified escort service, and others claiming it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to them. Spoil yourself, rent a girlfriend! This is the line French site Loueunepetiteamie.com uses to convince male visitors to legally rent a female friend, for an hour, an evening, a night or for a weekend. Tired of being alone? Are you looking for a female companion who can spoil you and make you feel relaxed? Have you tried a bunch of dating sites that left you disappointed? Don’t worry, help is just a few clicks away - Loue Une Petite Amie, which translates as “rent a little girlfriend” actually allows guys to rent female companions, legally! The French website assures its clients they have nothing to fear from the law, because this isn’t actually prostitution, but a simple case of renting a person…which apparently isn’t illegal in France. Loue Une Petite Amie — “rent a little girlfriend”, that’s cute. But if you sign up and they send you anybody taller than a stepping stool I’d be piiiiiiiiiiissed. YOU SAID LITTLE, I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING A SMURF. 3 CRAB-APPLES HIGH DAMMIT! Controversial Rent-a-Girlfriend Website Proves Big Hit in France [odditycentral]

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French ‘Rent-A-Girlfriend’ Website A Success

Note: Worthwhile larger version HERE . This is an animated gif that makes the sun appear 3-D . Also, blue . While interesting, what’s even more interesting is the UFO that keeps blinking in the bottom right corner. I suspect they’re siphoning off our sun’s energy like I do my neighbor’s gastank. No wonder our solar cells blow! Picture [wikipedia] Thanks to Mr. KNUCKLES, who, AGAIN WITH THE INSULTS! *beating with gauntlet* It’s on, Nancy-Pants!

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Why So Blue?: The Sun Gettin’ His Swerve On

This is a short video (WHICH COULD HAVE BEEN EVEN SHORTER — skip to 1:30 for the good stuff to start) created from a series of HDR time-lapse photographs by Patryk Kizny called ‘The Chapel’. The star of the film is, get this — an old chapel . One that’s falling apart in Poland . HA! What isn’t falling apart in Poland? Filmed in Zeliszw, Poland, the chapel shown in the video is actually a real one built in 1796-1797 and designed by Karl Langhans. I’m not gonna lie, I’d still live there with trees growing in it and everything. Sure there are holes in the roof, but I’ll just pretend they’re skylights . Which, technically, they are. Plus if it gets cold in the winter I’ll just burn part of the building! “Uh, GW — doesn’t that sound dangerous?” No. Running across the street blindfolded and covering your ears sounds dangerous, that sounded smart. “Ha, whatever you say.” I’M THE WORLD’S GREATEST LOVER — YOU AGREED! Hit the jump (and don’t forget to skip to 1:30) for the magic.

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Admit It! Admit It’s From The New Uncharted!: HDR Timelapse Looks Like Video Game Scene

This is a functional witch’s broom bicycle . If you look under the seat, you can see the broom has actually been rigged to steer the damn thing. Which, no doubt, obviously involved some clever engineering witchcraft. Whatever the case, I think we can all agree the party responsible should be drowned in a lake. Muggle Magic of the Day [thedailywh.at] Thanks to Carly, who was once accused of being a witch but cast a spell of pestilence on those who started it and they all died. JESUS!

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Burn Her At The Bike Rack!: Witch’s Bicycle

This is a bunch of superheroes minimalized to their bare identification necessities . Can you name them all? I couldn’t. I’m still convinced half of them are breakfast cereal mascots. I SEE YOU, COUNT CHOCULA! You too, Quaker Oat-man. Illustrator Fabian Gonzalez strips comic book characters down to their bare essence in his clever new graphic Minimalism Heroes. The 30-year-old freelance designer, who says he grew up on Marvel and DC Comics, created the image for a T-shirt competition. In honor of his favorite superhero, Gonzalez placed an instantly identifiable icon in the upper left-hand corner. “Batman was the superhero that originally got me hooked…” There’s a key after the jump in case you want to see how well you did, as well as for those of you that didn’t even bother trying because you’re so damn lazy. And for that, I salute you. Or at least I would if it didn’t involve so much arm lifting. Hit the jump for the answer-key.

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You’re Barely Super!: Minimalist Superheroes

Man, scientists be all kinds of pissin’ me off lately. I may have to start siding with the Juggalos on this one. Thing is, I really don’t know how magnets work. I always thought there were tiny wizards in there. Anyway, a group of Slovenian “scientists” are ignorning Asimov’s first rule of robotics and having a robot punch the shit out of humans. Possibly literally! (I know I would) There [Slovenia], a powerful robot has been hitting people over and over again in a bid to induce anything from mild to unbearable pain …. But the robo-battering is all in a good cause, insists Borut Pove, who has ethical approval for the work from the University of Ljubljana, where he conducted the research. He has persuaded six male colleagues to let a powerful industrial robot repeatedly strike them on the arm, to assess human-robot pain thresholds. It’s not because he thinks the first law of robotics is too constraining to be of any practical use, but rather to help future robots adhere to the rule. “Even robots designed to Asimov’s laws can collide with people. We are trying to make sure that when they do, the collision is not too powerful,” Pove says. “We are taking the first steps to defining the limits of the speed and acceleration of robots, and the ideal size and shape of the tools they use, so they can safely interact with humans.” Really? The University of Lubjubjama? Because based on the name alone I’m not sure they have the authority to be passing out ethical approvals. OR diplomas. Flyers for a furniture liquidations sale maybe . Robot arm punches human to obey Asimov’s rules [newscientist] and Robots learning our pain threshold by punching humans and seeing if they cry [engadget] Thanks to Jon, Dj Azer, EroticHamster, Kevin, Juan, Oli4, Kara and Schmitty, who would knock a robot’s block off before ever getting punched by one.

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You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me!: Scientists Experiment With A Human-Punching Robot

Wonderful news: apparently my only remaining love in life might be slowly killing me. That’s right — box-springs may act as giant radiation-spewing antennas, filling our bodies with the nasty while we sleep . And all this from trying to figure out why breast cancer is 10% more likely to appear in the left boobie than the right. GOD, JUST TAKE ME NOW! *eying margarita on nightstand* Whoa whoa whoa, not so fast big guy — I’ve been saved. The research, carried out by Hallberg Independent Research and the Karolinska Institute, both in Sweden, attempts to correlate the fact that most people tend to sleep on their right side and that the length of a box spring mattress in America is exactly the right length to make it act as an amplifier for FM and TV waves. “Thus, as we sleep on our coil-spring mattresses, we are in effect sleeping on an antenna that amplifies the intensity of the broadcast FM/TV radiation,” writes Scientific American. “Asleep on these antennas, our bodies are exposed to the amplified electromagnetic radiation for a third of our life spans.” The radiation would be the strongest almost a meter above the surface of the box spring, which would mean that the side of your body that you’re not sleeping on would get hit the hardest. In most cases, that’d be your left. Sounds pretty convincing, doesn’t it? Too bad it’s all fake research. I’ve got two words for you: Tempur-Pedic conspiracy . Kidding, I’m not really one of those crazy conspiracy theorists (It’s those asshats over at Sleep Number and I know it!). Great, even our beds could be causing cancer [dvice] and Your Boxspring Could Be Acting as a Gigantic, Cancer-Causing Radiation Antenna [gizmodo]

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Of Course, The One Thing I Love Is Killing Me: Beds May Emit Raditation, Cause Cancer