AHAHHAHAHHAHA — that’s right by my house! Microsoft recently patented a feature for GPS systems that allows pedestrians to choose a walking route that avoids crime-ridden and bad-weather areas and a bunch of folks are getting up in a huff about it because some jackass at CBS News Seattle dubbed it the “avoid ghetto” feature and now everybody thinks that’s what it’s called. You dummies. More from a document filed with the United States Patent and Trademark Office: “A route can be developed for a person taking into account factors that specifically affect a pedestrian,”such as being in an unsafe neighborhood or in an area subject to harsh temperatures. “What is unclear, at least from my reading of the patent — which isn’t written by anything resembling a human hand or mind — is what kind of crime statistics the GPS might choose to use,” writes Chris Matyszczyk of CNET. Granted it would be Microsoft’s responsibility to be diligent about the type of information they use to dub an area unsafe, but I really don’t this is that bad an idea. I’d probably walk eight extra blocks to avoid an area notorious for muggings. I bet if it was nicknamed the “Batman’s Parents Memorial App” people wouldn’t be having such a f***ing problem with it. Microsoft’s ‘avoid ghetto’ patent destined for failure? [washingtonpost] Thanks to GW’s Lover, who — oh God please tell me I’m not a disappointment.

Visit link:
Microsoft’s GPS ‘Avoid Crime-Ridden Areas’ Feature For Walkers Raises A Stink (Then Go Get Mugged!)

Sure it may LOOK like a giant blue dildo with legs, but looks can be deceiving. Except in this case, because that’s a walking shlong if I’ve ever seen one (and I have — lots ). The inflatable Ant-Roach robot was designed to carry passengers on the ride of a miserable lifetime, all the while with the sound of a loud-as-f*** air-compressor running in the background. Wow, did we all fall asleep and wake up in the future or what?! Hit the jump for a video of the blow-up bot in action.

Originally posted here:
Absolutely Not: The Inflatable Ant-Roach Robot

This is a chunk of pork that’s been pressed into the shape of Babe and sold as a ‘Mini Piglet’. Presumably to remind you you’re eating more than just ground-up assholes. Pork Molded into a Piglet Is Disgusting and/or Awesome [gizmodo] Thanks to Barry, who has a hard time eating things that are staring back at him. Really? *drawing eyes on ice cream sandwich* …You gonna finish that?

Read this article:
Thanksgivingless: Pork Pressed Into Shape Of Piglets

You’re riding it wrong. Toyota teamed up with bicycle-maker Parlee to develop a bike with gears you change with your mind . The future is now! Jk jk, if the future were now our transportation wouldn’t even have wheels. Before riding while using its mind-reading capabilities, a cyclist needs to train the bike to read his mind. Its “thought sensitive” helmet picks up brain waves, which are transmitted to the bicycle’s brain-controlled electronic “neurotransmission. ” The cyclist acquaints brain with bike by practicing with an experimental iPhone app, moving a cube on its screen until the neural technology associates that thought with the neurotransmission. Once the link is made, all the cyclist has to do is think in that way and the bike’s gears will shift accordingly. You know, or you could flick the little levers with your thumbs. “THAT’S ARCHAIC!” You’re right. God, what was I thinking? STUPID STUPID STUPID! Hit the jump for a video of the bike build and a short demo.

