This is a $10 Han Solo in carbonite ice cube tray from ThinkGeek. It molds ice cubes that look like Han Solo frozen in carbonite …that’ll last ten seconds in a drink before transforming into formless blocks. Now that’s magic. Also, anybody think it’s weird his name is Han SOLO despite the fact I heard he’s never had sex with less than two women at once? I’m serious, Chewie told me he like never masturbates. Hit the jump for a picture of a cube Photoshopped into a glass of water and a picture that’ll answer the burning question, “but will it work for chocolate?”

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Jabba Drinks: Han Solo In Carbonite Ice Molds

Note: Check the filename if you’re really having trouble. Also, never attempt the hidden-picture on the back of a Highlights. I bet Han shot first after all! Get it? Because he’s a selfish lover! Greedo Was A… [buzzfeed]

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When You See It, You’ll Pass LEGO Bricks

Dammit Harrison , nobody cares about the new POS movie you have coming out, we only wanna hear about that space-adventure you were in 27 years ago. Thank God we have ABC News to put you in your place. Also, thank God we have ABC for Dancing With The Stars , amirite? Love that sessy dancin’. Speaking with ABC News about his new movie Morning Glory , Ford was asked why there were no new Star Wars films featuring Han Solo, and he explained that not only was there no reason for the character to return, but also: “As a character he was not so interesting to me. I thought he should have died in the last one, just to give it some bottom. George [Lucas] didn’t think there was any future in dead Han toys.” First of all, OF COURSE GEORGE LUCAS ONLY CARED ABOUT SELLING TOYS. The man probably goes to AA meetings to steal the coffee and cookies — HE’S A TERRIBLE PERSON. Secondly, just look at that picture. That right there is what I like to call the textbook definition of “bedroom eyes”. *douching* Be there in a minute, Han, just freshening up! Hit the jump to see that part of the interview, you have to watch a 30-second commercial though, so I didn’t.

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Harrison Ford: Han Solo Should Have Died

This is a picture of someone who’s been vacuum -packed. Sounds freaky deaky , I know. And that’s because it is freaky deaky . Apparently people like the way it feels. See? Those frozen chicken cutlets don’t have it so bad after all! There’s a video of a human vacuum-packing in action after the jump, and I’ve got to admit: I wouldn’t mind trying it. On you. Tell me, how do you feel about getting dumped in a river afterward? Hit the jump for one more shot, a video of the WTF’ery, as well as a NSFW link (some see-through) to Kink Engineering with even more ZOMGOODNESS.

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I’m Not Surprised (But Still Deeply Disturbed): A "Han Solo Frozen In Carbonite" Fetish

Always thought you’d make a good Han Solo ? You’re the only one. It’s true, your mom thought you should audition for Jar Jar . But now you can fulfill your dreams anyway with JibJab’s ‘Star Wars: Starring You’. You just go to the website, upload some pictures of you and your friends (or a bunch of penises0, and next thing you know, BOOM, you’re saving the galaxy and shit. Whee! Now get out there and motorboat Leia’s golden boobies for me! Kidding, that doesn’t really happen outside your dreams. Or the picture I just drew. See? I gave you big lips. Star Wars Starring You [jibjab] Thanks to Melonie, Jackie and Ken, who got in a fist fight over who would be Lando Calrissian. Well, I guess there’s only one way to solve this: I’ll be Lando.

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Star Wars: Now Starring You And Your Friends

Every wanted to rub a frozen Han Solo between your breasts/buttcheeks while you were showering and get clean at the same time? I’m with you — I don’t even care about the cleanliness aspect . And for $6.50 you can do whatever you want to with him! Each soap is hand detailed for greater clarity with matte and metallic pigments. These are made one at a time, with A LOT of love. COOLEST SOAP EVER!! #fact 100% Fragrance-free and ultra gentle on skin. Made with pure olive oil, shea butter and aloe vera. Count me in! I just ordered a bar and I plan on convincing a friend it’s chocolate . Oh man, can you imagine the look on his face when he bites in and finds out it’s actually soap?! The look of losing a friend. One more shot and a link to the product page after the jump.

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You Washed My Unmentionables While You Were Frozen! Han Solo In Carbonite Soap