Because themed engagement photos are all the rage these days (you crazy kids!), Geekologie Reader Sean K. and his bride-to-be decided to spice up their photoshoot in the park with a ninja attack . Aaaaaaaand these are those pictures. Because if there’s one thing that brings a couple closer, it’s killing a complete stranger together. Trust me (one time a date and I accidentally ran over a bum and she wanted to drive straight to Vegas to tie the knot). Hit the jump for several more of the battle, but be sure to check out the link to the photographer’s Flickr for the entire set (which may or may yes include a vagrant checking the dead ninja’s pockets for cash!).

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Martial Arts Marriage: Ninja Attack Engagement Photos

This is a video of a praying mantis ( Idolomantis Diabolica — the Devil’s Flower Mantis) showing off his ninja-ing skills on some dude’s thumb . Honestly, I can’t even believe this thing exists in real life. Of course I said the same thing about Double-Stuffed Oreos , and yet there they are, soaking at the bottom of my milk glass. Hit the jump for the what you get when an insect LITERALLY pollinates a flower.

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Ninja Praying Mantis Battling A Guy’s Thumb

Note: I know that screencap looks pretty booboo but I promise the video is actually cool. Hit the jump to watch it. This is a video of a samurai fighting some sort of shadow spirit made out of CG crows or some shit. I’m not really sure, but eventually it takes the form of the samurai’s shadow and he has to cut that f***er’s head off. It’s basically just a choreographed dance to a video being projected, but definitely still cool to see. Also, in your neighbors’ window when they’re changing. DAMN THAT’S ONE HAIRY ASS! Oh, wait a minute — now there’s two hairy asses. Aaaaaand they’re touching. Okay, so they might not be brothers after all. Hit the jump for the worthwhile video.

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COOOOL!: Samurai Shadow Sword-Fighting

Remember the Street Fighter IV ultra combos video from a couple weeks ago? Pretty awesome, right? Yeah, TOO BAD IT WAS A TOTAL SAUSAGE LUNCHEON. So to make up for all the man-meat, the creators decided to shoot another video featuring ladies bringing the pain to a bunch of goofuses. How these dudes even got in the Street Fighting league is beyond me, but I suspect it has something to do with having a rich uncle alumni. Which, fun fact, is the only way half our youth is going to get into college after filling out their entrance essays in text-talk. Just watch, in twenty years there won’t even be any new scientists. Strippers and cheap laborers, yes. “I’m cool with that.” Oh I know you are, buddy. “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.” HA! You do realize you just admitted you’re still a one-off, right? Hit the jump for the femme fatales in action.

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Street Fighter Ultra Combos: Now With Ladies

Want a wedding band created using the same ‘mokume gane’ technique as authentic samurai swords ? You’re in luck! But also out of luck because you’re getting married . There’s only one way out of this: I’m gonna have to cut your ring finger off. Ready? HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YA! *you bleeding* Perfect, looks like I got it right above the knuckle. Now let’s do the left hand. Mokume gane is…a metal working technique developed in Japan approximately three to four hundred years ago, in which two or more layers of metal are permanently joined together in alternating layers to form a stack (or billet). In the traditional Japanese technique the bond was achieved by diffusion welding of the layers in a charcoal forge. On this laminated billet patterns of the different colored alloys were created by a combination of cutting, twisting, and forging of the laminate in ways to expose the various layers. The patterned billet was then formed into finished work by applying standard forging and fabrication techniques. No word on price, but you know what they say, “If you have to ask, you’re obviously poor and security’s watching on CCTV to make sure you don’t steal anything.” Quick, pocket some throwing stars and run! James Binnion Metal Works Product Site via I’d Like My Ring Samurai Style [gizmodo] Thanks to Jake, who agrees the ring is definitely less mighty than the sword (the One Ring excluded of course).

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Just As Deadly: Samurai Sword Wedding Ring

Ninjabread Men are ninja -shaped cookie cutters from Fred & Friends so you can stage little cookie fights in your highchair while mommy fixes dinner . Just don’t knock over your sippy cup! These stealthy warriors are set to sneak into your kitchen and stage a cookie coup! Cut, bake, decorate…and then watch them disappear! Ninjabread Men are molded from rugged, food-safe ABS plastic and packaged in a colorful giftbox. True story: one time I was baking a batch of ninja cookies when the buzzer went off I opened the oven door and *POOF!* they had already disappeared . Haha, what do you mean you could you tell I was lying? It was the me baking part, wasn’t it? I’VE WAKED AND BAKED BEFORE. Perpetual Kid Product Site Thanks to Keith, who’s had ninja cookies before and claimed one tried to stab him in the throat. I believe it, they threw raisins at me once.

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Deadly Deliciousness: Ninjabread Cookies

In case Geekologie is the only site on the interweb you visit (good for you), David Carradine, best known for his role as Shaolin priest Kwai Chang Caine in Kung Fu and Bill in the Kill Bill series, was found dead by alleged hanging in his hotel room in Bangkok. He was 72. Carradine was in Bangkok to shoot a movie and had been staying at the hotel since Tuesday. In all, he appeared in more than 100 feature films with such directors as Martin Scorsese, Ingmar Bergman and Hal Ashby. One of his prominent early film roles was as singer Woody Guthrie in Ashby’s 1976 biopic “Bound for Glory.” Hi-ya, David, hi-ya . R.I.P. Actor David Carradine found dead in Bangkok [yahoonews] Thanks to Gem, Rosswell, Steven, Freddy and Matthew, who have all taken the day off to partake in a Kung Fu marathon.

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Awh, Damnit: David Carradine Found Dead

I’m not sure if you enjoyed the last episode of Isao Machii: Modern Samurai as much as I did, but if you didn’t, you should watch it again until you do. Then we can start a book club . But instead of books we’ll discuss Youtube videos and drink beer . Plus, if you’re a chick, we could make out. Hell, even if you’re not but willing to wear a Dilophosaurus costume. Anyway, I’m sure you’ve just been chilling till the next episode, but chill no longer, because here she blows. The highlights: 0:45 : Isao cuts the wick off a burning candle. The GW begins practicing for his next birthday party. 2:30 : Isao cuts the skin off a piece of asparagus. My pee smells funny after I eat asparagus. 4:40 : Isao slices the tail off an arrow that’s been shot at him. I reconsider bringing a bow and arrow to a samurai sword fight. 8:30 : Isao cuts a steel plate in half without bending or warping the piece at all. I consider hiring Isao for future construction jobs. Well folks, there you have it, the latest from a modern Samurai. And now, the latest from a modern Don Juan: Last night : Woman at the bar rejected all my advances, despite my insistence I could make her internet famous. Went home alone and treated myself to a stranger in the bathtub. Too romantic? Youtube Thanks to Tom and Jason, who can cut through steel with just a glance and have to wear those special shades Cyclops wears. Just kidding, they’re fake Oakleys.

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Modern Samurai Returns With More HI-YA