Real Vampires Suck Homeless Man’s Blood

Proving that real vampires aren’t attractive and that Edward Cullen character is just a guy who spends waaaay too much time in the makeup aisle at Target, come these two real-life vampires . Apparently they had some deal worked out with a homeless guy to occasionally suck his blood in return for shelter, but one day Homeless Joe decided he wasn’t having it anymore. And that’s when things got really interesting (like they weren’t already!). Recently, however, Mr Mayley decided that he would take himself off the menu for 24-year-old Aaron Homer and 21-year-old Amanda Williamson, who sometimes let Mr Mayley reside in their property. Unfortunately, the blood-sucking duo was not willing to dine out that evening and the couple attacked Mr Mayley despite his protests. According to reports, instead of allowing Mr Homer and Ms Williamson to feed off his bloodstream, Mr Mayley sought to verbally mock the pair, which was arguably not very sensible in the circumstances. Taking objection to Mr Mayley’s rejection and cruel taunts, Mr Homer is alleged to have armed himself with a knife and viciously stabbed the homeless man. It has been suggested that, in the process of defending his partner’s honour, Mr Homer was keen on acquiring a free lunch. However, the feast was cut short when police officers attended the scene after being called out by concerned firefighters, who were in the neighbourhood on an emergency call and happened to notice a trail of blood outside Mr Homer’s home. Hoooooooly shit! Now I’m not saying the Twilight series is to blame here, but you and I both know it is. How long do you really think a Twihard can go before they start getting curious about blood-glugging? Because I already read one story about a girl making out with her husky pretending it was Jacob, so you know it can’t be long (I bit my brother halfway through the second chapter). Homeless Man Stabbed by ‘Vampires’ [first4lawyers] and Blood-sucking ‘vampires’ arrested for attacking homeless man with knife in Arizona, police say [nydailynews] Thanks to Melissa, who wooden stakes strangers in the heart just to see if they’re vampires. You, uh, do know that’ll kill humans too, right? Just kidding!

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Real Vampires Suck Homeless Man’s Blood

Bookmark Geekologie!: Homeless Computing

Living in LA, I’m no stranger to the homeless . Like, literally — they’re my kind of people: crazy as f*** and willing to piss on anything . That said, dude you got a Dell ! I would have opted for a refrigerator box , but hey, to each their own. One time I traded a clove to a bum for a cupped handful of cognac. True story. He May Be Homeless, But At Least He Has Facebook [gizmodo] Thanks to zombiepartz, who once gave a bum $4 and told him to spend it all on booze. I do the same!

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Bookmark Geekologie!: Homeless Computing

I’d X-Wing A Quarter At Him: Homeless Jedi

I don’t know what it is about this guy, but I really wanna throw a handful of change at him. Except not actual change, just a handful of washers. Then while Luke Panhandler there is scurrying around picking them up I’ll steal his lightsaber . Well, provided he hasn’t already pawned it to support his glitterstim habit. Kidding, kidding — that’s what Jedi blow-j’s are for. Flickr Thanks to Cowbell Fever, who, CRANK THAT BELL UP TO 11 AND BREAK OFF THE CLAPPER! Wait, no — better leave the clapper.

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I’d X-Wing A Quarter At Him: Homeless Jedi

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