Read more:
Changing Bike Gears WITH YOUR MIND

You look great, really. The Panasonic LUMIX FX77 is a 12.1-megapixel picture-taker with a twist . Just kidding, it doesn’t have a literal twist because that would make for one awkward shaped camera ! Like a penis that was put on upside down but with less hitting-so-close-to-home because I know you told me that in confidence (SORRY!). Anyway, the $400 soul-stealer has a touchscreen makeup studio app built in that you can use to slap on some lipstick or rose your cheeks after taking a picture. Still won’t fix that wonk-eye though! (It’s cool I have one too) After you’ve taken a shot, you can use the 3.5-inch display to add makeup to your subjects, smearing rouge and lip gloss with a fingertip. It’s undoubtedly handy if you’ve always wanted to see what your father looks like wearing mascara, but never quite built up the courage to ask. Otherwise there’s HDMI connectivity, an SDXC memory card slot, optical image stabilization and Leica optics with a 5x optical zoom. It’ll also shoot HD video Alternatively, Photoshop the pictures after downloading them to your computer LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. Then, crop your gut out and post that shit on Facebook to trick all the people you went to highschool with into thinking you’re fit now. Girl, how you gonna have two-hundred pictures of nothin’ but your face — ARE YOU JUST A HEAD IN A JAR?! Hit the jump for a shot of the application in use and a very short commercial.

Follow this link:
New Digital Camera Lets You Add Makeup

Seen here looking suspiciously like the lovechild of Hunter S. Thompson and Hitler, a man demonstrates his ‘DoubleGlock Machine Pistol’ (aka the ‘Doppleglock’). Whatever you do, don’t tell the gansters — they love holding them guns sideways! And not just because it makes the recoil awkward and aiming impossible, but…actually, I don’t know why they do that. Because you were gonna end up shooting a bunch of bystanders anyways? 2PAC LIVES! Hit the jump for one more shot of dude showing off his custom holster and 1/3 white mustache.

See the original post here:
Double The PEWsure, Double The Fun: Conjoined Twin Glocks With Scope

The Pseudomorph dress is the brainchild of Dutch fashionista (damn yeah I use words like that!) Anouk Wipprecht. As the dress is worn, it colors itself with dripping ink. How exactly does it work ? Well let me tell you copy/paste something. *ahem* Today was a sad night. I rearranged all my bath salts on the side of the tub and then made a microwavable burrito. Even though I turned it every 30-seconds, it still came out frozen in the middle. I think I chipped a tooth. Then, when I out having my nightly cry on the balcony, I saw a bird get hit by a car. Woops, that was my diary. Oooh — here we go: [Wipprecht] came up with a unique way to keep women fashion forward by creating a system of pneumatic control valves within a neck-piece that pump ink designs into absorbent dress material. The electronic circuits fitted on the back of the neck-piece are powered by a single 9 Volt battery. Anybody else find it a little too coincidental that the designer’s name is Wipprecht, which — now hear me out — is eerily similar to Rorschach , maker of the famous inkblot tests? No? Not really that similar? But both of their things use ink! I’M DRAWING SOME SERIOUS PARALLELS OVER HERE! “Jesus, stop wake-and-baking, GW.” Oh now you’re just being mean. Also, that dress looks straight out of a Maxi-Pad commercial. Hit the jump for a video demonstration of haute couture being made.

Excerpt from:
Ladies?: Dress Colors Itself With Dripping Ink

This is a print ad for the new Volkswagen Fox touting an all new, redesigned interior (then why is there still a steering wheel ?!). Unfortunately, it looks like they put it on the wrong side. You gonna be sittin’ on a tire with a windshield wiper for a seatbelt! Inside Out Car [gizmodo] Thanks to Jose, who doesn’t drive a car, he drives women wild . Yeah you do!

See more here:
Let Me Guess — You Swung Over The Bar: Inside-Out Car Looks Hard To Keep Clean

Damn, how sexy is that?! If you answered, “wow, not one bit, I think I even vomited a little”, congratulations, you might still have some taste and decency after all. I always thought iPhones were feminine anyways with their smooth lines and all. No, the last phone made with any REAL balls was my old Pronto pager. That thing was a hoss! Besides, what happens if you accidentally lick your iPhone’s balls when you’re making a call? You look super gay. Well … this just disturbs the piss out of me. [hothotjapanhot] via iPhone balls? [buzzfeed]

See the original post here:
I Don’t Get It, I Really Don’t: iPhone Ballz