AHAHHAHAHHAHA — that’s right by my house! Microsoft recently patented a feature for GPS systems that allows pedestrians to choose a walking route that avoids crime-ridden and bad-weather areas and a bunch of folks are getting up in a huff about it because some jackass at CBS News Seattle dubbed it the “avoid ghetto” feature and now everybody thinks that’s what it’s called. You dummies. More from a document filed with the United States Patent and Trademark Office: “A route can be developed for a person taking into account factors that specifically affect a pedestrian,”such as being in an unsafe neighborhood or in an area subject to harsh temperatures. “What is unclear, at least from my reading of the patent — which isn’t written by anything resembling a human hand or mind — is what kind of crime statistics the GPS might choose to use,” writes Chris Matyszczyk of CNET. Granted it would be Microsoft’s responsibility to be diligent about the type of information they use to dub an area unsafe, but I really don’t this is that bad an idea. I’d probably walk eight extra blocks to avoid an area notorious for muggings. I bet if it was nicknamed the “Batman’s Parents Memorial App” people wouldn’t be having such a f***ing problem with it. Microsoft’s ‘avoid ghetto’ patent destined for failure? [washingtonpost] Thanks to GW’s Lover, who — oh God please tell me I’m not a disappointment.

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Microsoft’s GPS ‘Avoid Crime-Ridden Areas’ Feature For Walkers Raises A Stink (Then Go Get Mugged!)

This is an allegedly screener footage from a “dark and gritty” live-action Pokemon movie that surprisingly has a lot of guns in it. I have no idea if it’s real or not, so I’m just gonna copy/paste the email sent to Shogungamer and let you decide for yourself. You’re a big boy, you can make decisions! Subject: [News Tip] Pokemon Live Action Movie Trailer Cam From: ProfessorOak@PalletTown.com Date: September 14, 2010 1:59:19 AM PDT (CA) Professor Oak sent a message using the contact form at http://www.shogungamer.com/contact. I’ve been lurking this site for a while and I wanted to see if you were interested in posting this video I captured tonight. Today after work my friend and I were invited to view a “secret movie trailer screening.” We were not told what it would be, but when I got there 30 other people and myself were shown a trailer for a Pokemon live action movie. It was super sketchy but I decided to record the last 30 seconds or so of the trailer which was about 3 min long. The clip is in a zip file and the password is “gottacatchemall.” I can’t give you much more detail then this. I wasn’t supposed to film this, but holy shit it was awesome. I’ll be in touch with you guys when I can talk more about it. [SendSpace.com URL Removed] ~Professor Oak I dunno Professor Oak, this all seems kinda sketchy. I’m afraid we’re gonna have to get another professor involved. Layton! Enough diddling your Justin Bieber poster — we’ve got a case to crack. UPDATE : A Geekologie informant who knows someone involved in the production clarified the movie is, in fact, fan-made. Hit the jump for the “WTF did I just watch?”

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Gotta Secretly Record ‘Em All!: Alleged Live-Action "Gritty" Pokemon Trailer

So I’m in Manhattan Beach waiting for some wine and cheese festival to begin (because I’m classy as shit free booze) and thought to myself, “self, you should really go the closest bar and write Geekologie articles until the wine starts flowing. You know, get a head start on the festivities.” BOOM — here I am! Popsicle handguns: they teach kids about gun safety. In 2003, Florian Jenett and Valentin Beinroth placed about 50 handgun replicas in downtown Frankfurt. The guns were made from tinted ice, making them look real at first sight. In 2009 they did a new edition of their Freeze! project but made the guns eatable by using coke, licorice, cherry and food coloring. I can hear the soccer moms screaming in outrage even as I type this. It’s like music to my ears . That said, you really shouldn’t encourage children to put gun-shaped objects in their mouths. Paint chips and LEGO blocks, sure, but guns? Not cool . Also not cool: this beer I’ve been drinking. Shit’s hotter than demon urine. OMG — I picked up somebody’s leftover . I was wondering why there was a napkin in the glass! Hit the jump for three more incredibly sensual shots, including a chick that looks like that chick that pretended to be a dude in that one movie.

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Pull The Trigger, DO IT!: Popsicle Handguns

Allegedly this is a picture of the internet (high-res version HERE ). Only thing is, I freaking live in the internet and it doesn’t look all that familiar. I mean, where are all the naked ladies? Everybody knows the internet is at least 40% naked ladies. AND men. I just shy away from the men areas. No, no I don’t. BECAUSE I’M OPEN MINDED. The Internet: The Picture [buzzfeed] Thanks to Drew, who knows the internet is predominately tubes. Gerbil tubes . It’s basically a giant Habitrail.

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Questionable: A Picture Of The Internet