This is a video of a group of ex-laboratory chimpanzees seeing daylight for the first time in their lives (for some, others since the capture from their mothers soon after birth) and most are over 20. Obviously, they’re f***ing ecstatic to no longer be working (Labor Day tie-in!). Did I mention I cried manly tears? I hope I didn’t. And if I did it’s only because I’m chopping onions for chili-cheese dogs. Hit the jump for 2-minutes of blurred vision.

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Labor No More: Ex Lab-Chimps See Daylight For First Time In Lives (And Some Are 30)

In far less depressing (non- squid ) animal news, a 12-year old African spur-thighed tortoise NAMED GAMERA ( ? Gamera is really neat, Gamera is filled with meat ? ) had to have its front left leg amputated after a severe burn and tissue damage. So what did the vets do? What any Transformers fan would — epoxied a swivel wheel from somebody’s desk chair on him. BU-BWAM! — Gamera rolled out of surgery with a new lease on life. Oh man, just think if he’d had a set of wheels when he was racing that cocky hare (NOT assy fur). He…probably would’ve flown off the course and crashed into a tree or something. Hit the jump for one more shot and a video of Gamera bein’ all “I don’t if I got a wheel for a leg, I’m here for the grass.”

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Turtle’s Leg Replaced With Desk Chair Wheel

Picture moderately unrelated. The Healing Heroes Project is a nonprofit venture by do-gooder Josh Jenkins in which he gives terminally ill children in the hospital superhero “templates” to color and create the way they’d like, then Josh uses them to customize existing action figures into one-off’s of the children’s own designs. *wiping tear* Sorry — I think I got a shard of glass in my eye. Healing Heroes is a project dedicated to helping critically and terminally ill children. The aim of the project is to bring a little happiness into these childrens lives in a time when things might not be looking so bright for them. And what makes a kid happier than toys! More specifically the goal is to have the children design a superhero and within a week have an actual 1 of a kind custom action figure made for them from their design. It is my hope that this will in some small way help the kids through a really tough time in their lives and give them something positive to focus on while in the hospital. Josh is currently seeking action figure donations to help get the project underway (or start a massive action figure collection on the cheap), so if you’re interested in helping out be sure to go check out his website for details. Then, pat yourself on the back and pray Ol’ St. Nick wasn’t f***ing napping. I EXPECT BIG THINGS THIS YEAR, FAT MAN! The Healing Heroes Project Thanks to Taylor, who wishes all the sick children Wolverine-like recoveries. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

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Good Causes: The Healing Heroes Project

Oscar the grouch kitty was sleeping in a field when his back legs got run over by a combine harvester. That story smelling fishy as shit aside, now he has bionic legs. His new kitten heels were designed with custom-made implants, which “peg” the ankle to the foot and mimic the way deer antler bone grows through skin. In a three-hour procedure, the veterinary surgical team inserted the pegs by drilling into one of Oscar’s ankle bones in each of his back legs. The implants, which are attached to the bone at the amputation site, were coated with hydroxyapatite to encourages bone cells to grow onto the metal. Oscar was trying to stand a day after the surgery and, despite some problems with infection, he was able to bear weight equally on all four limbs within four months. Fitzpatrick said the patient had made a remarkable recovery. “Oscar can now run and jump about as cats do,” he said. Heartwarming, isn’t it? Also kind of gross. But mostly heartwarming. I swear, medicine’s sure come a long way, hasn’t it? Reminds me of the time my little sister broke her arm. We had to put her down . Video report with bionic-foot footage after the jump.

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Your Kneading Feels Different: A Bionic Kitty

This is probably older than the topical gel I found in the back of my medicine cabinet while hunting for my Valtrex multi-vitamins, but that doesn’t affect the cuteness. As you can see, it’s a cat dressed up as Link . Making him the coolest cat ever (besides your own, I’m sure). Granted, he forgot the apostrophe in “I’m” and can’t capitalize to save his last half-heart , but he’s a cat for crying out loud. They’re notoriously poor with grammar. And also, in general. MR. WHISKERS — YOU’RE LATE ON RENT AGAIN! Picture [wtfux] Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who agrees he could only be cuter if he was swinging a wooden sword.

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It’s Dangerous To Go Alone. Take This.